Let Yourself Fall // sequel to My Ethan Karpathy

Chapter 18.

ETHANS POV:
I think I'm up the stairs In the matter of three seconds. I run to my room where Paisley is, open the door quickly and almost scream, yell or faint. I really don't know. Paisley was sitting on the floor against my bed, holding my knife against her thigh. I can already see a thick layer of blood covering her leg. It's tricking down onto the floorboards. I am literally speechless, I reach her in three steps and grip the knife in my hand, but she won't let me take it.

"Why won't you let me die?" she whispers.

"I can't do this without you." I reply.

She loosens her grip and I slide the knife out of her trembling fingertips. I can see her growing faint, but I'm not letting her pass out on me. Some people have been known not to wake up.

"Ethan," she whispers.

"Just keep talking to me, okay? It's going to be okay?" I whisper, laying her across my outstretched legs, her head on my thighs. I continue to stroke her hair out of her face.

"I love you." she says through tears.

"I know, baby, I know." I reply.

"Ethan, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry, please never be sorry. For any of this." I tell her.

"I am." Paisley says softly, she's slipping away.

"No, no, no, stay with me." I cry. Just then, just when I need it, Chris and Jai race into the room.

"Guys, don't ask questions, just go get me water, a warm, damp cloth and barley sugar." I rush.

They run off and I look down at Paisley.

"Ethan. I need to hear you say you love me one more time." she says weakly, the tears running down her cheeks and over her ears, into her hair.

"You will, Paisley. You will hear it from me, every single day until we're old. Either in heaven, or here. Because if you're going, I'm going with you." I say through tears.

"No, Ethan. No."

Just then, Chris and Jai run back in with exactly what I need. I force Paisley to drink the water and to eat the barley sugar. We almost lose her twice, but she comes back again. Why haven't we called an ambulance, you may wonder? Well, it's because Paisley is begging us not to, and she's making threats to herself if we do. Eventually she's able to sit up in my lap. Then I hear a car door slam and a young child crying. Holly must be home. Chris realises who it is and drags Jai out the room with him. I'm glad I don't have to be the one to tell holly.

"Paisley, I know it's incredibly hard to talk about, but it's better to face it all at once some times. What have Chelsea and Rhianna done to you?" I ask after a while. For a few seconds, she doesn't say anything. She stares ahead at the wall, but then she answers. Which surprises me.

"They have been doing it since we moved. They do a lot of things. Daily." Paisley says quietly.

"Like what?" I try to ask in the most soothing way possible.

"Um, well. They push and shove me, they pull my hair, they mess with my head, they pass me mean notes, they get older guys to bash me up, they talk shit right to my face. And, oh. There's this one person who cyber bullies me every single fucking day. I block the number, delete the texts but then they always find another phone or number to text me from." Paisley explains blankly. I can feel the tears dripping down all the way to my arms which are around her waist.

"There's more, isn't there?" I say.

"Is that enough to work from? There's a lost a mile long, I don't want to go through it all." Paisley asks.

"I won't make you, on one condition."

"And that is?" Paisley sighs.

"That you show me every message those fuckwits send you and tell me every single thing Chelsea and Rhianna do from now on." I tell her.

"Okay."

Well that was a close call, but now she knows something that might just be enough to stop her from ever trying to take her own life again. If she goes, I go too.