i'm sorry that i fell for you -jaegan-

chapter thirty six - insane

justin's p.o.v

it's monday morning now. raegan and just arrived at school and we are about to walk in. i don't want to see his "friends" what to ever. and he's mad at them so i'm sure he doesn't want to either.

we walk in hand in hand like we have been doing every morning. to our surprise only dave is standing at the near entrance. shane and that other kid are no where to be seen.

"morning raegan." he says. he's so fake. what's the point of doing this.

"hi." rae says as he just keeps walking with me by his side. "and goodbye." he says once we pass him. he squeezes my hand i look up at him smiling.

i look back and see dave staring at us. i wink at him playfully and he clenches his jaw tightly. i cant stand him.

we go to my locker like usual first and i open it. raegan stands next to me leaning against the lockers. as i take my things out, i notice he's staring at me.

"take a picture it'll last longer." i say to him and he doesn't answer. he just nods and pulls out his phone pointing it at me. "ew no i was joking." i put my hand over the camera and laugh.

"never say ew again when i'm taking your picture because you're so adorable." he sticks out his tongue at me and puts his phone away.

"ew." i say messing around with him. he shakes his head laughing and puts his hand on my cheek. he leans in and our lips touch. the butterflies in my stomach are insane. every time.

we pull away but keep our faces close. he keeps that cute smile on his face as his eyes travel around my face.

"justin." i hear behind me and i turn around quickly. i'm not used to that if it's not raegan. i see kyle walking up to me.

"hey kyle." i say smiling at him as i close my locker. he stops right in front of me and smiles back.

"how's it going?" he asks me.

"good, thanks. how's everything with you?" i ask politely.

"not bad. wish i was anywhere else but this hell hole though." he says and i laugh at his words. then i feel an arm from behind wrap around my waist. raegan pulls me back a little and keeps his arm there. "oh hi raegan." he says greeting raegan now. raegan doesn't answer.

"rae be nice." i say looking up at him. he's just looking at kyle.

"i don't trust you anymore than i trust dave. you're his friend and he's an ass to justin." rae says. i look at kyle and he's looking down nodding.

"fair enough, but i don't agree with anything dave has been doing or saying involving you two." he says pulling out a cigarette. "i'll be under the stairs. text me later jay." he says and walks away. i give him a small smile as he does. then i turn around to face raegan.

"he's a nice kid babe." i say wrapping my arms around his neck. he sighs.

"he just pulled out a cigarette and is going to smoke in school." he grins sarcastically. "doesn't seem like a nice kid to me."

"i said nice. not good." i say taking my arms off his shoulders and grabbing his hand. we walk to his locker next.

"same thing." he rolls his eyes playfully.

when it was time for lunch raegan and i sat down at his usual table. dave, shane, and the other kid that i still don't know his name sit across from us. i don't like being around them but rae won't stop talking to them for good. so what can i do?

"ya know.." i hear dave say. when the hell doesn't he talk? "lunch used to be way better when it was just the four of us talking about who we are going to bed next." he says and everyone knows it was meant for raegan. "don't you guys agree?" he looks over at shane and the other kid.

"of course. this is boring now." shane says eating his lunch. i keep a dead stare on dave and he finally looks back at me. he raises his eyebrows and has such a smug look on his face.

"you guys are ridiculous." raegan says. dave's eyes shift to rae's as he says that.

"we are just being truthful." dave says. hm.

"no you're just being jealous assholes who can't be happy for your best friend for the life of ya." rae says to them, wrapping his arm around me bringing me as close to the side of his body as he can.

"there's nothing to be happy about. you don't even seem happy." shane points out and i'm really about to explode.

"if justin and i were at our own table talking without any judgment, i would be happy. but i thought it would be nice to sit with my supposably  best friends but you three just want to make us miserable. it's pathetic." rae says snapping at them.

i move raegan arm and turn around on the bench so i'm not facing them. i cross my arms and take a deep breath. we can't be happy at fucking lunch table.

"babe we can move." rae whispers to me.

"it won't stop them." i say loud out and look at him.

"guys can't you just give it up?" rae turns to them again and asks.

"you're dating the biggest loser in the school. what do you want us to do?" dave says a little louder and people start looking.

i get up from the table stomp away. i hear dave say "just let him go" to raegan as i quickly walk out of the lunch room. tears fill my eyes as i run into the closest bathroom. i look in the mirror and start to just see an ugly, pathetic, loser. they are getting in my heads.

i feel gross. i feel like raegan doesn't deserve me. i am a loser. he can do so much better.

"jay?" the bathroom door opens and raegan sees me. "oh baby." he comes over to me quick.

"they are making me go insane r-raegan i can't do this everyday." i stutter looking at him.

"please don't cry justin, i'm sorry." he says wrapping his arms around my my neck and leaning his head on mine.

"you said you'd stop it." i mumble in his chest. he sighs.

"i'm trying my love. they won't listen." he rubs my back gently. i move back and look at him. then at the mirror.

"i feel disgusting." i say wiping my eyes. "they are making me believe i am a loser and i'm not good enough for you. everyone was happier before we got together." i rant to him and pull my hair with my hands in frustration.

"except me." he says quietly and i look at him. "i wasn't happy before you. isn't that all that matters?" he asks and smiles a little. i nod, going back in for another tight hug. we stay close, enjoying this moment.

"i love you so much." i tell him. "i'm happy with you. i always want to be with you."

"i love you too. and me too of course." he kisses my forehead and i'm finally calm now. i just need him. always. to keep me happy and calm me down. "i'm going to invite them over after school and take to them, for real. okay?" he says gently to me.

"yeah, okay." i nod my head and wipe my eyes again. he leads me back to lunch to grab our things and we get a head start to our next class.

hehehehe
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