i'm sorry that i fell for you -jaegan-

chapter seven - nothing

justins pov:

"i don't want to." i say bluntly. "please, just take me home. i want to be alone."

"justin-"

"please." i look at him again, and i can tell he knows i'm upset by my facial expression.

"fine." he finally agrees and we get in the car. the drive to my house is silent. no words are said. no music playing. nothing.

he parks in my driveway and i quickly try to get out of the car but he locks it. i unlock it but he's quick to lock it again. i turn to him.

"stop." i say and he just shakes his head.

"how did i make you upset?" he asks, putting his hand on my thigh. i look at his hand, and his thumb rubs my leg gently.

"i'm not upset." i mumble.

"i know you are." he says back. i don't say anything, i just sit there, looking at his hand. i'm tough. i'm strong.

"like you said, all we have is sex and that's it. why would you care how i feel?" i ask gently, curious of his answer.

"sure justin, i'm tough and all that. but that doesn't mean i don't care about people's feelings." he says and my eyes widen a bit. i look up and our eyes meet immediately. woah.

"it's nothing." i tell him. okay maybe he does care but i don't want him knowing how i feel. he'll probably laugh at me. he will definitely think i'm catching feelings and make fun.

"it's not nothing." he fights back. "come on, stop being stubborn. what is it?" he asks. i shake my head, taking his hand off of my thigh.

i grip my backpack and as quickly as possible, unlock the door and pull the handle, causing the door to open. i get out and close the door. the window starts to open but i just walk to my front door.

"jay hold on-"

"no. go home." i interrupt him and walk inside, closing my front door with a slam. i take a deep breathe and walk to the couch.

i don't like raegan. i don't have feelings for him. i hate to admit though, but i do feel something. in this little amount of time, i feel something. something little and i'm afraid it might grow. that feeling will be stronger and stronger and ill freak out. raegan doesn't like me. he will never like me. i guess i'm not as strong as i thought. i've never met someone like him.

my phone dings a few minutes after sitting in silence and i grab it, seeing that rae texted me.

raegan: you need to tell me what's up. what did i do? was i too rough?

me: it doesn't matter

raegan: it does matter. i care about you

me: yeah i bet you do. i'll see you later

raegan: jay please?

i don't answer and put my phone down on the couch. i don't want to talk about it. he wouldn't understand. he doesn't need to understand anyway.

that night i stayed home. tomorrow's friday. i can do something tomorrow night. but just not tonight.

the next day as i walked into school, i saw raegan right away. i look away and walk faster, hoping he didn't see me. i get to my locker and i almost feel my heart beating really fast. i don't want to talk to him right now.

and that didn't last long. "justin?" i hear and i don't turn around. i keep my head and body faced towards the lockers. i feel him put his hand on my hip and spin me around. i look up up once i'm faced towards him.

"what?" i ask. he brings his body closer and closer to mine, looking down at me.

"you can't hide from me forever." he says and i don't say anything at first.

"i know." i mumble.

"come over after school. we need to talk." he says softly. i sigh, nodding. we stand there, just looking into each other's eyes. i then notice he's leaning in.

he kisses me gently. not rough like he usually is. he was gentle with me. soft. and i've never loved anything more.

he pulls away and smiles a bit. i can feel my heart beating out of my chest at this point. he leaves, making his way down the hall. stop justin! i need to stop. it's a waste of time to like someone like him. he doesn't catch feelings.

the end of the day came quickly. probably because i was dreading it. ugh.

i drive home, expecting raegan to be close behind me. once i'm home, i go inside and wait for him. it'll only be a matter of seconds. he always gets here so fast.

knock knock

i go the door, taking a deep breath, and open it. there i see a still raegan, just looking at me. i move away.

"come in." i say and he does, stepping foot into my house. i shut the front door and lead us over to the sitting room. i sit down first and he does the same, sitting next to me. now it feels awkward. this is what i didn't want.

"talk to me." is all he says. i don't want to tell him. i really really don't. i keep my head down.

"why are you wasting your time on me? i'm complicated. and i don't want to do anything right now." i say and i know that he knows what i mean. but it's true. i don't. and i really am complicated.

"i came to talk to you this time." he says but i keep my head down.

"when you asked me to hang out yesterday, all you wanted to do was have sex." i tell him now looking up. he just simply nods at me.

"yeah. that's kinda what we agreed on?" he says almost like a question.

"i-i didn't really want to just do that. i wanted to talk and maybe watch a movie or something." i say a little terrified. he's going to laugh at me. i know it.

"you did?" he asks. i nod quickly, looking down and twirling my thumbs. why am i tell him this?

hehehe
i'm tired, it's late rn
hope you enjoyed. comment and vote pretty please :)