i'm sorry that i fell for you -jaegan-

chapter nine - lay down

justins pov:

it's two o'clock in the morning and i can't sleep. i've been tossing and turning all night. i cant get raegan off of my mine. will be consider my feelings? will he try to talk me out of because he still wants to have sex with other people? would i even date him? though, he would never date me.

my phone dinging interrupts my thoughts and i extend my arm to grab it. i turn it on, the light almost blinding me. i see raegan texted me. i open it quickly.

raegan

hey, i can't sleep. are you awake?

i cant sleep either.

why?

idk, why can't you?

i don't know either.

i think for a moment before sending him the riskiest text i've ever sent someone. i type "come over." and send it. oh my god, no way i just did that. what is he going to say? i want him to come over. i'm so stupid for wanting that. what if my damn feelings grow?

he answers within minutes saying "omw" and i almost throw my phone. why is he coming here? oh because i told him to. fuckkk he makes me so nervous.

i don't answer and quietly leave my room, making sure not to wake up my mom. i go to the front door and open it, waiting for him to arrive. thank god we don't have an alarm or anything like that.

a few minutes later, through the pitch black i see his car pull up in my driveway. he gets out and walks up to my house. my heart is jumping out of my chest. he opens the screen door slowly and comes in, shutting the front door behind him.

"hey you okay?" he asks, hugging me right away. i wrap my arms around his body and nod into his chest.

"i am now." i whisper, taking his hand and bringing us upstairs as quiet as possible. we go into my room and sit on my bed. why did i bring him here? he puts his hand on my leg and i look at him. his eyes are insanely beautiful.

"justin?" he asks gently.

"yes?"

"how do you feel something for someone like me?" he blurts out and i shrug my shoulders.

"i don't know. you treated me like no one has ever treated me. something about the way you work things when being with me." i say, not looking away from him. i hear him swallow hard. he stands up, putting his hands behind his head.

"i don't want to even be mad that you did catch feelings but you shouldn't of." he says with his back to me.

"i-i didn't want to." i stutter, getting nervous now. i didn't want him to know this so soon.

"you said you wouldn't." he blurts out, turning face me. "you said you were tough and you were just like me. well i didn't catch feelings for you, did i justin?"

"you're so different." i say, putting my hands on his face. "the way we moved our bodies together. the way you made me jealous so fast. the way you want to hang out with me all the time but for the wrong reasons." i explain, rubbing his cheek with my thumb. i almost wish i could see something in his eyes. but all i see is sorrow. he doesn't like me back. he feels sorry for me.

"you shouldn't of agreed. it hasn't even been a week." is all he says and i sigh, taking my hands off of his face.

"sorry." i mumble, disappointed. it's silent for a minute before i hear the sound of my carpet.

"but i don't want to push you away just because you might have some feelings for me." i hear and almost have some hope. maybe something could happen.

"why not?" i ask.

"you showing me your emotions like this makes me care about you. and i like hanging out with you." he smiles a little. that adorable smile. "but.."

"you don't feel the same way." i interrupt. he stays quiet, he knows i'm right. "and i thought i was just as tough as you. i do what you do, but there's something about you. and like i said the way you just kissed her the next day. it killed me." i explain to him.

"i didn't think it would." he said. i just nod, knowing he didn't. and i know he didn't really care either.

"it doesn't matter." i say but he grabs my hand and i just look at our hands together. intertwined with each other.

"i don't want us stressing over this right now and i don't want you upset." he pulls me closer to him and i agree. this is the last thing rae wants to deal with. he's not such a soft person. i don't think he likes this.

"i'll try not to." i say quietly and he just looks at me, not looking away.

"lay down." he says soothingly and i do, laying in my bed. the relaxation i need right now is crazy.

i feel rae lay down next to me, but he doesn't touch me. we are facing the same way, looking at each other. i get under one of my blankets and give him some to get under as well.

his eyes start to close slowly, and now i can see how tired he really looks. we have school tomorrow. we both need to get some sleep. but i can't stop looking at him. i could look at him forever.

"get some sleep." he says, putting his hand under my chin for a moment gently. i grab his hand, going closer to him until our bodies are touching. he doesn't take his eyes off of me as i move. i dig my head into his neck and yawn, feeling really tired.

he wraps his arm around me, swirling his finger in circles on the back of my shirt.

"goodnight." i kiss his neck softly before turning my head a little and slowly falling asleep.

"night jay." i hear before i shut out everything completely.

i'm so tired rn woah
it's not even that late lmaoo
comment and vote pretty plz