You drew stars around my scars

Chapter 36

That night Andrea watched as Taylor and Jessica were giddy with excitement on their facetime after the news of this morning. She giggled herself at their jokes but hoped this light heartedness would continue when the girl actually came home – she was worried the reality was going to be harder than either realised. As she sat there listening to them talking about their plans she flashed back to when Taylor was at the depths of her eating disorder:

Andrea, Taylor and Tree were sat in Taylor's kitchen at the table discussing the tour plans. Andrea was desperately trying to convince Taylor to eat some of the steak, potatoes and vegetables that was in front of her but she continued to just push it around the plate. Taylor had been telling them she was recovering – that she was seeking therapy, that she was getting help but it became evident that wasn't true. When Taylor told them about one of the dance routines she was rehearsing for Andrea lost her temper "THERE WILL BE NO DANCE ROUTINE IF YOU'RE DEAD!" Silence fell over the room as the words echoed round, Andrea rubbed her face, tears spilling down her face – the helplessness finally hitting her. Taylor tried to reach across the table, to reassure her but Tree shook her head "there is no reassuring her about this Taylor, we can see it clearly. She is right – you are slowly killing yourself." Taylor snorted as anger surged through her, the redhead didn't give up though "the only way you can reassure her is to actually eat that." Taylor glanced down at it "I don't like it." Tree rolled her eyes "it's your favourite." Taylor snarled "I don't LIKE IT!"

Andrea was about to speak up again but Tree beat her to it "If you don't start eating – I will speak to the team, we will cancel the tour. You're not well enough to be going on stage performing every night. You will pass out". Taylor snorted again "you can't cancel the tour because I didn't eat my dinner, don't be so ridiculous!" Tree shrugged "we can cancel the tour because your physical and mental health is not up to it. We will pull our support, we will stop it one way or another. I AM SERIOUS TAYLOR. You start eating or this isn't happening".

The older blonde remembered all the battles they had, all the tears and tantrums, all the begging Taylor did and she remembered how it nearly destroyed her too. Seeing somebody so visibly upset at every meal was hard, especially when it is somebody so close to you.

Andrea knew Taylor wouldn't ever admit to needing help when the girl was home so instead she knew she would have to force it upon them both.

As the two chatted about their visit tomorrow, Andrea interrupted "How about I come along, I can pack most of your things – leave you with just a small bag for the next couple of days while you two hang out. That way on Monday you can relax more and won't have to worry about lugging bags and bags of your stuff out."

Both of them agreed to this – thanking Andrea for her help. Andrea was just about to sit down again when Jessica asked her "Are you staying at Tay's house again today?" Andrea nodded, her face filling the screen – "yeah I'm just looking after Tay to make sure she's ok". As soon as the words were out her mouth she realised that the girl knew nothing about Taylor's episode yesterday and Taylor froze, eyes wide as Jessica asked with a hint of panic "why? What's wrong?". Taylor recovered quickly "I've had a cough and cold – nothing big but just a bit run down I think. Just needed some love and attention!" Jessica relaxed instantly "oh ok. Well when I get home I'll help look after you too!" Taylor smiled slightly "Thanks baby. Well we better go, we'll be there tomorrow 1pm as usual. Sleep well sweet girl". They hung up the phone and Andrea instantly began apologising "I am SO sorry – I didn't think". Taylor shrugged "no biggie – she didn't realise. I'm not hiding it from her, I just don't want her to think it's her fault or something" Andrea nodded and the pair of them settled down for the night.

The next morning the two women plodded around the house, about 11am Taylor still hadn't had anything to eat and Andrea sat her down with some cereal and orange juice, "what are your blood sugars looking like today?" Taylor grimaced guiltily "I haven't actually done them yet – I hate doing it!" Andrea frowned "I don't care – they said you need to do it so you need to do it. Do it now" Taylor threw her head back groaning "I'll do it after I eat" Andrea shook her head, standing up quickly and grabbing the machine "finger please." Begrudgingly Taylor held her hand out and flinched as Andrea poked her finger until it bled, they squeezed the blood into the machine and waited until it bleeped. Taylor noted it down quickly before smiling at her Mum "see? Fine" Andrea smirked at her "just checking!" Taylor quickly ate her breakfast then went to get ready, soon they were leaving, the nervous feeling in her stomach growing with each minute.

As soon as they walked in they found Jessica packing up her belongings, she ran straight over and hugged them both "Only 2 more days!" Taylor grinned excitedly "well we are here today, you're here tomorrow and I'm picking you up at 9am Monday so technically only one more day.." They both giggled and got to work packing up all her belongings – the girl had collected so much stuff while she was in there. There was a large pile of clothes in the corner that she hadn't packed "What are they?"

Jessica shrugged "none of them fit me anymore, they were all my skinny clothes. I thought we could donate them? They're never going to fit me now I'm fatter." Taylor wanted to correct her use of fat and skinny but didn't want to draw too much attention to it, she put them in a second bag – promising she would take care of it.

Soon enough the room was packed up and the three of them sat chatting, Andrea showed Jessica some videos of the new tricks Kitty had learnt and Jessica tried her luck "maybe we should get a dog....?" Taylor snorted "no way – I need to learn to take care of you first, thank you very much!" All of them laughed, soon the Doctor came back in "As we all know – it's been a great week, Jessica is completely on track to leave as planned Monday morning. Now Taylor, we usually send them home with a months worth of meal plans, we would advise sticking to them but when or if that isn't possible we have given a breakdown of the calories content of each meal then further broken that down into proteins, fats, carbohydrates etc etc. It means you can essentially cook what you want or eat our somewhere and know if it is going to fit the meal plan. We will set up the next 4 weeks of appointments with you Monday when you come to collect her but I just wanted to take this opportunity to congratulate you both for making it through this. I know the last few months haven't been easy – you've both persevered and I truly believe you're on a healthier path Jessica but we are going to be here to support you through the rest of your recovery." All three of them thanked her then Taylor and Andrea headed out, dragging the many bags back to the car.

Once they were in and driving Andrea turned towards her "You just finished your last ever visit. Next time you see her, you'll be bringing her home!" Taylor beamed at her "I am so ready for this chapter to be over, I know it won't be easy having her home, but at least we can get back to some normality. The hospital visits are so restricted it's draining. I can't wait to take her out and about – get her used to normal life again."

Andrea left soon after – leaving Taylor alone for one final day before Jessica came home.

Andrea made the decision to have them over to her house 2 x a week for lunch – she knew that was she could help with Jessica while still keeping an eye on Taylor. She told Taylor of her plan and the blonde gratefully accepted, aware she was going to need all the help she could get when she had the girl to look after full time again.