Taekook Oneshots

Candle In The Wind

(cw: existential shit? if you aren't in the mood for that right now, skip the stuff in italics. the normal stuff is just some good ole fluff)

The world is full of mysteries. From the way our universe was born, to the reason why. We always wonder, come up with our own theories that we think make sense. We force meaning onto whatever works for us. And we come out with something. Anything, to help us cope with the darkness that surrounds the consciousness. There's a light somewhere else. There must be.

If lights exist, why do I feel like I'm stuck in the dark? Why does it feel like there's nothing, nothing in a void that envelopes me like an old friend that never really wanted the best for me? An old friend that just wanted someone to control. Someone who would stick around and pay the bill whenever they struggled.

So maybe I don't know what's going on. So maybe I never have understood the world that I live in. But it's never seemed to matter.

I don't want any violins played for me. I'm no martyr. I'm no perfect person, floating along without sin or fault. I don't claim to be. I know that I deserve just the same as any other human being. And we all have our baggage.

It's just that sometimes I'd like to walk without something weighing me down. I don't want to be scared of the dark anymore. I don't want to see the monsters under the bed, the ones that crawled into my head. I want to see the people who love me, the lights in their minds. I want to see them, and believe I matter to them.

I don't want to be trapped by things I can't control. I want to feel something. Something that doesn't paralyse me. Something that doesn't make me exhausted, confused, frightened. I want to feel normal. Goddammit. I want to feel fucking normal.

Is that such a bad thing?

We all bleed in red. We all bleed out. We all bleed until we're screaming for answers into nothingness. Nobody's any fucking different.

I get it. I'm being depressing again, aren't I? I'm glitching out your brain now, probably. I didn't mean to. This is just a vent after all. And nobody's going to see the world I sketch out. I don't even see it. I don't have a visual imagination unless I'm five seconds away from sleep. It doesn't matter.

But maybe, just maybe, it does. Maybe there's somebody on the other side of the screen, waiting to see their own universe burst into colour. Waiting for something. Anything. Proof that another mind exists in this void. That they still know what colours are, what the world could be like. Maybe someone needs five seconds to dream. When you've forgotten what your creativity can do, it's nice to have someone else show you for a change.

If anyone is there, maybe they will see something.

So let's paint something in our minds. Something beautiful, something in multicolour instead of the monochrome. Let's give ourselves something, something to feed on, something stunning that gives us the motivation to walk forward into life. Let's breathe consciousness and light into that void. There's nothing there, after all. We can't wake up what doesn't exist. We can just play pretend for a few blissful seconds.

And maybe this halfway masterpiece will give you something. Maybe it will paint a world in your mind, and allow you to feel something. Or maybe this is just a load of fancy words on a bright screen. I don't know.

But it's certainly worth a try.

In the darkness there's the gentle switch of a match. A single flame flickers into existence, burning on the head. The fire is beautiful. Golden, orange, with that little dimple in the middle where the match head is. It's tear-shaped, and the patterns change every second. It almost looks alive, a blinding spot of warmth in an empty cavern.