Being friends with Lorena

40// not like you

The drive was silent all the way to Lorena's, it was pretty awkward but it made me feel calm knowing she was at least beside me and not anyone else, even if we weren't on good terms.

"Well thank you for the ride" she said unclipping her belt, "you really didn't have too."

"It's fine" I said looking forward, "I don't want anything happening to you."

"You care about me?" She asked surprised.

"Of course I do" I rolled my eyes, "It's not like I can turn shit off that I don't want to feel, he was a dick for not giving you his helmet."

"He isn't that bad" she said in a mock tone,

"Whatever" I shrugged, " if you're purposely out to get at me, it's working."

"Get at you?" She asked, "why is everything always about you? I like Adam, he's nice, he cares about me-"

I snapped, grabbing her arm and pulling it to my back so she was now leaning over towards me, she looked surprised but her eyes flickered with something else that I couldn't read.

"Don't play with me" I said lowly, her lips inches away from mine. She also noticed the proximity between us and her breathing become ragged. "You like Adam the same way you like me?" I asked her still holding her arm in place.

"You sound jealous" she smiled slightly pleased with herself, "you jealous baby?"

I stared at her, letting her hand go. She was playing with my emotions, I stared straight ahead allowing silence to fill the car, before she spoke again.

"You can't be jealous Nathan,"

"Oh really?" I asked casually, "I got it twisted for a second, but believe me. I'll get over it, I'll get over you" I leant over and open the passenger door.

"Why are you like this? Ive told you I like you" she said, "does that not mean anything?"

"No" I said harshly, "you can go now, don't forget to call Adam later."

I sounded like a girl now, I was sounding half desperate and I hated myself for allowing her to make me feel like that, words came out my mouth without me even realising it. She still didn't answer the question whether she liked Adam the same way she liked me, but it didn't matter right now. I needed to get away from her before I did something I'd regret.

"So we just ignore each other?" She asked, "like before we even met? You go around and act like I don't even exist?"

"Damn right" I said gripping the steering wheel, "you can go back to playing games with Ava and Kaycie. How else did you think it was going to end? When was you going to break it to me? When I was in love with you? When you was my girlfriend? When?!"

"I- I don't know" she shrugged, "I was enjoying it, I enjoyed being with you. I told them so many times that I couldn't do it but I couldn't risk loosing you."

"Loosing Me" I repeated sarcastically,

"You done shit too, you hurt me too Nathan" Lorena said climbing out the car, "I've cried so many times over you."

"And I'm sorry, I'm not a bad person" I said sympathetically, "I don't go around intending to hurt people... I'm not like you."

She stared at me, taking in what I said before I backed out of her driveway and onto the main road.

Jesus I needed to get drunk.