i'm sorry that i fell for you -jaegan-

chapter twenty five - nice life

justin's p.o.v

i wait a second before lifting my arms and placing them on the back of his neck. i bring his face closer and closer to mine until our lips are touching. he holds himself up with one arm while the other one squeezes my waist, making my skin tingle.

after a minute, he disconnects our lips and sits up on the couch. he grabs my hand and leads me onto his lap so now i'm straddling him. i've never been able to keep such eye contact with someone. the way he looks at me, i can't get over it. it's so so different.

i mean forward and kiss him a little more rough than i intended. he goes along with it, sliding his tongue against my bottom lip. i accept and our tongues wrestle in one another mouth. i place both of my hands on his face, kissing him even harder.

i suddenly feel his hand slide down to my jean zipper and my heart starts racing. i know we've literally had sex before but he makes me so nervous and it's been a while.

smut
"can i?" he pulls away, asking me quietly. i look down at his hand and just nod. he smiles a little and unzippers my jeans, slipping his hand in. then his hand goes into my boxers and his fingers touches my heat. i jump a little and i'm soaked by now.

his finger pushes into me and my breathing increases heavily. my head leans forward and lands on his shoulder as he pumps his finger in and out gently.

he moves his head to the side and attaches his lips to my neck. he adds two more fingers and my let out a small moan at the feeling.

"do i make you feel good?" he asks, almost whispering in my ear. i nod my head had moan again in response to the amazing feeling of his fingers.

he keeps going, picking up his speed. he kisses all around my neck and i feel myself coming to my high.

"rae." i let out yet another moan, letting him know i'm about to release. he kisses my lips and then looks into my eyes. he has a slight smirk on his face.

"whenever you're ready." he says quietly and at that moment i release all over his fingers. he takes his hand out of my boxers and licks them, making my face turn bright red right in front of him.

"i-i'm going to go change my..yeah." i stutter nervously and get off his lap. i run up the stairs and get into my room, taking a deep breathe. holy shit.

raegan's p.o.v (ooo ;))

justin runs upstairs and i just sit on the couch, smirking at myself. he does something different to me. i can tell i do the same to him. but at the same time i don't really know what i truly feel. i don't want people to know i like him, because i'm pretty sure i do. i feel something. and it's terrifying me. i'm not a person to date someone, especially someone like justin. even though he's so sweet, and gentle. ugh.

my phone goes off as i'm thinking to myself and i pick it up, seeing a random number text me. they sent me a video. i quickly click on it and see it's a video of justin and i in the hallway today after the scene with my friends. it's zach recording with dave. zach is my other friend. they are laughing.

you can vividly see justin and i smiling at each other and then kiss a few times. then the video goes blurry and stars shaking because of zach laughing while holding the phone. the message with the video says "whole school seen this. zach says 'no one looks at some fuck buddy like that." my blood starts boiling as i keep watching the video.

justin's p.o.v

i make my way downstairs after changing and relaxing upstairs after what just happened. as i take a glance at raegan he's standing up, looking angry.

"hey?" i ask as a question. "you alright?"

"no! okay i'm not alright." he raises his voice right away and i start to get nervous.

"what happened?" i ask and he hands me his phone, playing a video. him and i. kissing. in school after the scene with his friends.

"this happened. i cannot believe this!" he takes his phone back and throws his hands up in frustration.

"i don't really understand." i say truthfully.

"people are going to think we are a thing justin, when we aren't even close to that!" he shouts again and i furrow his eyebrows are him.

"i-i thought...i mean you always kiss other people what's different about this?" i ask confused. he takes a deep breathe, seeming annoyed with me.

"it's because of the way we are looking at each other in this, it was just in the moment." he says and i freeze, realizing what he just said.

"just in the moment?" i ask. "you said you liked me, raegan."

"yes but the school can't know that. they don't have to. we are never going to date. i'm never going to love you! these are just another one of my hookups with mixed feelings." he rants, running his fingers through his hair. i've never seen him this frustrated. i hate it.

"oh." is all i say, looking down slightly. i didn't expect him to say that. i didn't know..

"ugh this is all your fault!" he shouts suddenly and my eyes immediately fill with tears. my fault?

"me?" i ask confused. "raegan i-i-

"no don't 'raegan' me. you're the one who caught feelings in the beginning and who confused the shit out of me and that is why this is happening right now." he says keeping his distance away from me. i wipe my eyes, not wanting to believe his words.

"you're joking right?" i ask him seriously. he shakes his head at me, crossing his arms. "do you fucking realize that you're one who's been being all cute with me recently and who just fingered me on my own damn couch! you have some nerve telling me this is my fault." i shout back, feeling my heart shake inside me.

"oh please justin! did you really think i was going to love you just because of my actions. i can't love you, i can't love anyone." he says. "and now the whole school thinks i fell for you. hard." he keeps going and i fight back the urge slap him right in this moment.

"you really need to stop caring what other people think of you so much. it's ruining you." i say harshly and try to stop myself from breaking down right in front of him. he comes closer to me and looks deeply into my eyes.

"you fell for me. you made the whole school think i have these strong feelings for you when i don't. i should have never tried to do this with you." he says and then walks past me towards my front door. i feel tears escape my eyes and roll down my face.

"raegan!" i say and turn around. he stops and turns to look at me too. "i just hope you know that i put so much useless love and trust into you so this hurts me even more. okay, i've wasted my time. this whole damn time, i could have had a real boy who loved me but i stuck with you because i started to believe that wow, maybe raegan beast might actually start to like me. even love me. but no. so i'm sorry. i'm sorry that i fell for you so hard and that this is all my fault." i whimper a little, covering my mouth. don't cry. don't cry! "have a nice life." i go back and sit on my couch, noticing that he's looking at me.

"this was all a mistake." he says shaking his head at me again and then just walks out with his head still on fire. my whole body starts shaking and i break down. that totally just ended. i'll never get to kiss him again. hold him again. love him. what a douchebag.

i almost cried omfg jaegan still hits me
but anyway, hope you enjoyed. hehe
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