i'm sorry that i fell for you -jaegan-

chapter two - the party

justins p.o.v

i decided to get ready for raegans party early. i showered, and picked out a full black outfit. i own mostly black clothes. anything else looks odd on someone like me.

i told my mom i have a party and she's fine with it. i have no homework so she didn't care. not like i would do it anyway. 

i left my house a few minutes before 8, and i end up getting to raegan's right at 8. i already saw all the lights and heard the music from outside. i parked my car and walked inside. i squeezed through all the people and finally see raegan in the kitchen, a red solo cup to his lips. his head turns to the side and he sees me. i can see his eyes light up a bit. then, he comes over to me.

"hey justin." he has to yell slightly so i can hear him.

"hi. cool party." i say and he shrugs, nodding.

"i know." he smirks and i roll my eyes at him. he hands me a solo cup and i take a sip. beer. how nice.

"thanks." i say and see him looking at me weird. i just smile awkwardly.

"i'll see you around." i take the chance to walk away casually and see who else is here. i noticed i don't have many friends. i have acquaintances but not really friends.

not going to lie, i'm a little curious to see if raegan had any plans tonight. for me or for anyone. he told me "we'll see" at school. well i hope he knows that that doesn't scare me one bit.

i walk around some more and after about an hour i've had a few drinks and i feel a little light headed. i dance with other kids, feeling so loose and having a great time. i haven't really seen raegan around at all. he's hanging with his other friends i guess.

i start to walk back to the kitchen when i start to talk. raegan is trying to get to me. that's why he's giving me those looks and saying the things he's saying. he wants to get under my skin. well it's not going to work. not-

my thought are interrupted by bumping into someone. i rub my forehead and look to see, of course, raegan in front of me. he's drunk, just like me.

"shit, sorry." i apologize and he laughs a little.

"don't worry about it. y-you want another drink?" he asks, burping in the middle of it.

"i shouldn't." i wave my hand back and forth indicating that i don't want another drink.

"oh come on." he stumbles a bit. i quickly glance at this boy falling onto raegan. that causes rae to move forward and come very close to my body. the boy keeps moving but rae doesn't move. our bodies are inches apart and i can small the alcohol in his breath. we are looking right at each other.

"follow me." he says quickly and takes my hand, bringing me upstairs. i don't remember raegan's house looking like this. shit, i'm so out of it. what i going on?

he drags me down a hallway and into the last room. he quickly shuts the door and i hear it lock. before i can comprehend anything, his lips attack mine and my eyes widen in shock. i jump onto him and he stumbles over to the bed dropping me on it and getting on top of me. i lock my arms around his neck and our lips wrestle with each other's. i've never kissed someone like this. his lips are so addicting.

he pulls away and takes his shirt off quickly. then he pulls mine off and it's no secret we are both trans. except he has both surgeries and i have none. so i still have my binder on. (i'm aware of what surgeries they have. this is just a fanfic) he kisses down my neck to my stomach and fiddled to unbuttons my jeans.

for a moment my head realizes what is going on. raegan and i. kissing. shirtless. about to be pants less. that's not good. no no.

"raegan. no." i mumble, grabbing his hand to take it away from my pants. i sit up quickly and put my shirt back on. i notice he knows what's going on too. he snapped back into reality for a moment just like me.

"i see what you're doing." i get up off the bed and back away from the bed. "this is what you've planned all along and sure, it was fun kissing you but i cannot have sex with you." i reach for the doorknob and unlock the door.

"justin w-wait-"

"no no." i get the door open. "you're just trying to prove that you're right like you always do. but not this time. i got to go." i say running out of the room and down the hallway.

"jay!" i hear as i run down the stairs and out of the house. i make it to my car and start it quickly, pressing on the gas and driving away. i slow down once i get to a stop sign and try to sober myself as i drive.

i get home safely, no problem. i shut my car off and check my phone, noticing it's eleven o'clock. i run inside the house and up to my room. i shut the door softly trying not to wake my parents up.

holy shit. what just happened?! i know what happened, but why? he's that desperate that he would go out of his way to kiss and try to fuck me to prove a point. he probably would of gone and bragged to his friends if he got in my pants tonight.

i would have had sex with raegan. i so would have, and then pretended like it never happened tomorrow. i hate to admit it, but i'm afraid of what would have happened. he's got fame in our school. he'd tell everyone and embarrass me. i don't want to give him that satisfaction. not now at least.

oh come on justin, live a little ;)
i hope you enjoyed! comment and vote pleaseeeee