Down For The Count

Teach 'Em How to Say Goodbye

Paisley's POV

Dear Lin,

I'm sorry for making things awkward and ruining the funny and jokey relationship we had. I remember we vowed that we would never be all sappy and sentimental and weird with each other, but thank you. I haven't really had a real dad, and even though I've only known you for like seven months, you're the closest glimpse I've ever gotten at having a good one. Thank you for everything. Teach them how to say goodbye, right?

Love always,
Paisley Miranda

I smiled to myself. No tears, no hyperventilating. Just smiles. This was my last letter.

It's been a week since Lin and I got that phone call in the car, and since then things have just gone downhill.

Lin and Vanessa have definitely become super stressed, but they keep saying they're not mad at me...which is a complete lie. I know they hate me, I know I ruined everything.

I've just become sadder, but luckily I don't think anyone's really noticed. Why would they care? The only time I've smiled is thinking about finally being done, I just don't know how I'm gonna do it. Do I want it to be short and painless, or do I deserve for it to be dragged out and extremely painful? I honestly don't know, I-

"Hey!" Lin said, making me jump and quickly turn my paper over. "Watcha writing?"

"Oh, um...poetry." I said quietly, standing up and facing Lin, putting the letter in my pocket and not quite knowing what to do with myself. "What do you need?"

"What?" Lin asked, causing me to look up at him, which was a mistake. I forgot eye contact made things weird. I quickly averted my eyes and cleared my throat, trying to be a little louder and not mumble.

"Do you need something?" I said, which did still come out quiet, but it was a bit more loud than last time.

"Oh, uh, I just wanted to see if you wanted to watch a movie?" Lin asked. I focused on the hardwood floor, finding it particularly interesting.

"No thanks, I have...um...I have stuff to do." I replied awkwardly. This is what I was talking about. Lin and I used to have the coolest relationship ever. Everything used to be fun and natural and now everything's just...weird and uncomfortable. I feel...scared? Why am I scared to talk to Lin? Why am I such a screw up?

"Okay, I'll join you then. What do you need help with?" Lin asked. I looked up at him, my eyes widening. He tilted his head and smiled a little. "What?"

"N-nothing. It's just, uh, you can't help me." I said, causing Lin to grin some more.

"If you don't want to hang out with me, you can just say it, I won't-"

"I don't wanna hang out with you." I blurted, causing Lin to laugh, but he looked a little hurt.

Some things are meant to be thought, not said, idiot.

"Well that solves that then. I guess I'll try to get some work done, I'll be in my office if you need me." Lin said quietly, walking out of the room. I groaned, sitting down on my bed and putting my head in my hands. I'm so stupid, why am I such a mean person?

I need someone over here tonight, I'm such an idiot and it sucks.

Paisley: do you wanna spend the night? things between me and Lin are weird af and I need someone else over here....