Spiderman Oneshots (Completed)

Heartbreak (Part 2)

Wade was a little concerned when he went back to Peter's apartment, considering the place looked like a war zone.

"What happened here?" Wade mumbled, casually breaking the window he was looking through.

He stepped inside the apartment, looking around for any sign of the doe eyed wonder.

Did you really just think the words 'doe eyed wonder'?

"Shut up, White." Wade mumbled. "Was there a fight here?" He wondered.

Was it Michael? I bet it was Michael.

God, I hate women.

"Yellow!" Wade exclaimed, scolding the box.

What?! It's true!

As Wade looked around more, he saw a little box on the floor with the words "For Michelle" engraved on it.

So her name wasn't Michael.

Wade opened the box and gasped when he saw a beautiful ring inside. "Proposal gone wrong?" Wade questioned. "Did someone break in?"

What's that I smell? A funeral?

"Hey!" Wade jumped and turned around.

Standing there was Peter's friend, Ned. "Oh, hi." Wade gave a wave.

"What are you doing in here?! Who are you?!" Ned exclaimed, marching foward.

"What are YOU doing in here? This isn't your apartment." Wade replied. Ned paused, eyeing the weapons strapped to Wade cautiously.

"I'm here to pick up my friend's stuff." Ned said. "I answered your question, now you answer mine. Who are you and what are you doing here?"

"Your friend? Petey? Is he alright?" Wade asked.

"You know Peter?" Ned asked. Wade nodded.

"Yes! Of course I do! He's the most gorgeous man I have ever seen in my life, and that's saying something!" Wade exclaimed. "I mean, technically we haven't met, but I know everything about him!"

Wow, totally not suspicious.

Ned narrowed his eyes at Wade. "His favorite food?"

"His aunt's cherry pie!" Wade replied smoothly.

"Favorite color?"

"Red!"

"Favorite song?"

"Spiderman's Theme, duh!" Wade exclaimed. "Now will you tell me what happened here?"

"After you tell me who you are."

"Deadpool is the name, looking sexy is the game!" Wade smirked, though he was aware Ned probably couldn't see it.

"Well," Ned sighed, wondering if telling this strange man who reeked of tacos and blood was a good idea. "Michelle and Peter had a...falling out."

"What do you mean?" Wade asked, suddenly serious.

"He came home one day to find her in a...interesting position...with another guy." Ned winced.

Suddenly, Wade's blood was boiling hotter than a thousand suns.

That's a lot of gas.

Shut up Yellow.

Am I wrong?

"Where is she?" Wade asked, ignoring the boxes. Ned sighed.

"Look, I don't know. If I knew, I wouldn't be here right now." Ned shook his head.

"That still doesn't explain what happened to his apartment." Wade murmured, looking around.

"He kind of had a break down after she left. This is the result." Ned shrugged.

"Where is he?" Wade asked, looking back at Ned.

"Avengers Tower--where are you going?"

---

"PETEY!" Someone exclaimed at they crashed through the window.

Peter screamed, dropping his hot chocolate on the very expensive carpet.

"I came as soon as I heard!" Wade exclaimed. "I was confused as to why you were here, but that's not important!"

"Who the hell--?!"

"I'll unalive her! I really will!" Wade grabbed a confused Peter's hands.

"You're standing in the hot chocolate--"

"Don't try and stop me! She'll pay for what she did to you!"

"Wait--who are you?!" Peter asked. Wade blinked, before backing off.

"Oh, where are my manners?" Wade laughed.

You had manners?

HAHAHA--

"My name is Wade Wilson, otherwise known as your favorite mercenary, Deadpool." He grabbed Peter's hand and shook it.

Real name right off the bat, huh? That's new.

"Deadpool? I've heard of you..." Peter mumbled, becoming increasingly more concerned.

"Michelle will suffer the consequences for breaking your beautiful heart. I swear it!"

"Hey, Pete. Is everything okay out--Deadpool?!" Happy exclaimed. "Tony! The merc got in the tower again!"

"Again?!" Peter asked, staring wide eyed at Happy. He looked back at Wade, who had not stopped shaking his hand.

"You two know each other?! That's so great!" Wade chirped.

Angry stomps could be heard coming to the common room. Tony appeared in the doorway. "Goddamit Wilson! Get the hell out!"

"No! I have to comfort my Peter!" Wade stopped shaking Peter's hand and pulled him into an embrace. "Look at the poor boy! He looks heartbroken!"

"I think he looks more confused than anything at the moment." Happy commented lazily.

"Tell me, Stark. Do you know where Michelle is?" Wade asked, ignoring Happy.

"MJ is probably sucking face with Flash in some hotel." Peter grumbled bitterly. Wade tightened his hold on Peter, despite his protests.

"Of course I know where she is, out a tracker in her neck the second they started dating." Tony scoffed. "And as much as I'd like to kill--"

"Unalive."

"--her, I don't want innocent blood on either of our hands." Tony crossed his arms. "Also, what the hell? Did you shit on my carpet?! That thing costs more than your life, boy!"

"Can I at least threaten her? Make her live in fear for the rest of her sad little life?" Wade asked. Tony thought about it.

"Eh, what the hell? Go ahead." Tony shrugged.

"Yay!" Wade let go of Peter. Peter squawked as he fell to the floor, no longer having anything support his weight.

With that, Wade jumped out the window he came crashing in through.

"Oh my god!" Peter screamed, running over to the window.

"Calm down, he's fine." Happy waved it off.

"He can regenerate, it's like his superpower or whatever." Tony shrugged.

"Still, we're just going to let him threaten her?!" Peter exclaimed.

"Uh, yeah?" Tony said like it was obvious. Happy laughed. "It's not like she'll get hurt. Don't worry about it, Underoos."

"It's Wilson." Happy said. Tony paused.

"Okay, maybe we should be a bit concerned."

A/N:

Thinking about ending the oneshot book because it's become a chore to write tingz 🤪

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