In Omnia Paratus (AU) - Book 2

Change?

"Why not?" I mumbled towards Richard as I had loosened my grip from around his neck and gone all shy away from him.

"We've done this before and look how it turned out...I really want you as a friend, you're so special to me Jen and I'm afraid if we start dating again, that if we break up, I'll loose you." Richard said enthusiastically.

"This," I pointed between him and me, "will never go away."

"You have to understand--"  

"I do understand. We would still be together if it wasn't for me! You never wanted to break up last year but I pushed you away because I was depressed." I shrugged.

"If we date, it will be serious and full on all over again. I don't think we need that." He shrugged.

"This summer then? We keep it casual. I don't want you to go away for six weeks and then start uni and forget about me. Let's spend some time together as friends or just casual dating." I offered up.

"I wouldn't forget about you... But I am up for casual. Like a trial to see if we could do this. But we lay down some rules." Richard said.

"Can we date other people?" I asked.

"Uhh yeah sure." He said slowly.

"Well some obvious rules; we don't tell anyone else, if it doesn't work out we forget about it and be friends when we go back to school and let's not argue please." I smiled stepping close to him.

Then he was kissing me and I felt great. I just had to prove to him that I could do casual and not get jealous. Simple.

"But I can tell Lily right?" I asked suddenly.

"You can tell Lily if I can tell Robert." He smirked at me and I frowned at his suggestion.

"Okay we won't tell anyone." I mumbled before kissing him again.

- - - - -

I don't know exactly how I was feeling about this whole thing. Pretty excited because I'd been pining after Richard the minute I had become available. I think I did love Matt but not how I love Richard. It's just isn't the same.

Anyway now I was preoccupied because violet was sleeping in my room tonight so I spent like 20 minutes at 1am going to get her stuff from Rachel's room and putting in mine. All the while with a wining tired child on my case.

"Jenna I want to go to bed." She complained at me as I was walking down the steps to find Rachel to get her keycard to get into her room and get violets stuff.

Richard was following behind with Violet in his arms. She was playing against his chest falling asleep but all the while uncomfortable and wanting to be in bed.

"I know Hun, just hang on in there. We're going to bed now." I smiled brushing my thumb along her cheek then looking up at Richard who smiled at me.

We finally got the key and got back to the room and by then Violet was dead asleep and Richard laid her down on one of the double beds.

"Thank you so much." I said stepping closer to him.

"That's okay, I did want you going around carrying her all that way." He smiles at me.

"Actually yeah, I need to talk to you about something." I said slowly. "It's nothing bad I promise. I just thought, now we're trying to make things work that I should probably tell you." I shrugged.

"Tell me what?" Richard asked taking my arm and sitting me down on the sofa.

"Well a couple of months back, I went to see Victoria because I had trouble with some things--" but he didn't even let me finish my sentence.

"What things?" He snapped.

"Just like lifting heavy things and reaching for things. I was in a bit of pain. So I took tablets for a month. They didn't really work so I went back and a couple of weeks ago, they ran some tests and turns out I have this thing called chronic pain." I explained to him.

"What even is that? Is it serious?" Richard said eagerly.

"It's basically tissue damage or muscle damage. It's when a pain lasts longer than 3 months." I explained.

"You've been in pain for 3 months?" He asked.

"No. It's not like that." I sighed. "It's only when I do something." I told him taking hold of his hand.

"So, is anything different? Do you have to change in anyway?" He asked me gently and smiled up at him because he was being so adorable.

"I have to set myself goals. Things to do to get stronger and fitter. If I sit around and rest all the time I can face things like muscle weakness and weight gain and likewise if I do too much exercise or something I could seriously and permanently injure myself." I said lightly.

"Is this really serious Jen?" He asked me stroking my arm. "Tell me the truth."

"You're the only person I've told but if I don't stay active then yes, it can get serious." I shrugged.

"I can help. Is there something I can do to read up on this thing?" He asked.

"I have a leaflet..." I started to rummage through my bag and I passed if to him and he scanned his eyes over the first page.

"This is great." He smiled before kissing my cheek. "So violets staying in this room tonight?" He asked suddenly.

"Yes, no sexy time tonight." I laughed leaning forward and kissing him. "You can stay here though, there's a sofa bed." I shrugged.

"Why can't I sleep with you?" Richard sounded a little offended.

"Well isn't it weird?" I frowned.

"No, her mum and dad sleep together in the same bed. There's no reason that her sister and her friend can sleep in the same bed." Richard shrugged as if it was obvious and then went over to my bed as laid down.

"Hey don't get comfy that's my side of the bed." I grumbled at him before peeling back the covers.