i'm sorry that i fell for you -jaegan-

chapter fourty - cheated

justin's p.o.v

i'm getting in my car now to go to school the next day. raegan still has not texted me and he didn't even bother to give me a ride to school so now i'm super worried. i try to shake it off as i ride to school.

when i get to school, i walk in with my hands on the straps of my backpack. when i step foot into the school, i see a bunch of kids are right here at the entrance. they are all talking about something. then i notice these printed pictures on almost every other locker, all through the halls. i quickly pull one off a locker close by and look at it.

my eyes widen big as i see what this picture is. it's raegan and a girl on a bed together. he's on top of her and they are kissing. it looks like a party or something. my eyes fill with tears at the sight of this and all of a sudden i hear his voice. i don't even want to look up, but i do.

i see him talking to other people who are holding up the picture to him. they start to see me one by one and move. raegans eyes lock with mine maybe ten feet away and almost the whole hall is looking at the both of us. this damn school loves drama.

"you.." i start trying to choke up words. "y-you lied to me." i stutter and i've never a face full of more regret and embarrassment.

"no! justin please." he says as he starts to panic a little, ripping the pictures off the lockers aggressively. i just stand there, looking back down at the picture.

"why would you-..how could you do this to me?" i ask looking back up. i see his eyes gloss over as he just looks at me.

"let me explain please. i-"

"you cheated..raegan." i hear behind me and i recognize that voice anywhere. i turn around a little and see dave of course. he has a little smile on his face. "what is there to explain?" he raises his eyebrows.

"you! what did you do?" rae stomps over to him and grabs his shirt, picking him off the ground.

"i didn't do anything. take your hands off of me." dave snaps and shoves raegan, causing him to let go of his shirt. "i'm just saying that was bound to happen because everyone knew you never loved him."

"you hung up these pictures!" he shouts at him. i'm still in shock, looking around.

"he had to find out somehow. didn't seem like you were gonna tell him." he says crossing his arms.

raegan turns around quickly and looks at me again. he's breathing heavy. "babe i..i was drunk, i didn't know what i was doing."

"you went to a party the other night?" i ask and i hear some people gasp. "you never told me. and this is why you didn't text me back all day sunday or even bother to pick me up for school this morning." at this point i don't care that a third of the school is hearing this right now.

"i just wanted to hang out with some friends, i didn't think i'd get that drunk." he gets a little closer to me. "please please let's just talk alone." he says.

"no. you lied to me about multiple things. y-you promised me you wouldn't get that drunk again. you told me you always loved me so many times. you told me you changed raegan." i wipe my eyes frantically and take a deep breath.

"i do love you. you're my favorite person in the whole world. i never meant for this to happen. i didn't want to do that. i..fuck." he says sort of freaking out. i see dave behind him with a smug look on his face.

i crumbs up the piece of paper and throw it on the floor. i shake my head at him and turn around, walking the other way. everyone is looking at me.

"baby please-"

"don't call me that!" i shout at him before i turn the corner to enter another hallway. my breathing picks up as what actually happened starts to hit me. he cheated. he broke his promises. he lied. he never changed. he couldn't for the life of him.

i walk inside the nearest bathroom and quickly look at myself in the mirror. i'm a mess. i splash water on my face and rub my eyes gently. fuck. i cant go through this day. my first boyfriend. my first love. all gone. all disappeared in a matter of seconds.

i hear the bathroom door open abruptly and raegan comes rushing in. "justin."

"i can't believe you." i say not looking at him. i feel his hand touch my arm and i snap, whipping my arm back and away from him. "how could you do this to me?!" i yell at him, surprised at my sudden outburst.

"i didn't want it to happen." he shakes his head, still looking at me.

"well it did!" i shout. "i tried to give you everything, raegan. i thought i changed you. i thought that you actually loved me and you cared about me. i thought you were the type of person to keep your promises. i thought you wanted me and only me." i quiet down as i say those words to him.

"i do want you. and i do love you jay. i never stopped loving you. i never doubted us. i'm so sorry that i broke my promise to never get that drunk again and for doing the most horrible thing ever imaginable but nothing has changed. i love you so much. please." he says and for a moment i almost felt bad. he looks so sad. i love him and i hate to see him like this. but that picture of them on that bed comes back into my mind i want to explode.

"i clearly never changed you. you can't stand being with one person for too long. you miss the old you who used to mess around with everyone and not give a single fuck!" i shout again, pushing him back a little with my hands. not too hard but a little to get my frustration out.

"no no i don't-"

"of course you do. god i should have listened when you said you knew you'd cheat and fuck it up. you were right. you aren't capable of being a decent fucking person for one damn month." i explode on him, feeling all my anger come out at once. tears roll down his face as he shakes his head.

"i'm so sorry. i love you more than anything. dave probably invited me over so-"

"you cannot pin this on dave. this is on you. this is all on you." i cut him off. "i'm going home. don't follow me like you always do." i say and walk past him, out of the bathroom door. no one is in the hallway anymore because first period started.

i quickly walk down the hall, feeling disgusting because my face is red and wet from all the tears. before i walk out, i see dave standing right near the door. i stop for a moment we stare at each other.

"he never loved you." he says, leaning against the door.

"shut up." i say harshly and continue to walk out to my car.

i get in and feel more tears fill my eyes. i can't help it as i start to cry in my hands. i love him so much. how could he ruin everything like that? we were good, really good for a few weeks. my heart feels like it's shattering slowly.

i drive home quickly and see my parents left for work. i run inside and slam the front door, taking my shoes and backpack off. i kick my shoe off, still feeling angry. i made him fall for me. biggest mistake of my life. ever. my phone starts ringing and i see it's kyle. i take a deep breath and answer it.

"hey." i choke out, my voice sounding horrible.

"i heard what happened. are you okay?" he says frantically and i sit on my couch, not answering for a second.

"no." i say very quietly and shake my head to myself. "i feel like i'm slowly losing my breath as i sit on my couch right now."

"you left school?" he asks.

"mhm. i-i couldn't stay there." i say. he doesn't say anything for a moment.

"i'm coming over." he says.

"no you don't have to miss school." i tell him but i can already hear rustling around like he's walking.

"i'll be there in ten."

fuckkk raegan are you for real???
dumb
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