i'm sorry that i fell for you -jaegan-

chapter sixty - so much

*please note that i don't think this can actually happen. i'm making most stuff up haha*
justins p.o.v

raegan's mom tires to talk to rae in the car as she drives to the hospital but it's no use. last time he remember his parents, now he doesn't. it's worse now. i don't even know how this happened. out of no where? he was fine recently, before that bad feeling in his stomach last night. i text my mom telling her what happened and that i'm not going to school today. i need to say with him.

we make it to the hospital and we all get out of the car. i go to raegan's side and try to hold his hand. he let's me this time, molding his fingers into mine. i give him a reassuring smile and we walk in together. when we reach the front desk, raegans mother speaks.

"hi i'm here with my son raegan beast. he got in an accident not too long ago and lost his memory. but then it came back and he was perfectly fine. now he doesn't remember anything anymore, out of no where." she explains and the lady at the desk looks at her in confusion. she seems to shake it off and hand her a clip board with a piece of paper on it.

"fill out these papers. a doctor will be with you shortly." she says and rae's mom thanks her. we sit down in the waiting room.

"raegan?" his mom asks looking at him. he let's go of my hand, seeming to be a little bit weirded out now. i sigh, listening to his mom talk. "i'm your mother."

"but, how would i not know what my mother looks like?" he asks and i can see he's tensed up sitting in his chair.

"that's why we are here. everything's going to be okay." she says placing his hand on his. he just nods, looking forward. i keep my eyes on him and he sees me staring. he looks over to me slowly, bitting his lip gently.

"your face doesn't even look familiar.." he says gently. "at all." he adds and i don't say anything. i just keep my eyes on his beautiful face, trying to keep my tears from falling out.

"raegan beast?" the three is ur hear and we all look up. raegans mom stands up and so does rae. then i do as well.

"i'm raegan." he says shyly and the doctor nods.

"follow me, all of you." he says and we all walk down a hallway. raegans mom hands then lady at the desk the papers she filled out.

we get into a room and the doctor tells raegan to sit in the bed. there are two seats for his mother and i. and a seat for the doctor.

"so what happened?" he asks looking at his mom. she looks over at me and nudges her head.

"you know more of what happened. can you tell him?" she asks me nicely and i nod, grinning at her.

"first of all, last night when we had his memory, he said he had some sort of weird feeling that something bad was going to happen. and he was really worried about it. then when i woke up and tried to wake up him, he freaked out and was asking all these questions. he didn't know where he was and he didn't know who he was or who i was." i say shrugging. rae looks at me confused like he doesn't even know what i'm talking about. the doctor writes some small things down in a notepad but mostly keeps his eyes on me.

"okay..and do you boys hang out a lot?" he asks me and i nod.

"yes, im his boyfriend." i tell the doctor and he nods at me. and he writes that down. "he doesn't even remember his mom. i brought him downstairs and he ran out of the house because he was so scared that we did something to him because he didnt know who we were." i explain. the doctor seems to look just as confused as us.

"and you said he got in an accident and lost his memory not too long ago?" he asks and his mom as well as i nod. "i have to say this is very uncommon." he says and i start to get worried.

"really?" i ask him.

"yes, it's very rare that the memory loss can happen again after it was already restored." he says hitting his pen. "i'm going to run some tests. raegan, do you mind if i hook you up to some things here?" he asks.

"no." he shakes his head and puts his arms out. the doctor hooks his body up to some machines and does some other things i don't know.

"i'll be back soon. hang in there." he gives a light smile and leaves the room. the room is silent after that. i play with my fingers, bitting my nails because i'm so nervous.

"justin?" i look up quick to see raegan looking at me. he just called my name?

"yes baby-i mean..raegan?" i say quickly regretting when i called him baby. i walk over next to him and our eyes lock.

"how long have we been together?" he asks me. i take a deep breath.

"a couple of months now. we've been through so much rae." i tell him. "when this happened the first time, i missed you so much. without you, it feels like there's a piece of me gone." tears stream down my face as the sudden sadness climbs over me. he brings his hand up to wipe my tears with his thumb, and his touch calms me just the slightest.

"im sorry i tried to run. i was just scared." he says and i nod my head slightly.

"i know, it's okay. i just hate having to do this again. it hasn't been long since you got your memory back. i'm having that horrible feeling that it's like i lost you again. i love you." i say, putting my hand on top of his that's on my face.

"i'll come back, i'm sure of it." he says and i realize he didn't even say i love you back. i don't expect him to, but at the same time he said it last time he lost his memory. shit.

i take a seat next to his bed and look down at my hands. i'm sort of shaking uncontrollably. i grip my hands together, trying to calm down. i miss him already again. why him? why does he have to have something so uncommon.

"i don't want to have you tell you everything we're been through..again. it's just so much." i say keeping my head down. it's silent for a moment.

"why don't we wait and see what the doctor says, okay justin?" his mother says and i nod, whipping under my eyes. i need to relax. it'll be okay.

it'll be okay..right?

how is everyone? i hope we all good hehe
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