Spiderman Oneshots (Completed)

Free Time

Shuri and Peter were sat in the common room, both of them on their phones. Shuri suddenly shot up and asked Peter "Hey, what if you could buy sex at a dollar store?"

"What the fuck?" Peter asked. "Are you high right now?"

"Hear me out! Like, you go to the store and your like 'Hello I would like one sex please." And they just give you someone to have sex with."

"Fucking, 'Hello, yes I would like one good pussy please'." Peter chuckled. Shuri laughed and nodded.

"Uh, would you like that pussy black or white?"

"I'm feeling some black pussy today."

"Alright one black pussy, anything else?"

"I'm kinda thinking about getting myself a hoe."

"A hoe?"

"Did I fucking stutter?"

"Are you threatening me sir?"

"Look, I just want a goddamn hoe, okay?"

"Sir--"

"Just give me a fucking hoe, skank!"

"SIR--"

"GIVE ME THE HOE"

"JUST PUT DOWN THE GUN SIR--"

"DON'T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO DO RETARD"

"SIR"

"I JUST WANTED A HOE"

"SIR YOU CAN HAVE THE BLACK PUSSY AND THE HOE FOR FREE, OKAY?! JESUS!"

"Thank you."

"What the fuck are you two doing?" Tony asked as he walked in.

"I'm selling sex." Shuri responded.

"That's prostitution, Shuri." Tony deadpanned. Shuri and Peter looked at each other and facepalmed.

"I don't know why we didn't realise that." Peter sighed.

A/N:

The reason this chapter is called "Free Time" is because I wrote this in my free time.

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