Taekook Oneshots

Porcelain

I never expected to shatter when he left. I didn't plan for every eventuality, as I used to.

And I paid the price for my stupidity.

I paid for it in the hole Kim Taehyung left in my heart.

You thought by now
You'd have it figured out

I was so sure that I was straight. One drunken mistake didn't mean anything. My sober self knew better, understood better exactly what I was and who I was. I was Jeon Jungkook, the heir of a family fortune, a man engaged to a beautiful woman he didn't know, a man with all sorts of qualifications and ideals. Nothing would change that.

It was impossible. Unthinkable.

You can't erase the way it pulls
When seasons change

That drunken mistake only happened once, but I couldn't get his face out of my head, his voice out of my ears, his taste off of my tongue. He was like a dirty secret, something I never expected to remember, but somehow still did. And it shook me to the core. All of my previous ideas were wrong, and that was one of the most chilling things about it.

Everything I knew came crashing down onto me, and I broke into fragments.

It hurts sometimes
To find where you begin

"No, hyung, it was a one time thing!" I shout furiously, my fist curling round to hit the wall beside his head, smashing a hole into the plasterwork. The shock of the blow travels up my arm in a wave of agony, but the pulsing of an angry heartbeat forces me to ignore it. "When will you realise that I have a path to follow?"

I shake my head, stepping away from him, turning so that I can't see the fear in his eyes. I hate that expression, I hate everything about it. He shouldn't be scared of me. He should just hate me instead. "I don't have a choice, Tae. We have to forget it happened."

But you are perfect porcelain

There's something poetic about the way someone falls for another person, the way they crash to the ground like brittle pottery when they realise it would never work. Not in today's world. Not in the universe I live in.

The slow and simple melody
Of tears you cannot keep from me

"Get out!" I scream at him, the moment I realise he hasn't moved, and his eyes widen in shock, his body moving for him, faster than the speed of light. One moment he's standing there, trembling, the next he's gone, and each blink makes my eyes fill with painful salt water.

I fall to my knees, the realisation of my own idiocy dropping onto my shoulders, a weight I can't possibly carry. Something deep within me, something I couldn't possibly describe even if I had to, splits into two, and it hurts. It hurts more than anything I've experienced.

It's alright if you don't know what you need

Is this what it's like to feel an inescapable loss, to watch an insurmountable wall grow before your eyes, cutting you off from the only person that's ever understood you? Is this what it's like to be trapped behind your own destiny, backed up at knifepoint until all you want is for that same knife to slit your throat?

I'm right here when
You need someone to see

"Hey, it's okay, Kook." Her soothing voice breaks into my troubled consciousness, parting the storm clouds for a moment and revealing a hint of the sun. But then it has his face, and they crash back together again, striking me right in my cracked heart with a ferocity that sends me to my knees. "He doesn't hate you."