You drew stars around my scars

Emmeline

It was Emmeline's first day of preschool and Taylor was an emotional wreck. She couldn't believe her baby was so grown up.

At the drop off, Emmeline was loving exploring until she realised that Taylor was going to be leaving her there. She began to cry, trying to cling to her desperately until the teachers had to pull her off and hold her so Taylor could escape.

As soon as she got back in the car, Taylor's tears began and she cried the whole way home.

It was only a settling in session so Emmeline was only there until 1pm that day. When Taylor picked her up, the toddler ran straight to her – signalling to be picked up which Taylor did immediately. They cuddled in together until Taylor got her strapped into her carseat.

As Taylor drove home, she looked at Emmeline in the rearview mirror "did you have fun today?!"

Emmeline nodded, telling her about what she had done that morning.

Taylor smiled along "and did you eat lunch?"

Emmeline shook her head "I didn't"

Taylor frowned "why not?"

Emmeline laughed "I eat at home with you Mummy!"

Taylor smiled but there was a worry growing "but you need to eat your lunch at lunchtime baby!"

Emmeline shook her head, frustration in her voice "No! I eat with you!"

Taylor decided not to talk about it anymore, but the worry that the child wouldn't settle at school was growing.

The next morning, at drop off Taylor spoke to the teachers about their conversation. They agreed to encourage her at lunchtime but explained it's not uncommon when children first start, they attempted to reassure Taylor that it would settle in time.

At lunchtime, Emmeline ate one bite of sandwich but then refused to touch anymore food despite the teachers attempting to motivate her.

When Taylor picked her up, Emmeline was slightly grumpier today.

When they got home, Taylor headed to the kitchen – unpacking the toddler's lunchbox. She frowned as she saw it was all still in there "Baby you didn't eat again!"

Emmeline shook her head "I don't like it"

Taylor frowned "you don't like the food I gave you?"

Emmeline stomped her foot "I don't like eating at SCHOOL!"

Taylor began to really worry that the emotional distress of being left was affecting the toddler. She began to regret her decision to enrol her into the preschool at all.

Over the next few days, Emmeline settled into the routine much more. She didn't cry when she was dropped off and she was eating her lunch – or at least most of it – every day.

After school on the Tuesday, she looked at Taylor – a smile on her face "Mummy, I have a big tummy!"

Taylor frowned "what baby?"

Emmeline nodded "Joseph says I have a big tummy coz I eated my lunch all up"

Taylor put on a fake smile, poking her gently "You have to eat your lunch to get big and strong! You don't have a big tummy..."

Emmeline was unbothered by the whole interaction but it began to set the fear deeper for Taylor. She was worrying that an issue with food was developing for the toddler and she didn't know the best way to handle it.

On Wednesday, when Taylor had picked Emmeline up she was very tired and grouchy.

It was the weekly dinner with Tree but because she was so tired, Jessica was fussy and refusing to eat.