In Omnia Paratus (AU) - Book 2

Not okay

"Morning." Richard woke me up a few hours later that evening by kissing me gently. It was actually my favourite way to be woke up. It put a smile on my face before I even opened my eyes.

He pulled the blanket off me that I was laying under on the sofa and then he sat down next to where I was lying and he stroked my hair, pulling the blanket back up over himself and me.

"Evening to you too." I mumbled opening my eyes and yawning about 50 times before actually sitting up next to him. "You taste like Italian by the way." I smirked as I kissed him again.

"I got you some." He smiled leaning over and opening the pizza box which freaked me out for some reason.

I'm not even sure why I did this, but I threw up on the floor there and then. My heart was pounding and my chest felt all tight and weird.

"Oh dear." I heard someone say and I suddenly realised it wasn't just Richard and I in the room and I freaked out even more and grabbed Richards arm and tried my hardest to breathe normally, but he was busy moving the pizza and cleaning the floor.

"Jen, it's alright." Someone said and then I realised who's voice it was. He'd called Kate. He went behind my back and called my therapist.

"I know it's alright." I pushed her away gently standing up and walking away. I was in a sort of a daze.

I was frustrated with Richard for calling Kate and really confused as to what I was feeling. I didn't know what was wrong. My chest was pounding and I could feel every heartbeat, and then it was tight and weird and suddenly I was being sick everywhere? Why?

"Jenna--"

"No, I'm a big girl. I don't need babying, I know how to handle being sick." I moaned walking robotically to the toilet, grabbing some supplies and then moving Richard out of the way to clear it up.

They were speaking at me the whole time but I just ignored them and once I'd cleaned up my mess and picked up the plastic bin from the loo, put it by my bedside and went to bed, locking my door behind me.

- - - - -

"Wanna tell me what last night was all about?" Lily raised her eyebrows at me as she picked my lock, with the help of Matt and barged into my room and was now sat, positioned next to my bed.

I ignored her and turned over.

"Jenna."

I continued to ignore her.

"Right, you won't talk? Then listen. This isn't right, we both know it and if you don't let Richard or me or Kate help you, you will end up in hospital and you seriously don't want that because that means your dad has to come up and you miss valuable days of school. So mope around all day today, you don't have to talk to me or anyone. But tomorrow, I want you up and I want you talking to someone about whatever the fuck is wrong with you."

I just heard her wheel herself to the door and then slam it as she left, maybe not on purpose but it made me start to cry.

- - - - -

"I'm sorry, we've tried being nice and lovely to her and it's not working. It's not healthy to vomit at the sight of food and have a panic attack." Lily complained to Richard and Kate as they sat in Kate's office.

"What's she up to now?" Kate asked.

"In bed, asleep, or not. I don't know." Lily shrugged.

"Maybe she needs someone else to talk to her." Richard suddenly chirped up shrugging his shoulders as if this was obvious.

"Anyone in mind?" Lily sighed.

"Uh yeah actually. Who does she never argue with? Your boyfriend." Richard nodded at Lily.

"Matt?" Kate asked.

"Matt. He'll ask her anything and I bet you she'll say something we haven't heard before." Richard raised his eyebrows.

"Alright I'll text him to come here asap and then we can do this." Lily said texting him quickly.

- - - - -

There was someone knocking at the door again. "Can I come in?" A different voice asked. I didn't answer and I heard the door open anyway. No one ever listened anymore. "What's up with you?" Matt asked coming in and sitting down on the other side of the double bed.

I was slouched down but sat in the bed reading a book.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"You're not okay? I want to know why." Matt shrugged.

"I--" I started my sentence and was about to lie to him like had been to everyone else these last few weeks and months, but something was stopping me. "I'm not okay." I sighed suddenly.

It was the first time I'd ever said that aloud and it freaked me out for a bit but also really took a weight off my shoulders.

"You're not?" Matt asked.

"If I tell you the truth will you lie to everyone and say that you'd don't know?" I pouted glancing across at him.

"Sure." He shrugged.

"It's a few things. I'm feeling guilty mainly." I sighed.

"About what?"

"Maisie, Lily, Richard." I tried my hardest not to break into some tears, finally admitting it to someone.

"Okay wanna explain?" He asked.

"No."

"Alright, that's okay. Maybe another time. Chill out." Matt wrapped an arm around me and rubbed my arm to stop me from crying. I laughed lightly and eventually he did leave me alone.

- - - - -

"So, what happened?" Lily asked as Matt came into her room.

"She's... admitted that's she's not right at the moment. Im still working on getting why out of her." Matt nodded at Richard who was sat with them waiting for Matt to come out and report back.

"Alright. At least she knows this isn't okay." Richard smiled. "I'm going to try and talk to her. See if she need any help and I'll try and get info but I doubt she'll speak." Richard explained.

"Yeah, see ya later."