Spiderman Oneshots (Completed)

A Stab For Science

"Have you seen my--WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Shuri exclaimed as she entered the common room.

Peter was about to stab his leg with a kitchen knife. "Huh? Oh, hey Shuri!" He waved at her.

"Peter. Benjamin. Parker." She hissed. "What on earth are you doing?" Peter tilted his head.

"What?" He asked. He looked at the kitchen knife. "Oh, this?" He chuckled. "I'm testing something."

"What on EARTH could you be testing that requires you to stab yourself?!" She yelled.

Harley and Miles came rushing in. "What's happening?!" Miles exclaimed. He had quickly thrown on his spider suit when he heard Shuri yelling.

"Miles, you put your suit on backwards." Peter commented lazily. Miles looked down.

"Oh, whoops." He shrugged. "Anyways, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Well," Peter smirked. "Y'know how I have a healing factor?"

"I'm well aware." Miles snorted. Harley and Shuri nodded.

"I've never ACTUALLY calculated how long it takes for cuts and shit to heal." Peter hummed. "So, I'm going to stab myself to see how long it takes for me to heal."

"That's incredibly stupid." Harley grimaced.

"Wait wait wait, so I have an excuse to hurt Peter WITHOUT getting in trouble?" Shuri asked. The three boys looked at her.

"What the hell, Shuri?" Miles asked.

"It was a joke!" She huffed. "But how are you going to test shit like bullets?"

At that moment, Peter pulled out a glock. "Well--"

"I don't think we need the explanation." Miles shook his head.

"Were you sitting on that?" Harley asked incredulously.

"So are you guys gonna stay here and watch?" Peter asked.

"Might as well." Shuri shrugged, sitting down on the couch.

"Hell yeah!" Miles plopped on the the couch next to her.

"I'm not cleaning up the blood." Harley sighed, also sitting down.

Peter took a deep breath. He brought the knife down.

"Hey do you know where my kn--" Bucky stopped, watching the scene in front of him. Peter stopped the knife right over his thigh.

"Hey Uncle Bucky." Harley said. Peter waved.

"I was going to make a soup." Bucky sighed. "I need that knife."

"Well you can't use it after it's covered in my blood." Peter shrugged. "Well you can, but you'll need--"

"Hydrogen peroxide. I know." Bucky nodded. "I keep some in my room."

"I'm not going to ask." Miles shook his head.

"It's greatly appreciated." Bucky told him. "So, can I have it?"

"After we're done with it." Peter stated. Bucky rolled his eyes.

"What are you even doing?" He asked.

"Peter's stabbing himself." Shuri shrugged.

"pETER'S WHAT?!" Was heard down the hall. Tony came running at full speed towards Peter.

He snatched the knife out of Peter's hands. "What the fuck?!" Peter exclaimed.

Bucky gently took the knife out of Tony's hand and went to make his soup.

"What is wrong with you?!" Tony yelled.

"It was for science!" Peter protested.

"What?!"

A/N:

I really really hate this one.

*

Min, on the phone: Hey Dominic!

Dominic: Hey Min.

Min: How's Africa?

Dominic: Beautiful, as I expected.

Min: That's great! Everything's the same here. Well, almost.

Dominic: Almost?

Min: Darius and Susie are dating now.

Dominic: oh...that's great...

Min: You sound upset.

Dominic: Sorry, it's nothing.

Min: No, come on. Tell me.

Dominic: This is gonna sound so clingy. Um, I dunno. I just didn't expect Susie to move on so...quickly?

Min: Oh?

Dominic: Don't get me wrong! I'm happy for her!

Min: No I totally get it.