You drew stars around my scars

Chapter 9

The next week passed in a blur, Jessica's pain increased as more bruising came out all over her body and the grief hit her hard.

They settled into the right routine of her meds, trying to stay on top of the pain. One thing they really couldn't get on top of was eating.

As the grief sunk in more, the young girl began to withdraw more. Taylor often caught her just staring into space, when Taylor did try to get her to eat the girl just seemed to cry. Taylor was lost for what to do. She invited her mum over for lunch, hoping a familiar face may help them both.

Andrea arrived and she set about fussing over both Taylor and Jessica. She turned to the younger girl "How are you feeling?", Taylor bit her lip nervously, awaiting an answer as they both stared at the teen, she shrugged slightly "I'm ok."

Andrea tried again, desperate to get her to open up, she could see the girl had lost even more weight "Are you in much pain Sweetheart? The grazes look a bit less angry now?"

The teen instinctively reached up and touched her face as she responded, self conscious of all the marks. Taylor pulled her hands down gently, paranoid about them getting infected "The pain is definitely easing, I don't even notice my shoulder now. The wrist barely hurts – just heavy with the cast and I cannot wait to have a proper shower. The cuts only sting when we put the cream on them. The only thing that is bothering me really is my ribs – but even that's slightly better than it was" Andrea nodded encouragingly "and have you two got any plans over the next few days? Get out the house and get some fresh air?"

Taylor rubbed the young girls leg reassuringly "well tomorrow we have Jess' check up at the hospital in the morning then after lunch we have the meeting to discuss the funeral" The young girl tensed immediately at the mention of the funeral – she knew it had to be done but she didn't want to make the decisions. Taylor glanced at her again, taking a deep breath before continuing "and actually this morning I took a phone call, Jess' doctor rung and they want to see her tomorrow too for a follow up of the last appointment, before the accident" this was news to the girl and she frowned immediately "no, I don't want to do that!" Taylor smiled sadly at her "I knew you wouldn't but it's just a chat. I think it might help us, I don't really know what the next steps are and I know you've been finding eating really tough. It'll be good to check in and see what they say." The girl sloughed down in the chair sullenly, feeling the anxiety creeping up. She zoned out as Taylor and her mum chatted away, she was brought back into the conversation by Taylor squeezing her hand, she realised they were both looking at her, expecting an answer to a question she hadn't heard.

Taylor smiled and tried again "I said, what do you want for lunch?" The girl began to protest but the blonde put her hand up, stopping her protests immediately "we can have a sandwich, pasta, a salad, soup, grilled cheese, eggs?" The young girl looked between the two women "I don't know?" Andrea recognised the anxiety and suggested "how about we just have a grilled cheese with some fruit. Tay do you have some more of those strawberries?" The blonde nodded quickly, glancing at the teens reaction and relaxing slightly when she shrugged – not an enthusiastic agreement but not a total refusal.

As Taylor and her mum went into the kitchen to start Jess began to flick through the TV, drowning out the two women.

Taylor began to gather all the ingredients but her mum sat her down, telling her to rest "You look exhausted yourself Tay, have you been sleeping?" Taylor nodded "I sleep, but it's just a lot. You saw that Mum – she never wants to eat, it's always a battle. I try to engage her in the decisions but that seems to make it worse. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or making it worse. That's why I want to go to the Doctor tomorrow – I think she's lost more weight and I don't know what to do anymore." Andrea listened intently, humming in agreement "She is overwhelmed Tay, her life has been turned upside down. Making a simple decision like what she wants to eat is exhausting. She is distracted, trying to process what has happened to her. Just be the calm in the storm. Support her but don't push her. Be firm, she has to have something but give her 2 clear simple choices, no negotiating. Give her a routine, set agreed mealtimes so she knows when it is coming. Try and distract her in between meals. Get out the house, being caged in isn't doing either of you any good. Find out if there is anything she really wants to do."

Taylor looked up at her mum, her eyes welling up "how do you know what to do? You didn't even have to think about that!" the frustration was evident in her voice so Andrea went over and pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head "over 3 decades of parenting experience. You've had a week to adjust darling, you won't get it overnight. Plus – I did the food avoidance with you, remember? That was as much of a battle, maybe even worse because you were an adult and I had no right to dictate what to do. You can't force her but you can sure as hell put up a fight for her".