Limerence {Joshler} [COMPLETED]

31.roof

"Joshua, what's wrong!? Is he okay?" Brendon soon followed after Joshua when he noticed the commotion. Joshua stopped and turned, "No, can you grab our coats please, I need to get him outside."
Brendon nodded, reading Joshua's face. He sprinted off quickly to get their coats and ran back to Joshua, who was waiting in the hallway, in just seconds. Joshua took the coats from Brendon in his hand.

"You want me to go with you? I can-", Brendon started, but Joshua shook his head. "Thanks Bren, but I messed up so I have to make it right." Brendon nodded, just squeezing Joshua's arm reassuringly. "Text or call me when you need anything, me and the guys will get our gear."

Brendon headed back to the club, Joshua just standing there with Tyler still in his arms. He was getting a bit heavy by now. He walked to the elevator quickly , getting out on the third floor, and then walking up the last stairs to the roof.

He clumbsily pushed the door open with his hip, after pressing the handle down with his elbow. The cold winter wind made Joshua shiver and Tyler hugged him tightly. "I know. I'm sorry I'll get you in your coat I a second", Joshua mumbled as he sat down near the edge of the building.

He had been here so often when he was 16 or 17 years old, always watching the bands perform downstairs and then sneaking up to the roof. There was a little maintainence building with a small overhang. He used to sit here, back against the wall, watching the city at night and the sky full of stars covering it. He loved to see whatever shapes he could discover.

Joshua sat down, gently setting Tyler upright in between his legs. First he quickly got into his own coat before he leaned back against the wall. He pulled Tyler closer, the boy sitting between Joshua's legs, laying flush against Joshua's chest. He gently swung Tyler's legs over his right thigh and covered the boy with his thick wintercoat as a blanket. 

He pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around him and Tyler just nuzzled his face into Joshua's chest. The feeling of guilt weighed heavy on Joshua's heart.

"I'm so sorry Ty..."

The boy still didn't answer, but the sobbing had stopped and his fists were clamped in Joshua's shirt firmly.

Joshua bumped the back of his head into the wall repeatedly, angry, frustrated. He just started talking, muttering, not really intended tot be heard by anyone. "I'm so sorry, baby. I shouldn't have forced you to come with me. I only wanted to show you what I love to do. I want to show you everything. I wanted you to just be with me. Just having you here with me made everything better." He sighed. "But I messed up. And I can't tell you how sorry I am, but I promise I will never ever ever let that happen again. Ever."

He pulled Tyler impossibly closer and kissed atop his head. "I didn't realize enough how bad your anxiety can get. I'm such an idiot."
It remained silent.
"Please Ty, say something. Are you in pain? Do you feel better? Are you angry? Do you want to go home?"

"Y-you d-didn't force m-me." A soft, croaky voice could only just be heard.
"But I-." "I-it's n-not your f-fault J-Joshua. The c-crowd j-just overwhelmed me and I-I couldn't b-breath and I c-couldn't f-find you a-anymore."

Joshua just rubbed his back softly. "I feel so stupid. What can I do to make you feel better?"
"Just t-this", Tyler answered while sneaking his hands underneath Joshua's coat and around his waist. Joshua sighed contently, letting his head rest against the wall and closing his eyes for a while, just cuddled up together for some minutes of silence.

"D-did you m-mean a-all you s-said?" Tyler questioned after maybe 15 minutes. "T-that y-you want me w-with you a-all the t-time?"
Joshua didn't have to think twice. "Yes."
"Really?"

Joshua gently pushed Tyler off of him, forcing him to look into his eyes. "I meant every word Tyler. And i'm gonna make you believe it, and I won't mess up again. All I want is to see you happy and see that gorgeous smile. I will never put you in a situation like this ever again."

Tyler smiled softly, cuddling back up into Joshua's strong arms. "I-I like y-you Joshua. L-like a l-lot." He mumbled shyly. "I-I feel b-bit b-better now."
Joshua smiled, watching his fingers run through thick brown hair, the pieces of his heart slowly melting back together. "Good. Because I like you a lot too."