Our Secret

Chapter 72: Grieving

Ivan POV

My head is spinning. The feeling of my dead mother's body on top of me is still fresh. It feels as if she's still lying dead on me, her warm body still oozing out of her and onto me

The image of her brown eyes losing the joy and love that once filled them. My dear mother died because of me

I don't feel normal anymore. I feel empty like I could burn the world with every living thing on it.

I am now officially an orphan. No more parents... the only people who ever truly cared about me in this fucked up world

"Ivan" the voice that I was growing to like, calmly calls out to me. Ruby Nikolaev

"Ruby" I mutter. Why does she come to bother me when I just got out of that three-day stay in that cell?

"I brought you some hot tea? I tried to bring Vanya and her sister some but they don't want anything from me" Would it be rude of me to say the same thing? I just want to be left alone to mourn her

"You can leave it on the bedside table" I never roll over to look at her. I just mutter everything with my back facing her

If I look at her, I might break down. And quite frankly, I'd prefer to do that by my lonesome

"I'm sorry for your loss. I know how much you must hate my father right not even so you know trying to avenge your mother wouldn't work" she states. Her antagonizing comment makes me roll over, making direct eye contact with her big brown watery eyes

"You don't think I know that" Thinking of revenge is just a thought, now acting on that revenge would be a deathwish

"I didn't mean to anger you—" she takes a few steps away from me, as I get up from the bed, in fear I'd hit her

"I don't hit women Ruby. I'm not like your father" I deadpan. Taking a big gulp of the steaming hot teat she brought me

"The tea isn't the only reason I came in here" Great, she carries news from her father. "I came to make sure you're not thinking of killing yourself."

A low chuckle falls from my lips "And if I was, you think you'd be able to talk me out of it?" We aren't all that close for her to think she could talk me down from trying to kill myself

If I was suicidal, trust that I would've been off this earth a long time ago. "Please Ruby, alone time is what is best for me"

"This is my room too!" She argues. "Nonetheless, you are hurting and deserver to be alone. I'll be in my old room until your ready for me to come back" She softly leans down and peaks my forehead

Ruby walks out of our room without another word. Leaving me in the solitude of my hurt. The comfortable be calls out to me, causing me to begin sinking back into my spot... but a guy can't stay alone forever because my room door is pushed open once again

"Hi," a sad familiar voice speaks out. Vanya

"I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for causing you this pain" she mumbles. Full of hurt just like me

"You didn't cause my pain, Vanya" I sigh, sitting up in bed once again

"It is through-"

"What were you supposed to do, let your sister be in trouble and possibly get killed?" I question. What decent sister does that?

"No, of course, I wouldn't leave her in trouble. I just should've left you out of it, keeping you from this pain and your mother alive. The guards were talking about how good you were and how your mother could be let go-" she breaks, crying, in the middle of my bedroom