wonderwall (Septiplier)

seventy seven

thank you so much to the lovely DatGuyOverThere for the wonderful fan art, you guys blow me away it's crazy! Thank you so much!

I slowly bobbed my head along to the music ringing through my earphones as I made my way up the path, back to mine and Mark's place. We hadn't spoken since I walked out to do my photo shoot but it was probably for the best, I slid the key into the hole and frowned as the door was already unlocked. I put my key away and entered slowly, calling out Mark's name but getting no response. I removed an earphone as I pushed open the living room door, stopping dead in my tracks as I spotted Matt sat on the sofa, glancing up at me. I ripped the other earphone out and locked my eyes onto him,

"Before you say anything, I'm here to see you not Mark." His voice came out shaky and he stood up, rubbing the palms of his hands against his jeans.

"Where is Mark?"

"He's with Matt and Ryan." I nodded, gradually sliding my backpack off my back and dumping it on the floor next to the chair.

"So he left you in our home, alone?" I noticed Matt was getting a little uncomfortable now, he was scratching his head in an attempt to explain himself.

"Yes, but I barely said a word to him, I just told him I was here to see you and he left me to wait. I promise that's all I said to him." I shrugged and took a seat, watching as Matt hesitantly sat down opposite me.

"I know I'm the last person you want to see, but please, just hear me out."

"Fine, go ahead." He looked at me slightly bewildered before clearing his throat,

"I'm not - I'm not sure what it is you think is going on between me and Mark, but I promise you, it's not what you think. There's this, this idea that's suddenly appeared that we're secretly dating behind your back or whenever we meet up we hang out as more than friends. But I promise you that it's not like that, I really do. Whenever we're together Mark's always gushing about you, you mean the world to him and I wouldn't ever want to come in the way of that." I raised my eyebrow at him and tilted my head slightly,

"So how do you explain you two being inches apart in the kitchen? Or the hand holding at your little dinner date the other day? Or completely ignoring my existence the first time we all went out for dinner? Because to me, they all seem a little suspicious." Matt shook his head at me and shuffled forward,

"I know how it looks Sean and I'm sorry that these things happened, well didn't happen but looked like they did. The kitchen incident, we were keeping each other on our feet, ignoring you, I was just awkward, I didn't really know you. And our secret date? That wasn't a date, we spent a lot of time talking about you and I had a pretty special announcement to make to Mark, regarding Amanda." I ran my fingers through my green hair and sighed,

"I want to believe you Matt, I do, but things just don't add up,"

"Listen - i know, I know things looked odd and I'm sorry about that. But I am not in love with Mark, I don't have some secret plan to steal him away from you when you're not looking because I know how happy it is. It's making me sad seeing him fret about hanging around with me, he's scared to have other friends in case he hurts you and Im not blaming you for that, but he's a really sensitive guy and he's really scared that he's going to lose you."

"He can have other friends..." I said weakly,

"I said that to him, but he's scared. I hate seeing him like that, he's one of my best friends and I can't hang around with him without him panicking that you're going to leave him and go back to Ireland or run away with Daithi." My eyes widened slightly,

"Does he - does he really think that?" Matt nodded,

"God I'm so stupid, so so stupid." I mumbled, what was I doing? I was scaring the love of my life into isolating himself from the people that care about him the most, and that was so so selfish.

"Matt I'm sorry, I - uh - I..." I trailed off as my breath hitched, I inhaled and exhaled deeply before closing my eyes and shaking my head.

Not now, not now, please not now.

"Sean, are you okay?" Matt's voice was distant and I noticed a shake in my hands, not now.

"I'm - uh" I attempted to stand up but my body felt like a dead weight, so I collapsed back into my chair and squeezed my eyes shut.

Not now, don't cry, don't panic, not now.

"Sean? Are you having a panic attack?" My eyes shot open and I looked at Matt who was now squatting down in front of me, I shrugged and lowered my head, closing my eyes. I felt Matt's hands rub my arm as he whispered for me to breathe,

"Just stay calm, or something, I'll call Mark." I tried to shake my head and tell him it's fine but my breathing was too quick for me to get a word out, I scrambled to my feet and pushed past Matt who was on the phone. I opened the front door and stepped outside, the warm air hitting my face as I paced back and forth in the garden.

Moments later Matt dashed out behind me, placing the phone out in front of me,

"Sean, Sean listen, Mark's on the phone and he wants to talk to you." I nodded and shakily retrieved the phone off Matt, holding it up to my ear and trying to focus on Mark's voice.

"Angel, it's me, now listen, I know you're panicking but try and answer these questions for me," I frowned but agreed,

"Alright, name five things you can see for me baby, any five things."

"Erm, Matt, grass - the uh - the sky, a car and - erm, a rock."

"Good Angel, now breathe." I closed my eyes, inhaling and exhaling.

"Done, now name four things you can feel," I made my way around the garden, gradually touching things.

"The gate, Matt, - erm - my hair, and the floor."

"Good baby, good, stay alert but breathe. Now name three things you can hear."

"You, birds and a plane." I spluttered, taking another deep breath,

"Good, good we're nearly there just stay focused, name two things you can smell." I shrugged as I sniffled,

"A barbecue and that's it, that's all I can smell."

"They're strong smelling, you're doing great Angel, breathe for me." I did as he said,

"Final question, name one thing that makes you happy." I looked up as a car pulled up outside the house, smiling as Mark opened the passenger door,

"You." I quickly passed the phone back to Matt before racing up the path and into Mark's arms, he wrapped himself around me and hugged me tightly, running his hands up and down my back softly.

"Hey, hey, you're okay now, I'm here and I'm so so proud of you." I remained silent and buried my face further into his chest, letting a single tear of happiness fall. How could I have been so stupid, all of these accusations and mishaps were making me one step closer to losing this man, and I couldn't do it. Matt was right, I was getting a bit too jealous but my mind was so convinced that I had lost him, I was blind to what I had in front of me and that was my Mark, my safety, my big spoon.

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I hope you guys liked this! I'm so sorry for the lack of updates but I'm currently in the middle of exams and uni stress so you'll have to give me some time haha!

But Matt and Sean have spoke it out!

Questions:
- thoughts on Matt?
- do you think Matt and Sean have realised their wrongs?
- thoughts on Mark helping Sean with his panic attack?
- what do you think is going to happen next?

QOTC: what's your favourite genre of film and music?

AOTC: film: rom com/comedy, music: I don't have a specific!