Spiderman Oneshots (Completed)

Wade's Question Corner (Episode 6)

"No one fucking cares about these why do I even--" Wade was shoved foward. "This is Wade's Question Corner, as you know. The first question is for you, no surprise there." Wade said, lazily skimming through his note cards.

Which Avenger do you think is the best make out partner?

"What the actual fuck is this question?" Wade asked Darius. "Whatever, first question of the day is for Peter from artistminority."

Imagine you're standing on the moon, and suddenly a cow flies by. You jump on it and it takes you to twink land where James Charles comes up to you and squeezes lemon juice in your eyes. Now, using the information I gave you above, how many eggplants can you make with three cookies and half a bottle of listerine?

"Wow." Peter mumbled. "Uh, zero? Since eggplants are grown from the ground." Peter looked towards Wade.

"Don't look at me for confirmation, I'm more lost than you are." Wade said. "Next question is from Lillith_Hellfire for me."

Wade, are you okay?

"Ha, when am I ever okay?" Wade mumbled, causing everyone to throw him a concerned glance. "Since this show is dead, no one has any questions. I'll ask some of my own. Pietro, what do you think of the X-Men version of yourself."

"I'll pretend I know what you mean by that." Pietro shrugged. "I bet he's a pussy."

"Right." Wade mumbled, only half listening to his answer. "Petey, darling, love of my life?"

"Yes?" Peter asked.

"Do you regret being bit by that spider?" Wade asked.

"Nope." Peter replied with no hesitation. "Not one bit."

"Lucky you." Wade mumbled. "This is going no where, let's just cut the episode here." Wade walked off stage.

"WADE'S QUESTION CORNER!"

A/N:

:3

*

Susie: Hey Darius, I heard you're taking applications for new employees.

Darius: Yeah, it's overwhelming doing it by myself and it's beginning to chip at my mental state so I decided it was time.

Susie: That's good, I wouldn't want you overworking yourself. *walks away*

Darius: *blushes* Man, I should really get the balls to tell her my feelings soon.