i'm sorry that i fell for you -jaegan-

chapter six - don't care

justins p.o.v

the next day, i'm at my locker grabbing some books. raegan went home late last night, we mostly cuddled for the rest of the night. my dad didn't really notice, or care. i was kind of excited to see raegan today. maybe we are okay now. instead of being jerks to each other.

i didn't see him this morning though. he's usually in the hallways around here. but nothing this morning. hm. i ignore it and go to first period. i'm sure i'll see him later.

i don't have feelings for him, definitely not. but last night was good. it was different. maybe i needed that. but being this friends with benefits thing is fun with him. we are both popular. tough. that works out.

when it was finally lunch, raegan wasn't in the lunch room. i wanted to see him, i'm done waiting, i brought my backpack with me as i walked the halls, looking to see if he was here anywhere.

when i came around a corner, my whole body freezes and i stop in place as i see him making out with some girl. this random girl. my eyes almost have the urge to fill with tears. no no, why? i don't care. i don't..care.

they pull away and raegans head snaps to me. "oh hey justin." he says casually, keeping his arms around her. "need anything? i'm kind of in the middle of something." he asks.

"uh, no. no i was just walking around." i say and turn around quickly, walking away. i make it far enough away from them and lean against the lockers.

i don't care. i can't care. i should have expected this! what am i doing? what am i feeling? my heart hurts. something is wrong, but it doesn't matter. raegan is just a friend. to fool around with. that's all he is.

the end of the day came quick after lunch. i'm at my locker unpacking my backpack. today has not been a good day. it just really hasn't.

"hey!" i feel a tap on my shoulder and a bright face next to me. i look over and see rae standing there.

"hi." i say, shutting my locker and turning to him. i keep my head slightly down.

"you alright jay?" he asks me. i nod quickly, shaking it off. "so-" i start

"would you like to come over today? no one will be home and i thought it would be fun to just chill out." he asks me and i smile a bit.

"this will be like the third day in a row we are hanging." i say and he shrugs.

"so?" he smiles a bit and i feel my cheeks blush. oh no. he can't see that. why is that even happening?

"okay sure. now?" i ask. i need to try and get that picture out of my head of him kissing that girl. maybe this will help.

"yeah i'll drive you to my house." he says. i nod.

we walk out of school together, with a few people staring i might add, and walk to his car. we both get in and he drives us to his house.

once we arrive, i grab my bag and walk into his house with him. we take our shoes off and drop our bags on the floor. he swiftly takes my hand and leads me upstairs. he takes me into his bedroom and closes the door.

he turns around and kissed me quickly. i'm a little taken back but then i kiss him back. he walks forward, causing me to walk backwards and i bump into the bed. i fall back, making a noise because i was not expecting that at all. he's on top of me now, and we are still kissing.

he kisses down my to my neck and sucks harshly. i just realized that he never made a hickey yesterday on my neck. only a little one on my chest. i don't really like this right now. i kind of wanted to just cuddle and watch movies with him.

but this is all i am to him. i'm just a body for him to fuck. to kiss. to do everything to. he didn't want us to chill out here. he's just horny so he invited me over. i don't want that. i want him for who he is as a person. dammit!

his hand tries to undue my belt quickly but i grab his hand and pull away from him.

"raegan get off." he sees me freaking out a little and moves off of me. i get off of his bed and feel my breathing patterns going crazy. holy shit.

"justin whats wrong?" he asks me, confused. i want him to know how i feel. but he'll think i'm weak. he will think i'm catching feelings. i'm not catching feelings! i'm not! i can't! i just don't want this to go how it's going.

"you didn't wanna just "chill out" rae." i say with my back to him. i can't look at his face right now.

"well no but that's the whole point of us. what we are doing. it's just sex." he says and i feel tears in my eyes. i try to blink them away but it won't work. i can't blink them away. "jay?" he touches my shoulder.

"no don't touch me." i say harshly, turning around to face him. he looks at my eyes and looks even more confused now.

"are you crying?" he asks quietly. i shake my head, wiping my eyes in a panic. i'm fine. i'm FINE!

"i'm gonna go." i say, walking to his bedroom door. i walk out of his room and down his stairs. as i'm almost out of the door i hear,

"justin wait!" and i freeze. i hesitantly turn around and see raegan running down the stairs. he closes the door and stands in front of it.

"don't leave. what's wrong?" he asks, coming closer to me.

"oh please, you don't care." i say, snapping a bit at him. he furrows his eyebrows at me and i back away from him.

"what do you mean-"

"i mean what i just said. you don't care about me. what happens to me. how i feel about any of this! you don't care." i say a little louder than intended.

"jay i...it's not that i don't care." he says shaking his head and i really just want to scream in his face right. tell him how much i hated seeing him kiss that girl. tell him that i don't want just sex. i like hanging with him. i like seeing him everyday and talking. but i can't. i just can't.

"i want to leave." i say trying to walk around him but he stops me again. i close my eyes in frustration.

"why? what did i do?" he asks clueless. does he really think i'm that strong? that i want all of his sex. he thinks i'm weak, why doesn't he expect this? why is he fighting?!

"i said i want to leave." i say more demanding and push past him, slipping on my shoes and grabbing my backpack as quickly as possible. i slip out the door and realize he drove me here. shit.

"i'm not driving you home until you tell me what's wrong." i hear behind me. i sigh.

ooo cliffhanger. those are always fun :)
will justin crack? or will he force raegan to drive him home?
comment a prediction?! vote please ❤️