•The Demon Inside• Brendon Urie X Reader

'Chapter forty one'

Your POV

When I woke up I could hear Brendon breathing beside me. He was still sleeping. I tried not to move too hard. I leaned forward slowly. Ryan was looking out of the window and Dallon was still driving. I tipped on Ryans shoulder and he spun around. He looked at me in shock but as soon as he saw that it was me he smiled. "You should be sleeping.", he whispered. I raised an eyebrow. "Come on. You're the one who should sleep!", I whispered back. But smiled then too.

Dallon turned around too for a second. "Morning.", then he yawned. He looked pretty tired too. "Do you want to take a break?", Ryan asked. He shook his head. "I'm fine.", he said yawning again. "Well, maybe a bit tired but neither of you know how to drive, right? And Brendon is sleeping.", he said looking at the road. Ryan and I nodded. I turned to Brendon and saw that he was sleeping tightly. I didn't want to wake him up. But Dallon needed some sleep. And Ryan didn't understand how those cars work. He had looked weirdly at my phone before too. There wasn't another way, except waking Brendon up.

I shook him lightly but he just mumbled something and turned around again. I tried it a few more times but it didn't seemed to work. When I looked back to the front Dallon looked like he was about to fall asleep at any second. I shook Brendon again. Then I began to say random things into his ear. I had done that when I was a child and sometimes my parents or grandparents waked up when I said one specific word. I began with the usual: fire, I'm dying, a murderer. All these things. He didn't seem to react. Then I tried everyday words. Eventually I got to stuff in the kitchen. "Apple, fridge, sausage, cheese, milk." Brendon woke up immediately and sat up straight. I could see that Ryan tensed up too. Brendon looked at me in shock looking like he wanted to ask something. I was confused. "Wow, uh, okay so that's your code word. Uh... I wonder why....?", I said then and he immediately answered. "Doesn't matter at all." Then he just looked out of the window. Ryan had done the same. I was still confused but I decided to ask more later.

"Brendon, could you drive for a bit? Dall on is pretty tired. That's the reason I woke you up. ", I explained and he nodded. Dallon stopped the car and they exchanged places. I sat behind Brendon now and gave Dallon the whole blanket. I wasn't tired anymore. I leaned forward and crawled Brendons neck with one hand. He seemed to appreciate it because I could feel him smile. I looked out of the window into the dark night. I wondered how long I slept. Probably not long. But in cars I couldn't sleep long anyways.

It was fullmoon. I could see how it lit up the scenery. There were forests and a little lake next to the small road. All was silent and nothing moved. Just the trees swung a bit with the wind. It was so beautiful. "I wish the moon would stay up there forever.", I mumbled. I wasn't aware of the fact that I said it out loud though. "Hey moon, please forget to fall down. Hey moon, don't you go down." All of the sudden Brendon and Ryan began to sing these few words and it sounded so amazing. I smiled at them. It was more of a humming than singing and the bass tunes in both of their voices went through my whole body. It sounded great.

I looked back outside. I got lost in thought while doing that. I recalled everything that had happened the last days. It made me sad to think about the fact that Brendon did cut but it made me even sadder that it was my fault. I should've stayed with him right away. That wouldn't have happened then. It would have been the best. I already knew that I loved him back then. And at home only a few people missed me. I could've said that I would come back at least. But no, I didn't. And I broke his heart. I went into a deep void of thinking starting with that.

After a while a felt a tap on my shoulder and was back in reality. It was already sunny outside. For how long was I lost in thought? I looked down and saw that I had loosened the bandages around my arms. Not only that. I had scratched too.Nothing was bleeding luckily, but there were red parts. Goddammit. I looked up again and saw Dallon looking at me in concern. His eyes looked at my wrist for a bit but fastly they were connected with mine again. "Are you alright?", he asked then a bit worried. Ryan turned to me now too. Brendon had to watch the road but was watching me every now and then through the side mirror. Ryan looked down to my arms and bandages. I quickly pulled the sleeves over it. "What is that?", he asked worried. "Nothing, I'm fine.", I said quickly and looked back out of the window. I could see that Brendon was driving to the side and stopped. Fuck. I didn't want to talk now. I didn't want Ryan to see or know either. I'm a failure of a reincarnation.

Brendon opened the door on my side and crouched down. Ryan got all around the car too. "Is everything alright?", Brendon asked again taking my hands in his. I wanted to pull away but could stop myself. I saw Brendon looking at Dallon behind me. Then he looked shocked. What had Dallon done. I turned around and saw the he pointed to his own wrist. When he saw that I recognised that he lowered his head. Before I could turn around again I felt my sleeves being pushed up. In reflex I pulled my arms away. Brendon looked at me worried and suprised. He still held his hands out begging. After some seconds I let him look at my arms again.

He pushed up the sleeves fully and revealed the bandages. Ryan looked at it shocked and I looked to the ground the whole time. Brendon began to remove the bandages revealing all my scars plus the red spots I had done to myself without paying attention. Ryan took a few steps back and gasped. I looked at him through my hair and he looked like he was about to cry. Brendon hugged me then and I hugged him back tightly. "Why did you do that?", he whispered in my ear. "I don't know. I was lost in thought...", I mumbled into his shoulder. "What we're you thinking about?", he asked softly. I tried to speak but instead tears began to fill my eyes. I closed them and hoped they wouldn't flow but I couldn't stop it. Brendon stroked my back and didn't ask more. Ryan still was in shock and I could feel another hand on my shoulder. Probably Dallons.

When Brendon let go of me Ryan rushed over and hugged me too. I could feel him shiver and breathing unevenly. He was really shocked. I hugged him back. I could kinda stop to cry luckily. [I didn't want my make up to be all messed up.] When Ryan let go of me I could see how smiered his eyeliner was. [Mine probably looked similar.] I tried to cheer the others up by saying. "Now you look really emo.", but instead of a chuckle I was given a worried and angry look of Ryan. I mouthed a sorry then and received another hug of Ryan. "You need to tell us why you did it.", he said then and let go of me. "Someday you have to.", he said and got up and around the car. Brendon got to the back of the car and pulled out some snacks. Some of them human flesh and other things like chips and chocolate. He handed me one chocolate bar and I smiled at him. We all sat back inside and Brendon started to drive again. Eventually Dallon began to sleep again. I wasn't aware that he was so tired.

"You should listen to the other albums now." I didn't recognised that Dallon was awake again but he suddenly spoke. I nodded and searched for the CDs. "This one is the newest, right?", I asked then and Brendon nodded and put it in the slot. The first song started with heartbeats. Brendon voice was really soft in this song. But in the refrain it changed. It was so strong. As if it could raise you out of your grave again. I loved it. It was amazing! "That one is great!", I said and tried to sing along the chorus the second time it came on. Then the heartbeat faded away and the song was over. The rest of the songs were more emotional then the ones on vices in my opinion. At least they sounded a bit more sad. But I liked it very much.

"I wish I had those songs on my phone too.", I sighed. Ryan looked at me weirded out. "Songs on a phone?? You have a phone?", he asked me. I chuckled. "I'll try to explain the newest technic later to you. Now I want to listen to the next CDs!", i said eager and picked the one called 'Pretty.Odd.'. It sounded good to me.

After a while of listening there was the same lyric line that the boys had sung yesterday. "Hey moon, please forget to fall down. Hey moon, don't you go down." I smiled when I heard that. I loved how every album had their own style. That was pretty cool!

We drove a little bit further until we made a toilet break on a gas station again.

A/N: I put everything that isn't sure like make up in these brackets [...] so if it doesn't fit for you you can just not read it ^^