Being friends with Lorena

60// Bye

It was pretty awkward once we were inside,  Lorena didn't sit,  she just stood staring at me. I didn't say anything either, I made my way over to the bathroom and took a better look at my lip, yeah he really did get me bad. I wiped it with the towel causing me to half hiss at the pain, I stood up straight leaning on the bathroom door and glancing down the hall at Lorena.

"So you just gonna stand there?" I asked half sarcastically, "Do you want a drink?"

"I think you've had enough actually,  I just want to make sure you're alright" Lorena answered witty as hell.

"Why so concerned? You're basically moving across the country to get away from me" I replied,

She rolled her eyes at my response,  "Shutup Nathan."

"You are,  I mean jesus christ-"

"You're the one who invited me here!" Lorena snapped composing herself against my window pane in the corner of the room, the room we spent so much time together in.

"I don't know what you want me to say anymore" I said lowly, "We've both fucked this up, but you're shifting that all onto me Lorena."

"I want you to tell me how you feel, what you feel- if anything at all" she shrugged, her words stung harshly. Did she not think I felt anything?

"I told you I loved you Lorena, what more is there to say? You want me to physically get on my knees and beg you?" I said in frustration as I approached her.

She stiffened as I reached her, "No" she answered. I wasn't sure if that was the answer to my question or whether she didn't want me near her. She sighed heavily and leant into me, wrapping her arms around my waist, it was me that stiffened. I was sure the breath had been taken from my chest as I felt her hands rest on my back.

"Don't leave me " I said loud enough for her to hear." I'll sort it with Adam, I swear he'll never go near you again."

She didn't say anything for a minute, it seemed like an eternity to me as I even bent down to check she was even awake, as if she could fall to sleep standing up. Her eyes full of confusion, they gleamed with some kind of hope that maybe she would stay after all. I didn't want to press her for any answer right now, but I was dying for her to say something, anything.

"I do really love you " I stuttered out really hoping I wouldn't get rejected or ignored.

"I love you too Nathan" Lorena replied quickly making me instantly smile as her grip onto me tightened. "But sometimes I wish I didn't."

That was it, the fight was over. Those words hurt me more than anything I'd ever heard or felt before. Even finding out that she lied, I could deal with that - I forgave that. This, I couldn't. She wished she didn't? Was i really that bad of a guy?

She sensed that she pissed me off as I pulled away slightly reaching for my phone and dialling out for a taxi.

"Nathan?" she questioned as I pulled the phone to my ear, I ignored her the best I could as I ordered her a car, and the guy told me he'd be there in a minute or two. I could almost feel the tears threatening to well up in my eyes and I felt even more pathetic than ever as she gave me a look of pity as I placed the phone on the table.

"Nathan, say something" Lorena folded her arms giving me that usual attitude tone that always laced her voice when she spoke to me, I was sure to miss it.

"I'm sorry that you wish you didn't love me" I said closing my eyes and turning to the window, "I'll make this damn easier for you, I hope you have a really nice time with Gabriel. I hope you find a boyfriend who you actually want to fall in love with, something who you think is actually worthy enough of your love."

I was half surprised at my own words as they spilled out without warning, I meant every word of them but nether the less made me sound like a hormonal bitch.

"I didn't mean it-"

"Save it Lorena, I mean jesus" I raised my voice this time making her jump slightly, "Aren't you tired of this on-off shit? Because I am, you've made it clear and I respect that."

She went to speak again, but I cut her off quickly." Your cab is outside" I spoke blunt, "Bye Lorena."

I heard her spin on her heel as I said the last part, closing my eyes I almost had to clasp my mouth shut to stop me saying anything else.

" Bye" She said softly as I heard the door click and the sound of silence again.

That was the last time I'd ever see her.