Down For The Count

Ticking Time

*trigger warning*- the topics of self-harm and suicide are discussed heavily in this chapter
Paisley's POV

I looked down at my phone, waiting for the response from Alex, but of course one never came.

I've texted her too many times within the past few days, and I've gotten no response. As much as I want to dismiss the thought, I think it's safe to say that she hates me.

That's all I do nowadays, check my phone every two seconds to see if Alex has texted me.

I want to make things right again. I want her to know I'm not picking Meredith over her. I just want things to be normal again.

Time passed quickly though and I knew I would have to get going soon. I promised Violet I would go to get coffee with her.

I'm really glad Vi and Winter aren't mad at me. Of course Winter was a little upset with me at first, but that seemed to have pretty much vanished. There's no problems between us.

But Alex is upset. Alex is extremely upset with me, and she's ignoring me.

I stood up, making my way over to the door. Lin and Vanessa were still sleeping, and I didn't want to wake them, so I settled on sending them a text that they would see when they woke up.

The subway ride downtown didn't take long at all. The fact that Alex's house was maybe a five minute walk from the coffee shop didn't help ease my nerves at all. I wanted so badly to just go see her, to get off at the sixth subway stop rather than the seventh.

But space is good. Maybe a little space is all she needs. I'll be getting that text notification any second now.

I tried to push Alex out of my mind as I got off the subway and made my way to the coffee shop. Violet was already sitting inside, and I smiled at my friend who had already happily started breakfast.

"Paisley!" Violet said excitedly, giving me a wave. Her happiness was refreshing, I always love getting to see her.

"Hey, Vi." I spoke as I sat down, listening to Violet talk excitedly about all that she'd done within the past few days, catching me up on everything that has been happening in her life.

"What about you?" Violet asked, and I only shrugged.

"Not much, honestly."

I really haven't done anything. I haven't hung out with Meredith either. I still feel dirty, and I don't know why. I don't really know how to fix this situation with Alex, though. Hanging out with Meredith probably wouldn't help our little feud, so I'm taking a little step back from Meredith for a bit.

Lin's words had been resonating in my head, ringing over and over again.

She's your best friend. Your loyalty should lie to her.

I've been thinking about that line way too much. And if he's right...then I'm officially the worst.

I didn't want to pick between them.

But maybe I should've picked Alex.

"Muffin?" Violet asked, pushing the small baked-good in front of me, a blue paper wrapper encasing it. I only shook my head. "Please? I can't eat all of it."

I sighed, taking a smile piece of the muffin, and watching as Violet beamed at me.

"Are you actually going to order something?" She laughed, referring to all the times we go to the diner and I never get anything to eat.

"Maybe later." I smiled, my eyes trailing down to the table as my thoughts went elsewhere, my lips tugging down into a frown. "Hey, um...I've been meaning to ask. What exactly happened between Meredith and Alex?"