The Happiness Of Tragedy

Chapter 71

I tossed to my right, facing the dark window as my eyes slowly came open. I couldn't sleep after that, just like I couldn't sleep all night.

I'd tossed and turned constantly, thoughts in the back of my mind and trying to get rid of them just brought them on even more and made them lead to something else.

All my thoughts consist of things I elegantly want to forget about but only one of them was formed into a dream and of course, its the one with Levi. I dreamed he didn't want to be with me anymore and it felt so real.

I turned around back to my left, checking the time which is 7:30 in the morning. My face fell to the pillow once more before I groaned and decided on moving the covers and crawling out of bed. I went to the bathroom and after I used it, I came back out and sat on the bed feeling a little sluggish. I brung my hands up to my face and tried to rub the sleepiness away but it was no use. I look around my room at how dark it had seemed before my eyes landed on the window. The reason it was so dark was because it had been raining over night, there was not a bit of sound heard while I attempted to sleep. I stood and went over to the window, it was useless to look out but I did it anyway pushing my forehead against it's cold surface and letting my hand glide down the dry glass even as it was wet on the other side. The drops landed on the window before they began to plummet down until it eventually fell to the ground and I remember something Dad always told me, doesn't matter where the water comes from or where it is it'll always find it's way back to the ocean. So if life was that easy, why couldn't I find my way back to Levi or him to me?

I sniffed, standing straight before I made my way toward the door of my room. I opened it and stuck my head out to see if anyone was awake but they weren't, they had peaceful dreams and I choose to have the nightmares.

I walked slowly down the hall leaving my door open and to the steps to make my way down and to the kitchen. I turned on the light and went to the fridge to grab a water bottle before closing it and leaning on the island while I drank some. The house is quiet, too quiet and I suddenly wish for noise beside the low sounded rain hitting the outside of the house. I make my way to the window over the sink and took another drink of the water before looking out. The rain that slid down the cold window makes everything seem blurry and out of focus.

I look out at the pool and the woods that follow behind the gate of the house, the dream comes to mind. The one where I'm being chased by the same guy that nearly groped me in ways I could never have wished on anyone. I was glad it hadn't gone farther than that and then came Levi, he stopped him. No matter what I think about, my family, college, my past, myself, everything leads back to him.

I make my way to the stairs and head back up to the room. When I get there, I'm not even close to being tired so I grab my laptop, headphones and head to my window seat. I sit, legs crossed on the cushion seat against the big window and place my water on the ledge before grabbing my laptop and plugging in my headphones.

I go straight to my music and click on the first song I see, Saying Goodbye by Matt White and even though this song gives my emotions complete access to do whatever they want, I still don't cry or anything. I feel as if theres nothing I could do that would change the outcome of my past mistakes.

The door opens slightly in the corner of my eyes before it stop, my heart drops to my feet but then it moves again and I see my little sister make her way into my room. I let out a small sigh, pause the music and set my laptop to the side before walking over to her.

"Macy" she rubs her eyes again before she looks at me. I sit on the edge of the bed and put my hands to the sides of her arms.

"Katerina, I couldn't sleep" her voice cracks in the end and a smile forms on my lips.