To Trust the Dawn

Chapter 55

Note: This chapter contains a major spoiler in the Book 1: MBS. It is better if you read Ashia's story first before reading this for a better reading experience.

Chapter 55

Hindi ko makapa ang mga salitang maaaring sabihin. I was lost of words for a moment as my tongue was shattered into pieces again. Nararamdaman at naririnig ko ang pagkabasag ng puso ko sa loob ko dahil sa nalaman. The single tear that slipped out of my eye was followed by myriad of tears after that... especially because I could also hear his agonizing sobs.

It took me a minute before I was able to let out a deep breath. It stings. Knowing that one of the great and kind priests that I've known... has already passed away. At dalawang taon na pala ang nakalilipas, noong nando'n pa ako sa France. And it aches more with the fact that he was the only person that Ivan has always considered to be his father figure... the only person that he was with after he disowned his own mother.

I recalled the first and last moment that I met him face to face---noong pinakilala ako ni Ivan sa kaniya. His presence was so warm and welcoming that even if that was already five years ago, I could still remember it. Ang mga pakikisabay niya sa biro namin at sa kahanginan ng pamangkin niya. Ang taimtim niyang pakikinig kay Ivan noong pina-kuwento niya kami kung paano kami nagsimula. Ang mga payo niya sa amin.

Malinaw pa sa isip ko ang huli niyang payo sa amin...

"Nakatutuwa kayong tingnan. Patnubayan nawa kayo ng Diyos sa relasyon n'yo. Let Him guide your relationship, at huwag ninyong hayaang masira ito ng kahit ano o sino."

Pinunasan ko ang mga luha at ibinalik ang paningin sa kaniya. He was still in tears, as though the pain of knowing his death was still fresh in his mind. I gently held his hand that was trembling. Parang natauhan siya nang agad lumingon sa 'kin. Pero napansin ko ang mas lalong pagbuhos ng mga luha niya nang gawin 'yon.

"H-He's gone... He's gone f-forever, Aurora..."

Pinipilit kong huwag ulit maluha dahil kinakailangan kong punasan ang mga luha niya. I held his face, and wiped his tears when he attempted to wipe them first. I could see his vulnerability right through him... just like how I did when he was outside our condo unit. Para ba'ng kahit dalawang taon na ang dumaan ay sariwa pa rin... sariwa sa paraang parang ngayon lang siya nakapagluksa nang maayos... like he's been keeping it all in himself because he had no one to talk to about his grief.

Nang hindi na matiis na makita siyang ganoon ay kinulong ko siya sa mga bisig ko. Mas lalong naging matunog ang paghagulgol niya nang gawin ko 'yon, at mas mahigpit din ang naging pagyakap niya sa 'kin kaysa sa ginawa kong pagyapos. Nagtagal 'yon nang ilang minuto kaya ilang minuto rin kaming nanatili muna sa labas.

Nang tumahan siya ay ang mga luha ko naman ang pinunasan niya na hindi ko namalayang tumulo na naman pala. Pagkatapos ay maliit siyang ngumiti sa 'kin saka hinawakan ang kamay ko papasok sa loob ng bahay.

I came to a halt when I saw a familiar table... it was the table that Father Aaron used when he was... drowning himself in alcohol. When I saw him being sorrowful for the first time. Iyon ang panahon kung kailan humahanap ako ng tyempong makausap siya tungkol kay Ivan, pero hindi ko tinuloy dahil wala siya sa maayos na kalagayan at nakatulog lang din siya sa lamesa.

I cleared my throat and looked away. Minabuti kong sumunod na lang kay Ivan sa loob at huwag nang mag-focus sa mga bagay sa paligid na magpapaalala sa 'kin sa nakaraan. Nilibot ko ang paningin sa buong bahay at napansing walang kahit anong nagbago. The old things and antiques are still here. The picture frames that I observed years ago are still here.

I came to a halt when I realized something. Mayroon pa lang nagbago... dahil mayroong dalawang nadagdag sa mga picture frame na 'yon. Sinipat ko muna si Ivan na nagtungo sa kusina para kumuha ng tubig bago nilapitan ang isang pabilog na mesa kung saan nakalagay ang dalawang picture frames na nadagdag.