i'm sorry that i fell for you -jaegan-

chapter sixty two - home

justins p.o.v

i slowly make my way back to raegan's hospital room, not knowing what i'm going to say to him. when i finally reached the door, i took a deep breath. dave is waiting in the waiting room and his mom went to home to take care of a few things.

i open the door and the first thing i see are raegans eyes, staring right at me as i walk in the door. i can feel my hands shaking slightly at the anxiety i have right now.

"justin i-..i didn't mean to say he looked familiar right in front of you. i know you're my boyfriend and i'm sorry for everything." he rambles as soon as he has he chance to. i walk over, grabbing his hand gently. he squeezes it. there isn't anything connected to him anymore. he's just sitting in the bed with a hospital gown on.

"it's not your fault. i just..this sucks rae. i love you and i can't seem to catch a break." i shake my head, looking down. "i'm sorry i exploded on you. you did nothing wrong."

"lay down." he says quietly, scooting over and leaving room for me. i do and he wraps an arm around my waist. "i love you too." he says kissing my forehead and i feel some sort of relief.

"i don't want this to keep happening." i say, wrapping my arms around his neck. "you know me better then anyone else, i don't understand how you can just keep forgetting."

"it'll come back though." he says in a reassuring voice. i kiss his cheek the slightest, my lips barely touching his skin. his face turns a light shade of pink.

i start to explain a little about our relationship to him. not everything, mainly good parts and the challenges we've faced. i tel him more about dave, shane, and caleb and kyle. how kyle was my friend but then he tried to make a move on me. just a lot that he should know.

"i'll try to remember as best i can." he says, looking into my eyes.

"you said that last time, but thanks." i tell him. "i'm here for you through anything. i just got frustrated before." i feel like a total idiot for blowing up like that. that's the last thing he needs to see.

he just keeps his eyes glued to mine. his beautiful eyes switching from my left eye to my right. a small smile curves on his lips and i glance down at them. i don't want to scare him but i want to kiss him so bad. are you getting déjà vu right now? yeah, me too.

"can i kiss you?" i almost whisper, my heart pounding out of my chest. he doesn't answer, he just leans in slowly and our lips touch.

i put my hand on his cheek and feel the electric shocks zapping my body. i kiss him harder, feeling him pulling me closer to him by his arm around my waist. our lips move in sync and his hand creeps under my shirt, his cold fingers touching my skin.

*knock knock*

rae and i pull away, looking at the door. the doctor walks in along with his mom and dave. i give them a small smile and they seem to lighten up a bit that they see me laying with him.

"do you remember anything?" the doctor asks. dave and his mom just take a seat near the window.

"i mean no but i'm learning a lot about people and my life." he says to the doctor and the doctor nods nicely. i cuddle up against rae's chest, laying on my side. i lay on my head right up against his shoulder, close to his neck. it's still raegan i'm laying with here. this feeling is the best.

"that's good. how long did it take for his memory to restore last night?" the doctor asks and his mother answers.

"about two days, i believe." her voice is soft and much different from the way i usually hear her talk. i feel bad, her son is going to keep forgetting who she is along with himself.

"so from the tests, it would make sense that it'll take the same amount of time here or it may not. i need you all to be strong for raegan and make sure you do your best to restore his memory every time this happens. don't rush it, but his brain will need it slowly to remember." he says and i have to say, my stomach turns at the words 'every time this happens'. i don't want this to keep happening. i don't want to fear that everyday i wake up, he won't know who i am.

"okay doctor, whatever he needs." his mother nods, standing up. raegan rubs my arm gently, catching my attention. i look up at him and his eyes look down at me.

"i'll remember you every time at some point, just remember that." he whispers, sending shivers through my body. i nod my head, knowing he will but i would do anything for him to just not have this random disease.

"he may go home now. i will give you a copy of his results ms. beast and i will need you to sign some things. come with me." he gestures to the door and rae's mom follows. it's just raegan, dave, and i in the room right now.

"we've been through a lot, bud." dave says, grinning at raegan. i nod at him, and rae looks from dave to me.

"i'm sure." he says, not really knowing what to say. i don't blame him either. this is all a crazy experience but i need to be strong for raegan. i can do this!

i keep my eyes on rae, kissing his cheek lightly before digging my head into his neck again. i close my eyes, relaxing against his warm body. i cant wait for him to go home again. take two of giving raegan a house tour. but i don't care. i love him. and i always will.

the end!!

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