Spiderman Oneshots (Completed)

Pumpkin

(Btw if something is bold that means that it is spoken extremely loudly and aggressively)

Shuri and Peter were once again in the common room and, suprise suprise, were extremely bored. Shuri then turned Peter and said "What would you do if some random bitch came up to you and asked for a pumpkin?"

"What the fuck, Shuri?"

"Answer the damn question Peter"

"Well I would ask why she needs a fucking pumpkin."

"What would you do if she responded with 'I need a container for water, but I had no basins'."

"What the shit? Just some chic walking into a grocery store 'Uh, do you guys have any pumpkins?' 'We do in October, why?'."

"I need it to hold water in."

"Wha--Ma'am you could just buy a bowl or something."

"No!"

"No?"

"NO! I need pumpkin! My great gradpapi says it make water healthier."

"You're great grandpa was wrong."

"MY GREAT GRANDPAPI IS NEVER WRONG!"

"Jesus Christ--"

"HE SAID IT MAKE HEALTHIER WATER AND HE WAS RIGHT!"

"Ma'am could you not make a scene?"

"DON'T INTERRUPT A WOMAN WHEN SHE'S TALKING!"

"I'm sorry--"

"SHUT UP!"

"Ma'am please calm down, this is a Walmart--"

"YOU ARE A SKANK GEORGIA!"

"My name's not Georgia--"

"GET YOUR MANAGER!"

"I'm sorry?"

"ARE YOU RETARDED GET YOUR FUCKING MANAGER!"

"Uh, okay. Jesus." Peter pulled out his phone and dialed MJ's number, putting her on speaker.

"Hello?

"IS THIS THE MANAGER?"

"Peter what--"

"YOU'RE EMPLOYEE WAS REFUSING TO GET ME PUMPKIN!"

"Look, ma'am please calm down. I'm sorry Ms. Jones this has been misunderstanding."

"Why did this woman want a pumpkin, Peter?"

"She said something about holding water in it? I don't know."

"I NEED PUMPKIN TO HOLD WATER IN BECAUSE GRADPAPI SAID THAT PUMPKIN WATER IS HEALTHIER THAN REGULAR WATER"

"Uh, miss, that is not correct--"

"GRANDPAPI IS NEVER WRONG!"

"Oh my god--"

"Jesus dude--"

"YOU ARE ALL BAD AT CUSTOMER SERVICE!"

"Ma'am--"

"I'M GOING TO KNOCK STUFF DOWN UNTIL YOU GET ME A DAMN PUMPKIN."

"Ma'am--"

"I'M KNOCKING OVER THE DISPLAY ITEMS NOW!"

"Okay, I think we need security in here--"

"LET GO OF ME YOU BASTARDS!"

"Stop struggling ma'am--"

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"

"Ok--"

"I'LL FUCKING STAB YOUR PARENTS!"

"What's going on in here?" T'challa asked as he walked in the room.

"Peter and I are hanging out." Shuri responded.

"Why are you yelling?"

"Because water doesn't belong in pumpkins." Peter responded.

A/N:

I came up with this when I was half asleep.