An Outlet

11 June, 2017.

Today was all about 'learning' how to ride a scooter.

I put learning in inverted commas because for some reason I just cannot get a hang of riding it.

A few days ago, I got a call from my driving school that my final driver's licence test was on the 13th of this month, ie. two days from now. I panicked but my driver told me that I need not worry about the car driving part. They'll handle it. I have no idea how they are going to manage that but I'll take their word for it.

But today, I realised that I was so focused on learning to drive the car that I forgot that I have given a license application for two vehicles! I completely forgot about the scooter!

I had tried riding one a couple of months back but was unsuccessful. And now I had no option but to learn it in less than two days. Fuck.

Alex has been riding a scooter since the past 4 months now so he was sorted. He asked me to get my ass out and put it on the scooter. I tried riding in our small building compound itself.

I couldn't. I just couldn't. I tried my best to balance the scooter but I fumbled after every two seconds. He then suggested that we take the scooter on the lane. I don't know why but I got very self-conscious. I am an 18 year old who still can't ride a scooter. People younger than me on the lane can do so and they are 3-4 years younger to me. I thought I would be a laughing topic if I tried to ride on the lane and failed.

So I gave up. I got super angry, felt ashamed and I just left.

I cried a lot after coming back home. I don't know what Amanda might have thought about me at that point. But I seriously felt like a failure. I knew I was never going to be able to ride or drive any vehicle.

Such a petty thing to cry about but I couldn't help it.

Amanda tried to cheer me up. We played a lot of card games and then looked up on sites where we could get the right shades of nailpolish that Amanda wanted as her birthday gift. She successfully calmed me down.

She left in the evening and after she left, dad came up to me and asked me if I wanted to give the scooter another chance. I have always felt safe whenever dad is around so I said yes.

It was a bit dark by this time so I felt less consious.

My dad is such a sweetheart. You know how when you first start riding your cycle, your parents hold the back seat and run along with the vehicle so that you don't lose balance? That's what dad for me. It might have been hilarious to watch but this shows at what lengths is my dad ready to go to make me feel comfortable.

Love you dad!