Limerence {Joshler} [COMPLETED]

68.over

Warmth left the boys hand, and immediatly a freezing cold hit his skin. He moved his fingers, his hand, realizing soon enough Joshua's hand was gone and he had nothing to hold. His heart started pumping faster from that second, panic creeping up his spine. He tried to take a deep breath, but his chest was tight and his lungs wouldn't cooperate with him. He turned, he turned and looked up, exactly the same way he had been doing all night, checking if Joshua was still there, smiling. He had been all night. Now all that Tyler saw was a big black nothing. Joshua wasn't there.

It took panic another few seconds to reach his brain, but when it did, it took over immediatly. The boy's throat closed, his blurred eyes shooting frantically across the room. All he saw was people. So many. So big. So close. He couldn't breathe. "Joshua?" His voice was shaky, soft, and nobody heard. Not Joshua, not anyone else. Only the people got closer, bumping against his shoulders, moving and singing loud. Tyler was overwhelmed. He couldn't breathe. "Joshua?" He tried again. Louder. More desperate. Nothing. More people bumped into him, knocking more air out of his lungs, air he couldn't get back in. All he saw was shoulders, head, backs, arms, people, no air, no air.

"JOSHUA!?" He tried one last desperate time. Still nothing. He dropped down to the floor, his chest heaving and fighting for oxygen. He pulled up his knees, forehead resting on top of them, hands clutched strongly into his own hair, scratching his scalp. Feet kicked him. Knees poked. People were annoyed. People didn't care. He couldn't breathe.
"Joshua!?
Please!?
You promised! You promised!
You promised... you and me" he whispered.

——

"Ty?"
Nothing.

"Tyler!?"
Still nothing.

"Tyler, wake up!" Joshua spoke loudly now, shaking the boy a bit because he was now slightly panicking because of how Tyler was breathing. Or not breathing.
Tyler woke up with a loud gasp. He sat up with force, clutching the bed sheets into his fists, his knuckles completely white. His eyes shot across the room in panic, there was nothing, absolutely nothing he recognized. His chest hurt, his lungs too. His eyes kept shifting until they found something he knew. Someone he knew.

The panic dissolved slowly, his eyes fixated on Joshua's. The mans hands cupped his cheeks and his lips moved, but Tyler couldn't hear. Joshua's eyes represented stress, panic, concern and Tyler just watched his lips move, his eyes darting over Tylers face and thumbs brushing over cheekbones. Slowly his heartrate eased down, his breathing evened out and his hearing returned.

"Baby, can you hear me?" Joshua asked in concern, eyes desperately searching for any type of response. Eventually Tylers mouth closed, and he nodded softly. "Y-yeah."
"Oh my god", Joshua sighed, his hands still on the boy's cheeks, his head hanging down and his breathing heavy from the panic. Joshua took a deep breath before looking back at Tyler. "Are you okay? What happened?" He gazed into Tyler's still wet eyes.

The boy shrugged softly. "I h-had a bad d-dream." Joshua huffed. "A bad dream? Ty, you practically stopped breathing, you scared me." Tyler grabbed Joshua's wrist, gently leaning into his touch. "S-sorry."
"No, don't be. But... what did I do?" Joshua asked carefully. Tyler frowned. "What d-do you m-mean?" Joshua laid back down, pulling Tyler down with him gently. "Well... you called my name and said 'you promised, you promised, you and me'."
Tyler sighed, his arms wrapping around Joshua's torso, while his head rested on his chest. He held on to Joshua's shirt tightly. "You w-were gone. A-at the venue. J-just s-suddenly gone and p-people bumped into m-me and I c-couldn't breathe", Tyler whispered. Joshua hugged him tighter. "Y-you promised y-you w-wouldn't leave, b-but then you d-disappeared..."

"Last night went alright, right?" Joshua asked.
"Yeah."
"Were you scared? Anxious? Uncomfortable?"
"M-maybe a b-bit a-anxious sometimes. B-but then I l-looked back a-at you a-and I was o-okay."
"Should I have done anything differently?"
"N-no!" Tyler got one of his hands into Joshua's neck. "No, y-you can't b-blame yourself. I w-was okay."
Joshua sighed as he slid his hand over tyler's. "But then why did you have this panic attack?" Joshua questioned. "I don't want you to go through that, not then, not afterwards at night. I feel like I should have done something differently. Or maybe I shouldn't have brought you there..." Joshua whispered, his voice filled with guilt.

Tyler remembered this from the first time he had his panic attack and Joshua found him. He leaned up, pulling himself closer by his hand hooked on Joshua's neck. "S-stop. Please? Y-you d-did everything just p-perfect. Y-you are t-the reason I was even a-able to go there. It'll a-already goes b-better, a-as long as y-you're there." Tyler took a deep breath, he didn't want to stutter. "You and me."

Joshua smiled softly at him, but just before he started to speak Tyler crawled up. "I'm g-going to get s-some water, my t-throat h-hurts." He pressed a small kiss onto Joshua's stubbly cheek. Joshua nodded, shifting in bed as he watched Tyler walk into the bedroom. He jumped up and quickly walked to the bathroom when he heard Tyler let out a small yelp.
He caught Tyler staring into the mirror, a startled expression on his face. The boy's cheeks went red when he found out he made that noise out loud and Joshua came sprinting towards him.

"S-sorry", Tyler mumbled. "I f-forgot", he continued while his fingers ran over his eyebrow and cheekbone. Joshua stepped behind him, one arm wrapped around the smaller boy's waist and the hand pressed onto his chest. His other hand pulled Tyler's hand away from his face slowly. He just hugged Tyler close, watching him through the mirror. "They'll be gone soon. And after that we'll just have matching little scars." Tyler chuckled softly, turning in Joshua's arms and touching Joshua's eyebrow.

"You're still just as beautiful", Joshua whispered, his lips close to Tyler's ear as he left soft kisses there. "And cute", he added, kisses moving towards Tylers cheeks and lips. Soon their lips found each others for a lazy, slow kiss and Tyler let out a soft sigh when Joshua pulled back. "C'mon", Joshua spoke softly, taking Tylers hand and guiding him back to the bed. They climbed in, lights switched off, facing each other and foreheads pressed together.
"I-I love you", Tyler whispered, his right hand softly brushing over the stubble on Joshua's cheek. "Y-you make m-me happy."
"Good. Because I'm here to stay."