In Omnia Paratus (AU) - Book 2

Hospital pt.2

"I'm sorry." I whispered slowly.

"Don't--" he said quietly. "Don't apologise, actions speak louder than words...do something about it! God I can't--!"

"Is everything alright?" Victoria stepped in and frowned at us both. She must have heard some sort of shouting, but it was expected from us these days.

"Yeah fine." Richard said quickly. She looked over at me to agree and I nodded and smiled. Victoria then disappeared. God how I wanted her to stay and stop this argument.

"Look you don't need to apologise to me Jen. You need to think before you start punishing yourself. Is it lily? Is that why you're suddenly hurting yourself?" Richard offered sounding nicer this time.

"She can't walk because of me. She Can't get out of bed or move around properly and every time I see her suffer I feel sick." I mumbled dissolving into tears.

"You should of told me, I can help."

"I did tell you...at the beginning but you told me it wasn't my fault then brushed it all away." I frowned at him. "I told you only the other day when we sat with Kate but you all just thought it was Maisie still!" I yelled. It went quiet again.

"Can I see?" He suddenly asked me and the shaking intensified again.

I looked up at him and closed my eyes before I held out one of my arms and pulled at the bandage that was wrapped around it.

He stepped closer and I looked away. He took my hand gently and then looked at my wrist running his thumb up and down the nasty cuts and scars that lined my wrist.

"Anywhere else?" He asked and I held out my other arm. Then he gave me a look and I sighed.

Gently I laid back pulled at my hospital gown until it revealed my stomach and quickly pulled the blanket up over my legs.

"Oh my god." He whispered and I closed my eyes in fear of what he might do and say.

"I'm sorry." I whispered crying quietly. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for it to get this bad." I sobbed into my hand.

"Hey what's up?" Lily said coming into the room and positioning herself next to the bed. "Is everything alright?" She asked.

"She's fine, aren't you?" Richard smiled at me as he pulled at my gown to cover anything up that lily shouldn't have to see.

"I was asking Jenna." Lily scowled.

"Fine yeah." I nodded quickly before he could bite Lily's head off.

"I'm going to get a snack, don't suppose you want anything." He raised his eyebrows at me before leaving me in the hospital bed with Lily by my side.

"Is everything alright with you two?" Lily frowned at me.

"Oh he's, just uh, having a bad day I guess." I sniffed trying desperately to look like I wasn't just balling my eyes out.

"He's having a bad day?" She raised her eyes brows at me. "Tell me what's the matter and please be honest."

"Honest?" I laughed nervously. "I guess he's just a little fed up. I don't feel well all the time and it must be getting on his nerves having to look after me. Even though I don't ask him to."

"But you're not eating properly, yes, we know that's a problem and what it can lead to but you can't say he's angry at you because you don't eat enough? You can't lift things as much." She scoffed. "I don't feel like you're telling me everything."

"I am. I promise." I smiled at her. "It's not big deal, you just saw him at a bad time. He's fine really. Supportive and loving and all that utter shit." I laughed at her.

"Alright. Well as long as you're okay." She smiled squeezing my hand and then sitting back in her wheel chair and laughing.

- - - - -

"These last few months... all the jumpers and vest tops you've been wearing, that's all to cover this huh?" Richard said sitting beside my bed and actually speaking nicely to me for once.

"I was gunna stop."

"We haven't even had sex in that time. I should of bloody known." He sighed, then he took a deep breath and leaned forward towards me and smiled. "Look, before I may have been a little harsh--"

"Ric--"

"No, I'm serious. I am sorry for that, I got so worked up and I took it all out on you. I shouldn't have. I want to help you, promise." He nodded gently.

"I don't know." I laughed. "I can't think of anything that will change how I feel right now. It hurts Richard, really hurts and this...takes that pain away." I explained to him.

"So I heard, really you were found in the public toilet surrounded by a pool of blood. Where was that coming from?" Richard asked invading my privacy straightaway. I did want him to know though.

"Here..." I whispered. Gently I pulled at my top and showed him the freshest scar. "I'm so sorry." I cried again and again. He wrapped an arm around my neck and kissed my cheek gently.

"I alright." He whispered between a few kisses. "We'll get through this, I promise." Richard tried to comfort me but I ended up with him laying next to me on the bed while he stroked my hair and I fell asleep balling my eyes out.

- - - - -

"We've been trying to get her to sleep all day. She must of been exhausted." Victoria smirked as she walked in the room to see Richard hugging Jenna who was laying in a hospital bed asleep.

"She's tired." Richard hummed.

"I could only imagine after the day she's had!" She scoffed.