[[Fuckboy]]

-5-

My eyes were staring boredly at the projection screen right in front of us. I really wish this fucking documentary about whales would end. I sighed, as I pulled out my phone and started editing one of my selfies. But a quiet screeh of the chair in front of me made me sick. I knew who this was.

He sat backwards in the chair with a smug grin, "miss me?"he whispered.

I rolled my eyes out of defense.  I felt a blush coming on but I ignored it, "we aren't friends anymore, Vic." I said to him, getting annoyed now. He knows what happened.

He dropped his act, and looked at me with pleasing eyes, "Just tell me how you've been, at least."
I tore my eyes away from him, had he been working out? I looked down at my paper, "I'm not talking to you.." I mumbled.

"You just did."

I scoffed, finally looking up at Vic, "you're such a fuckboy. Leave me alone." I seethed, I wanted mothing to do with him after what happened before summer.

~before summer~

We were sitting in Vic's room and staring up at his ceiling, as Greenday played form his speaker. I turned to him, his eyes were closed, as his brown hair fell gracefully beside him. His arms were crossed behind his head. I wanted to say it now and get it over with, but the words weren't coming up, I hesitated. It was two things. I wanted to start wearing more feminine clothes, I was gay, and I liked him. Okay, so three things..gah, this was so frustrating! Why couldn't I just tell him how I felt in that moment? Why was I so awkward? I was never this awkward at school or anything, VIc and I were both in the popular group. I just wanted to start hanging out with the girls because I could relate to them more and- oh god I need to get out of here..I can't tell Vic, I just can't.

"Kellin." it was Vic's voice, and it broke me from my thoughts. He had been looking at me already, and I felt my cheeks going warm, he smirked slightly, "dude you're totally blushing, what's with you?"

I sighed, "I-I have to tell you something.." I spoke, as I sat up, crossing my arms over my chest.

He then got up, and was right next to me, and he mimicked my position absently, "we're bestfriends, Kellin, you can tell me literally anything...what's up?"

I couldn't look at him, it was too awkward for me, "Vic..I.."

"Yeah?"

"I..I have a crush on you."

Shock went all over his face, and he uncrossed his arms, blinking twice, "oh..you're..gay?"

"Is that a problem?" I asked, my voice suddenly laced with attitude.

"Yeah, kinda...I mean, no- I mean..so you have feelings for me?"

"Yeah."

"Wha..how..no wait why-"

"You know what, if you're just going to question things, i'm leaving." I said, as I got up from his bed.

"Well you can't just fucking say shit like that to me and expect me to not react or ask any questions, dude!" Vic yelled at me, I couldn't read his facial expression, it was blurry. He was breathing uneven, and he raked a hand through his wavy hair, "look, I just need some time to sort this out."

I laughed dryly, "figure what out? I already told you that i'm fucking gay and I like you!"

"I know, I just-"

"Just what? What else do you need to fucking think about, Vic-"

"I don't know if I like you back or not!" he shouted, as he kicked a football against his wall. I flinched at the noise, and I shook my head with tears streaming down my face. What was I even expecting? This was a huge mistake, anyway. I shouldn't have done this at all.

"Oh my god, fuck this friendship!" I yelled at him, as I slammed his door, and ran out of his room, through the hall, and back outside to where my car was parked. As I then proceeded to get inside, I heard Vic call after me but I didn't care. I was done with him, I wanted whatever friendship we had? To just die. I felt so broken, like my entire world was collapsing. I hated this feeling.