You drew stars around my scars

Chapter 29

The next four days passed quickly for both Taylor and Jessica. The teen was settling in well at the treatment centre. Taylor was monitoring her daily through the app. The teen had gained 0.5lb since arriving and Taylor could see she was beginning to try to eat at meals – but was probably still only completing about ¼ of her food.

The two of them facetimed every day – Taylor catching her up on what music she was writing and what plans she was making for them over the summer while Jessica told Taylor all about the other patients and what she had been doing.

Visiting day was Saturday and Jessica was weighed Friday morning, they knew a condition of visiting was gaining enough weight and although Taylor wouldn't admit it to Jessica, she was nervous that the girl hadn't done enough. She knew the target was 2-3lbs and was concerned that Doctors wouldn't let her see her – but she also knew considering it was the very first week, they both desperately needed to see each other.

Friday afternoon Taylor was cleaning the house when a message popped up on her phone, it was a message on the treatment centre app confirming the visit for 1pm the next day. Taylor grinned widely and messaged her Mum the good news.

Later that night Jessica facetimed "Have you heard yet?" Taylor nodded, grinning widely "yep – all good. I am coming at 1 o clock tomorrow – so just after your lunchtime!" Jessica cheered and Taylor giggled. When there was a gap in the conversation Taylor saw Jessica shifting uncomfortably "what's wrong babe?!". Jessica looked down, embarrassed "would you...could you...would you mind bringing me some other bits? I really want a soft blanket for my bed – theyr'e all so scratchy here, and maybe some comfy clothes, oh and maybe some books? I have a lot of time to pass". Taylor lit up instantly, happy to help "Of course! Oooh I can go shopping tomorrow. Any preferences on a colour blanket?" Jessica hummed as she thought "Maybe just grey, nice and neutral?" Taylor beamed, to her this wasn't just about the blanket – it was the first time Jessica had asked for anything – and especially anything to make herself feel better. A soft blanket to stop the scratchy skin, comfy clothes, books to entertain her – all very simple things but all small pleasures – it gave Taylor a huge beam of hope that things were going to be better.

The next day Taylor turned up to the centre, a bag filled with supplies for the girl – she had also included some lip balm, hand cream and a new hairbrush. As soon as she walked into the girl's bedroom Jessica ran over, grabbing her into a hug. Both of them smiled at each other, taking in the others features as if they had been separated for more than 5 days. Taylor helped the girl unpack her new belongings and then they settled, sitting on the bed – chatting away. After about an hour the Doctor came in again "Hello again! Just thought I'd pop in and give you an update. Jessica has had a good few days – she seems to have settled well. Jessica is managing to eat her snacks in their entirety but meals are still problematic – Jessica eats probably 25% - but that is an improvement and we are offering supplement. As it's the first week we haven't pushed too hard but from today we will be using the tube to give anything she doesn't eat. We would also like to see Jessica interacting more with the other residents. This week Jessica has been quite shy – but she has been really brave and come to all the sessions which is amazing. We can see she's trying really hard and I think that if that continues we will start to see some real improvement soon." Taylor was grinning ear to ear as she listened to the Doctor, reaching out and rubbing Jessica's arm. The doctor then finished off "This is just the one word of warning, we have allowed the visit this week because it is her first week and she only joined us Monday. But again, from today – if she does not eat more orally, or doesn't hit the required weight gain we unfortunately will be stopping next week's visit." Taylor thanked her and the Doctor quickly left the room, Jessica was chewing her lip nervously but Taylor pulled her into a tight hug again "Well done buddy! You're trying so hard!" Jessica nodded, a small smile on her face "Thanks, I just thought – if I want to get out, I have to try" Taylor nodded, not wanting to push more about wanting to get better for herself or all the other reasons – she was trying, that's all that mattered right now. Fake it til you make it.

The afternoon snack came and Taylor expected a battle but Jessica slowly made her way through the cereal bar offered, there was no emotion behind her face while she ate – if anything it was a mechanical, almost robotic motion of eating but Taylor didn't care – the girl was voluntarily putting food into her body. As soon as the girl finished Taylor wanted to leap up and scream with joy but instead she just rubbed the teen's shoulder and said "well done, you're so brave!". Jessica worked on distracting herself, trying to forget about the calories she had just eaten. She knew she had no choice here, but the guilt still ate her alive after every mealtime. Taylor could tell she was uncomfortable, she watched as the girl shifted and groaned when she moved. In an attempt to distract her further she moved next to the teen "want me to braid your hair?" Jessica nodded eagerly – the feeling of having her hair played with was always on of her favourites. Taylor got to work, doing two braids on either side of the girls head – it took about 30 minutes for her to do it perfectly, working slowly to long out the distraction. As soon as she was done Jessica laid her head on Taylor's shoulder while they chatted away.

The afternoon went quickly and soon it was dinnertime – the nurses came in to collect Jessica and tell Taylor that it was time to leave. Taylor braced herself as she expected another battle but instead the teen gave her a quick hug "you'll call me tomorrow?" Taylor nodded and kissed her head quickly "I promise, keep up the good work baby and I'll see you again next weekend too. Make a list of anything else you want and I will grab it for you. I love you!" Jessica pulled away and stepped towards the nurse, making Taylor breathe out a sigh of relief that this time it was nearly painless leaving the girl. She made her way back to her car and quickly dialled her Mum while she drove home , catching her up on the success of the visit. Their conversation lasted the whole journey home and as Taylor pulled up at her house she realised she hadn't stopped smiling since she left the girl – she felt like there was finally some light at the end of the tunnel.

She walked into her house and immediately sat at her piano, writing another new song. Before she knew it, it was midnight and she needed to head up to bed – she quickly checked the app before she fell asleep and saw that Jessica had eaten 60% of her dinner tonight and had completed the remaining 40% with a supplement. That was the first full meal Jessica had eaten in weeks and pride coursed through Taylor as she fell asleep peacefully.