i'm sorry that i fell for you -jaegan-

chapter fifteen - it's love?

justins p.o.v

that night i was texting raegan until 1 o'clock in the morning. we couldn't stop talking about so much random stuff that really made me laugh. he's a lot funnier once you get to know him. and be goofy with him.

he said something to me that stood out. as we were messing around and sending each other emojis he said, "you're different." and i asked him, "how?"

he wouldn't tell me. he just continued on and ignored it. now i'm worried. different in a bad way? well why would it be a good way? it's me.

the next day when i arrived at school, i was walking towards my locker when i saw rae standing right at it. my heart rate started to speed up when i got closer to him and he saw me. he smiled and i couldn't not smile back.

"hey." i say, putting the combination in my locker.

"hi, um..can i take you out after school?" he asks. i feel myself blush as i look at him.

"sure. where?" i ask gently, trying to hide my face.

"can't tell you yet. i'll see you later." he smiles again and pokes the side of my hip, making me jump and make a soft noise. he walks away laughing, and i take a deep breath. how does he do this to me?

i'm walking to second period now and out of no where, some guy pulls me over.

"hey justin, you wanna come to my house after school?" he smirks at me and i realize it's some kid i hooked up with at a party months ago. that's when i was different. before raegan.

"oh i'm sorry, i can't." i shake my head, walking away quickly and leaving him confused. i don't want to. i can't. i don't know about raegan but i don't want to kiss anyone else. i don't wanna be with anyone else. i couldn't be.

i got super excited towards the end of the day. i wonder where he was taking me. is it a date? no way. i don't know at this point. but i'm still really happy.

the final bell rang and i quickly walked to my locker. when i noticed i was almost there, a smile grew on my face bigger than ever. i got to it and opened it, putting some stuff away to make my bag not so heavy. when i closed it and swung it around my back, i turned around.

the first thing i see is raegan a few feet down the hallway, talking to that same exact girl i've seen him with the past few times. my smile immediately drops and i just watch. i watch as her talking puts a smile on his face. and then puts an even bigger one on his face.

i slowly start to walk closer to them, but she grabs his hand and starts to walk out the school doors. he seems so into it that he just follows her, letting her lead him. he just left, with her. without me.

i am now in the hallway, alone, trying to figure out what to do with myself. what's up with him? is he falling for her? does he love her? please no.

i slowly walk to my car with my head down, embarrassed. no one is even here to see me, but i'm still so embarrassed. how could he do that to me? i was so excited to just be with him after school. but no. now i'm alone.

i go home and go up to my room, sitting on my bed, staring out my window. then i take out my phone and just look at it. why am i waiting for a text from him? no i can't. i can't wait up for him. i knew i should of just ended what we had.

i think i love him. i don't want to but i think i do. i can't believe this. he effects me so much but he's not what i want, i know he's not. but i'm in love with this kid. oh no.

(sorry this is kind of boring. keep reading it'll get better)

i've been sitting on my bed for two hours, still waiting for a text when i know damn well i shouldn't be. i shouldn't be doing this.

*knock knock*

my heart starts racing when i hear a knock at my bedroom door. but then i realize, he wouldn't just walk in. i stand up and open the door and see my dad.

"hey jay- you okay?" he asks. he always knows when i'm not okay. he knows me too well.

"i'm fine." i shrug. he comes in and hugs me, rubbing my back, trying to make me feel better.

"you want to talk about it?" he asks me and i shake my head. i really don't. "alright we'll come downstairs if you need me." he messes with my hair and smiles a bit.

"thanks." i say and he walks out. i go back to sitting on my bed, pouting at myself. at everything. then, my phone starts ringing. i look at it quick and see it's raegan. no. no, i need to be strong.

i still just want to jump in his arms and kiss him. yet he's a total jerk to me. he doesn't care. he clearly really does not care. but i do. i care so much. i'm convinced love this damn kid.

after i decline they call, i get a text from him saying "omg jay i'm so so sorry." and i just reply with "ok." setting my phone down. i'm not playing this game with him. hell no.

i finally feel the slight tears coming out of my eyes and my lip quivering. stop it. i don't want to cry over him. i need to find someone else. someone who cares. someone who will love me back. not the biggest player of the school who got dared to make me to fall in love with him.

woahhhh bahah
how's everyone? living it up i hope 🤪
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