i'm sorry that i fell for you -jaegan-

chapter fifty - boring

justins p.o.v

raegan rides home with his parents while i drive myself to his house. dave and his friends said they will come visit another day but leave me alone with him sometimes. like today. it's late so i can only be with him for like an hour.

when i arrive at his house, they are helping raegan inside. i park my car and get out, going up to the front door as they just walked in.

"do you remember anything?" his mom asks him and he looks around for a good minute. then, he shakes his head lightly.

"may i stay for a few mr. and mrs. beast? then i need to get home for school tomorrow." i ask and his mom nods, smiling.

"of course justin. if you don't mind showing him around the house before you guys hang out and talk for a little." she tells me.

"yeah definitely." i say and feel someone grab my hand. i look over and see it's raegan. i smile down at our hands intertwined and bring him to the kitchen first.

after showing raegan around the house and him not remembering really anything, we go up to his room last.

"lastly, this is your room." i tell him and shut the door behind us. he looks around, grinning.

"not bad." he says letting go of my hand gently. he sits on his bed and looks around more. then i notice his eyes stop at one thing.

a picture of him and i, framed, on his night stand. he leans over and grabs it, bringing it close to his face. i sit next to him on the bed and look at him, looking at the picture.

"that was when we went bowling for the first time." i tell him. besides me being an ass about kyle, it was a fun night. but that doesn't need to be included.

he looks over at me after staring at the picture for a a while. "i'm sorry." he says and i shake my head quickly.

"don't be sorry." i tell him. "nothing is your fault-"

"i want to remember you." he cuts me off quickly. "i want to remember everything we've done together to get us to this point. b-but i just can't." he stutters, rubbing his head gently.

"we can make more memories together, but i'll try my best to help you remember love." i say and he just smiles a little. i gently wrap my arms around his waist, staying close to him.

"i can tell how much you care about me." he says and i smile at myself, feeling his arms around me as well.

"i do. i do so much." i say. "i have from the very beginning."

after talking for a while about everything, mostly me telling him more about his life, i had to start heading home.

"i'll come over after school tomorrow, is that okay?" i ask rae as we stand in front of the front door. he nods, smiling.

"yeah definitely." he responds. i get closer to him and give him a quick hug. we stay in the hug for maybe a minute and then let go.

"i love you." i say almost like a whisper, grinning a little. i kiss his cheek gently because i know he's not ready to kiss me for real. it would probably freak him out and i don't blame him. it's like having a stranger kiss you.

"i love you too." i see his adorable face turn pink and i giggle.

"goodnight." i say and walk out of the front door, heading to my car. i start to drive home safely, hoping his memory will somehow come back and he'll remember everything. even the bad parts. it made us who we are. together.

i get home and say hello to my mom and dad. they ask about raegan and i talk to them for a few minutes. i eat the dinner that made for me earlier and finally, make it up to my room to get some sleep.

the next day i went to school and even though the whole situation with raegan is happening, it's normal in school. dave and his friends are civil with me. no more of that crap involving them. so school is easier to deal with.

when school ends, i drive to raegan's house. when i arrive, i walk to the front door and knock twice. a few seconds later, the door opens and i see raegan. he smiles.

"justin, hi!" he let's me in and gives me a quick hug.

"hey, how are you doing?" i ask nicely and he smiles.

"i'm good uh, it's boring but it's not too bad." he replies and i nod, understanding. "how was school?"

"good but boring as well." i laugh as we walk up to his room. we walk in and he shuts the door.

"yeah i bet. anyone mention me?" he asks and for some reason i thought about kyle. i haven't talked to him in a while.

"um no i think dave told people. they probably talked to him. not a lot of people talk to me." i tell him and he furrows his eyebrows.

"why not?" he asks as we sit on his bed facing each other.

"i've never had a big friend group or anything. that's one of the main reasons why dave used to not like you being with me." i say and he just looks at me, thinking about it.

"can you tell me about an incident where dave was being mean?" he asks me. "i'm trying to remember as best i can."

"yeah sure uh, after you cheated on me and we talked that day after school, he messed with us in the hallway saying he wanted you to cheat so i can get rid of you. but it didn't work. we still walked into school together and it pissed him off. that's a recent one." i explain to him and he nods, focused on me intensely which i expected.

"okay." he nods, closing his eyes for a second. "wait!" he opens them quickly and our eyes connect immediately.

"do you remember something?" i ask quickly. he doesn't speak for a second.

"did dave hang up pictures of me and the girl on the lockers?" he asks and i nod quickly, smiling.

"yes, yes! anything else?" i ask excited and he keeps thinking.

"it's blurry but i remember chasing you into the bathroom and talking. but i don't remember what we said." he says and i grab his hands fast, climbing onto his lap.

"that's so more than what i expected." i tell him and he smiles, wrapping his arms around my waist. "you're doing great."

"i'm trying so hard. i don't remember anything before that or after though." he says and i look into his eyes.

"that's okay, you will. i know you will!" i wrap my arms around his neck and he digs his head into neck.

"i will." he nods a little and i smile to myself. he'll remember me if it's the last thing i do.

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