In Omnia Paratus (AU) - Book 2

Dream or nightmare?

"I realise now Maisie is a little more grown up, how much she looks like you Jen." Richard smiled as we were sorting out some stuff in her room. Just packing up her clothes we'd just bought.

"She looks a tiny bit like you..." I rolled my eyes glancing over at him with a smile plastered on my face.

"Nah, she's all you." Richard stepped closer to me and wrapped his hands around my waist before gently kissing my lips.

"Mama!" Maisie cried from her crib, I walked over and smirked at the girl who was stood up and was slapping the top of the bars. "Mama," she called again reaching out her arms to me.

I bent over and lifted her into my arms. We had gotten used to being woken up at all hours. I most defiantly had gotten used to doing jobs with the girl hanging off my hip.

"Mama," Maisie cried out happily as she set her head down on my collar. I laughed quietly and walked over to Richard. He was sat on the sofa reading a book. He gave a small smirk from behind the pages as Maisie squealed with delight at him. He closed the book and gently threw it under the stairs.

"Hello Maisie," he said. Maisie ducked her head into my shoulder with shyness.

"Mama," she said as she clutched at top. I didn't like it when she did that. I used my free hand to smooth down the brown curls that were appearing at the top of her head.

"Yes Maisie I'm Mama." Clara said with a smile on her face. Maisie hummed in approval, and then she began to babble. It didn't make sense to me, but she looked to Richard who was grinning indefinitely.

"She's babbling again." Richard added,

Maisie interrupted him with a loud shout. She gave a small moan as her hands found the edge of my cardigan; they gripped the material before Maisie brought it up to her mouth to chew it.

"Someone's hungry," Richard murmured, gesturing a Maisie. He wasn't very helpful with thing other than stating the fact.

I looked down at Maisie and groaned. "It's like she thinks im edible. Come on you, let's get you some food before you eat me." I smiled at Maisie before exciting the room to the kitchen.

"Richard!" I screamed at the top of my voice.

"What? What is it?" He leaped up and ran through to the kitchen to find me stood there throughly distressed.

"I put Maisie down and then-- I turned away and looked back again and she's gone." I cried out in complete frustration and confusing. It was like none of this made sense.

"Jenna?" Richard simply said.

"I'm a bad mother." I called out as he wrapped his arms around me. "How am I even considered mother if I can't even keep my own daughter safe?" Richard didn't say anything, I just remember crying and crying. Blaming myself and collapsing and breaking down like completely loosing her all over again.

- - - - -

"Jenna?" Richard smiled as I suddenly woke up in bed next to him, I quickly remembered that I had asked him to stay last night and totally forgot what was going on, I had a mini freak out.

"Oh god Richard." I rubbed my forehead.

"Are you alright? You were uh crying..." He pokes his finger out and brushed my cheek where some tears had fallen.

"Just a dream," I said sitting up against the back of the bed.

"Not a nightmare?" Richard asked.

"It just felt so real for a moment." I clutched his hand smiling.

"I got the gist of what it was about, you um, talk in your sleep." Richard smirked.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

"No it's alright. I get to remember what it was like to be with you. It actually calmed me down for once and stopped giving me nightmares." Richard said copying me and sitting up against the back of the bed.

"You have nightmares too?" I asked turning to him slightly.

"When we lost Maisie, I was affected by it too." Richard rolled his eyes. Why was he always so light hearted on serious matters? It did bother me. Everything was always a joke with him.

"I dream a different way of loosing her each night. Some don't even make sense." I mumbled.

"Now that is perfectly normal." He told me, which for once actually made me feel better. "It's just your way of dealing with things. Bad dreams are...just that. Bad dreams. The point is you'll wake up."

"Reality isn't all that much better than those dreams." I told him.

"Of course it is." He smirked getting out of bed, obviously in desperate need for the loo or something because we were kind of having a serious conversation for once and he just got up and left.

- - - - -

"You ready to go?" Richard asked as he finished putting a few things in the car and then coming back into the house where I was putting on my jacket and getting ready to leave for the hospital.

"Yeah, are you sure you want to do this? I can get a bus to the hospital." I complained feeling a complete idiot for making him come down here with me and suffer through this with me.

"Then how would you get back to Ashford?" He mocked as I got into the car next to him.

"Another bus or train." I mumbled.

"Ugh hours on public transport. You hate that." He glanced across at me as we made our way to the hospital with a few things for dad and Rachel.

"Yeah but I don't have a car so get over it." I laughed.

"You passed like over a year ago I swear! Just save up your fancy modelling money and buy a car." Richard complained.

"I wouldn't know what car to get, what colour, what size and that stress is just not needed right now, I mean if Maisie was still here I almost definitely would have bought a car but there's not much need anymore." I explained to Richard.

"Fair enough." He smirked.