•The Demon Inside• Brendon Urie X Reader

'Chapter seventeen'

Brendons POV

I still sat in the cave. I didn't dare to go out. She had to go. As much as it hurt. I couldn't keep her near me. Not with this hunger. I needed to eat. And I didn't want to eat her. I didn't fight against the feeling of love anymore. It won. But now she's gone. I'm probably the first demon with a broken heart.

I felt empty. I felt nothing. I felt alone. I breathed slowly. I could go back to eat something. Usually there are some leftovers. Or I'll just steal some meat. I didn't want to leave the cave but I had to go before its daytime. So I went out and back to the subwaystation.

As I went in some demons who saw me the last days with (y/n) looked at me weirdly because normally I wouldn't look so down. But I didn't feel like being heroic or something. I went straight to my room. Even ignoring Dallon, who tried to talk to me.

I closed the door behind me and sat on the ground. I hold my head in my hands and sighed. She's really gone. I won't see her again. What if she calls the cops? They won't believe her. My stomach hurt because of hunger, I went to my fridge. There were bags with blood but no meat. I went put again to get some.

Dallon stopped me this time. "Brendon, what's wrong?", he said. I was surprised that he even cared. "Nothin' ", I lied and proceeded walking. "Where's the girl?", he asked then. I didn't answer. "Brendon?", he asked again, but I kept ignoring him. Hoping he would leave me alone. Luckily Kenny came and needed his help, so he left.

I got to the big butcher room. There were lying some arms and stuff. One arm should be enough for now. I took one without anyone noticing and went back to my room. I ate it without any emotions. I felt so empty. As I finished I got up and went to the bathroom.

*trigger warning!!!* skip this part. I will leave another note when you can keep on reading!

I needed to shave. As I got the razor I remembered the scars I saw on some of my victims or on the ones which we found dead. Did the thing they did help? I don't feel very alive tonight and I feel guilty. Maybe I should try it. Why not.

I smashed the razor and took one of the blades. It shined in the light. It was so small, compared to my claws when I would have them, but the blade was probably much sharper. I lowered the blade onto my arm. I hesitated for a bit before I pushed down. It stung a little but not too much. I pressed down even more. Blood was flowing. I drew a line on my arm and it begun to bleed. It didn't satisfy me though so I added more. On my arm and wrist. In the end there were about 15 cuts. Some were pretty deep some not so much. I let the blood run down in the sink. I was so dumb. Why did I do all these things?

I bandaged my arm with the things I had in my wardrobes when the bleeding got weaker. I put a long sleeve shirt on and cleaned the bloody mess I've left.

*warning end*

I sat on my sofa and just breathed calmly. I began to think about (y/n) and my eyes got wet. I blinked a few times but it wasn't helping. What is that? Why are my eyes wet? The weird liquid flowed down my cheeks and dropped on my pants. I touched it and tried to smell something. That had never happened before. I tasted. It was salty. It didn't stop flowing in waves. Salty waves.

Then I remembered what it could be. Tears. I heard that before from humans. But why did I have tears. I started gulping and breathing faster. The salty waves got stronger and stronger. They didn't stop. While that was happening I felt something in my chest. I haven't felt that for quite a while.

This is the beat of my heart.

A/N: Okay, im already sorry for that. Really. I hope you all are okay. I'm sorry I let Brendon go through this.
Also thank you all for the nice comments and for the like 300 reads :)