Limerence {Joshler} [COMPLETED]

92.closed

It was two weeks into Tyler's holidays and he didn't remember ever being this... relaxed. He wasn't as stressed as he used to be. Always.

A weight was lifted off his shoulders when everything with Dallon happened. And even though he was extremely glad it was over, he still felt a little guilty too.

He wasn't sure if he should feel guilty, or not. It wasn't like he had ever done Dallon any wrong, and the boy had made his schoolyears an absolute hell. He'd been beaten and abused and he hadn't even so much as ever punched Dallon back. Still, he felt like it wasn't 'right' like this. Even though he fully understood Joshua's desperate actions back then, the only last thing he could come up with to make it all stop, it worried him.

Tyler had a big heart, big empathy. And no matter how much Dallon had stepped on him, chewed him and spit him out, kicked him, broke him, he still didnt really want Dallon to go through the same?

——

"Hey baby!" Joshua almost sang as he stepped into his own home, where Tyler was just making cold drinks in the kitchen. The boy had jumped up when he got the text of Joshua saying he was off from work and coming home. He wanted to surprise his boyfriend with a nice, cool drink after a hot day at the store with no airconditioning.

Joshua smiled when he stepped into the kitchen and found Tyler there, the boy smiling back softy. "H-hey Joshie", he held up two full glasses of colorful drinks on ice, "look".
"Hmm, looks delicious", Joshua smiled, kissing Tylers cheek. "I'll go change quickly, i'm gross. Can we sit out back?" Tyler nodded, carrying the drinks to the outside terrace.

He sat the drinks down on the table, placing himself on the lounge sofa overlooking Joshua's backyard. It was only a minute later Joshua showed up in shorts and a plain white fitted shirt and dropped himself next to Tyler. He chuckled. "Best decision I made in a long, long time." Tyler frowned a little. "Giving you a key to my house. Honestly, there's nothing better then coming home to you after a day at work." He smiled and kissed Tyler briefly.

A key to his house. It still made Tyler feel warm and fuzzy inside, remembering when Joshua gave it to him. First only for convenience. But in no time it was just for every day use. They didnt actually live together, Tylers mom wouldnt just let him sleep over every night, but since it was holiday time now, she gave in a little.

"Oh, I almost forgot", Joshua suddenly remembered and walked back inside, only to come back out a couple of seconds later with an envelope. "Your mom just gave me this when I got back, she was going to bring it to you."
He handed it to Tyler.

"F-for me?"
Joshua shrugged. Obviously it was for Tyler and he didnt know what it was about either. Slightly nervous, Tyler opened it and unfolded the paper, apparently a handwritten letter.

Tyler,

I understand this must be very unexpected, and probably you hoped to never hear from me again. I promise you, after this, you won't. Do with this letter whatever you please, I just hope you're willing to read through it. I won't make it long.

The biggest and most important thing for me to tell you, and I shouldve done so years ago, is sorry. I'm so, so, so incredibly sorry. I wont say I didnt realize what I was doing, no excuses. I know it doesn't change a thing but I hope you can believe me when I say i'm really so deeply sorry for making your teenage years a hell. For making a place like school a terrifying, unsafe place. For hurting you. For involving the people you love. For making you doubt yourself. For everything wrong I ever did to you.

I think, I hope, you know it was never your fault. You never did anything wrong. I did. I was a monster. Am. My deepest apologies for every litte bit of physical or mental pain I caused you.

Your boyfriend (which i'm happy you have, you deserve everything and for as far as i can tell he can give it to you) was right. I was struggling, because I wanted you. He was so right. I fell for you, so fast, and I wanted you and I couldn't have you. Not that you'd probably even ever wanted me, but in my life being gay was unthinkable.

My father wouldnt accept it. I wont go into detail about how he took care of it, I deserved everything he did. Maybe not for being gay, but definitely for what I did to you. I did exactly what my father did, and it is horrible.
When your boyfriend confronted my father he was furious. Called me every word I have been calling you for years. He was disgusted, as I have always made you feel.

It kills me to know I did that.

Anyway, I said I wouldn't make this long so I won't. I just wanted to make sure you would get my honest apologies. I hope you will be alright, I hope whatever I did hasnt damaged you forever. I wish you and Joshua all the best, once again, i'm so sorry.

For if you want to know, i'm going to a new school next year. My mom eventually couldn't handle my father's extreme hateful behaviour and stood up for me. It'll be tough, it's an extreme strict boarding school, specialized in teens with whatever type of behavioural problems. Its where I need to be.

I wish you and your loved ones all the best. You're a good guy Tyler, I hope your life without me will take an immediate turn for the best.

Dallon.

Tyler was speechless. Absolutely speechless. "What was it, hun? Who is it from?" Joshua asked, as he had let Tyler read it first, observing his face while reading the letter word by word.
Tyler didnt respond as he read the letter again. And again.

I was struggling, because I wanted you. He was so right. I fell for you, so fast, and I wanted you and I couldn't have you.

I'm so, so, so incredibly sorry.

Tyler swallowed, before eventually a tiny smile crept up his face. It made Joshua even more curious, somehow after the long silence not expecting a smile.

"It... I-its from Dallon", he then spoke softly. "He a-apologizes."  He smiles bigger now and Joshua was confused about Tylers reaction. Before he could ask if he could read the letter, Tyler dropped it and launched forward, swinging his arms around Joshua's neck and hugging him tight.

Joshua just closed his arms around his boyfriend and pulled him even closer. "I-i'm so relieved", Tyler whispered. "This was e-exactly what I wanted." He practically giggled when he pulled back from the hug. He smiled big towards Joshua. "I... I feel s-so much better now!" Joshua laughed, and he didnt even care so much what was in the letter. Anything that caused Tyler to be this happy was welcome.

"I c-couldnt stop thinking a-about what would happen to Dallon", he spoke softly, grabbing the letter back from the floor. "And I wasn't sure why, I m-mean I shouldve been happy he w-was gone, but I was worried."
Joshua nodded. He understood. As much as Tyler had hated Dallon, the idea of him being hurt by his dad just because of being gay hit home, and even though Dallon was the problem, he didnt want that. Joshua had struggled with what he did to make the abuse stop, unsure because they didnt know how things would go for Dallon. How bad it would be. He didnt regret what he did, but he wasn't proud of it either.

"Here", Tyler spoke and pushed the letter into Joshua's hands. He waited patiently for Joshua to read it. He didnt wait for any response he just grabbed it, put it back in the envelope, closed it and put it on the table. Joshua watched him curiously.

"S-so. That's all over n-now."

It was like he closed the book. As if the last page had been lost for a while and he never fully got to finish the story, but now that he did the story ended. Over. Done. Gone.
He smiled again, as he turned towards Joshua. He bravely leaned forward, kissing his boyfriend happily, a few times before seeing Joshua's lips turn into an unstoppable smile. So Tyler just did it again, then laughing, full on laughing when he then sat back.
He looked at Joshua while he nudged the olders hand, to hold his own.
"I'm happy."

(Not the end yet, but soon we say goodbye to these boys. But not today!)