You drew stars around my scars

How did it end? (part 5 - final)

The next couple of weeks were hard work for everyone.

Jessica continued to beg and plead to be let home every time the teen saw Taylor until eventually the blonde threatened to stop coming to visit. Hearing that was enough to scare Jessica into not asking anymore.

That didn't mean the teen didn't think about it though, all she thought about was getting home.

Taylor and Tree visited her on a Monday morning, the teen had been forced into eating every meal and she had given in – secretly glad somebody else was taking control so she didn't have to battle the voices in her head. When she was truly given no choice but to eat, it actually helped – she didn't feel SO much guilt. She still felt some – but it was like she could trick her brain into thinking she had no choice.

Tree hadn't seen her in a few days and was pleasantly surprised "Hey honey! You look great!"

Jessica smiled "thanks – I feel good!"

Taylor moved over, kissing her head gently "have you taken your medicine today?"

The teen had been started on a new antidepressant and initially she fought against it, not wanting to take it because it made her feel sick but after a promise that it would get better, she had been agreeing to it "yeah I had it straight after breakfast – taking it after food did help, like you said it would"

Taylor nodded "good I'm glad. How are you sleeping?"

Jessica smiled widely "really good. I go to bed at 10pm and I haven't been waking up at all. I get up about 7 for bloods and weights but I would probably sleep later if they let me...I really do feel a lot better"

Tree smiled kindly at her "that's great honey. You're trying your hardest"

Jessica nodded "I really am...my therapist said I'm making good progress...she even said the team would start to discuss my discharge if I carried on like this!"

Hearing that, Taylor frowned "it's a little soon – don't you think?"

Jessica glared at her "No. It's been nearly 3 weeks in here. I'm taking my meds, I'm eating, I'm doing therapy...they think I'm ready"

Taylor looked at Tree, fear on her face so Tree smiled softly "we will talk to them – listen to what they've got to say but we need to make sure that you're really ready and not just doing it to get out of here..."

Jessica sighed dramatically "even when I do what I am supposed to – you two don't trust me!"

Tree squeezed the teen's hand "it's going to take a while to rebuild that trust up – but it's not even about that, we need to know you're safe"

Taylor nodded "we don't want you to come home and go straight back to bad habits. If you're coming home, you need to be healthy – physically and mentally"

Jessica groaned "I don't know what else I can do to prove it to you!"

Taylor cupped her face gently "you just have to keep trying. I can see you're anxious. It's amazing you're eating but I want you to have some better coping mechanisms so when you're home, you can use those to help you when you're struggling"

Jessica nodded, aware they neither of them truly believed her right now. She sighed "You're right, it is a struggle – but I think it's going to be a struggle while I'm in here because it's true. I can manage life in here because it's not real life. I need to be at home – to feel those hard emotions and to work through it. I know you're both scared – but I really don't want to die. I actually want to get better. I'm tired of feeling like this. This is the 2nd time I've had to stay in hospital and I hate it. I want to be normal. I want to be happy. I know it's going to take me time to get there, but I am committed to getting better"