Let Yourself Fall // sequel to My Ethan Karpathy

Chapter 86.

ETHANS POV:

"She's gone." Jai says, sounding really worried and nervous.

"What do you mean 'she's gone'!?" I ask, starting to freak out.

"I don't know! She's not here, she's left. She was in her room, and now she's not," he rushes, sounding like he's running. "She's not anywhere in the house. She's not by the creek, she's not at Graces, she's not at Chris', she's not at Cat's, she's not anywhere. She won't answer her phone."

"Hang on, check her window." I advise, thinking that's the only possible option.

"I'm outside, I'll go around and check." he says. Silence fills the call as I hear him jog to what must be the side of the house.

"Ethan, it's open..." he trails off, the truth dawning on him.

"She's ran away."

"Ethan? What do I do?" He asks hurriedly.

"Where do you think she would go? Does Holly know?" I ask.

"Holly is down by the creek with Chris' mum looking for her." he tells me.

"Check the park, beach and go to Grace's unannounced in the case to catch them off guard." I order, remembering how she hid last time.

"Will do." he says.

"Okay, I have a show tonight, and I'm not sure what I can do from here." I say worriedly, feeling really helpless.

"Alright, you better go. I'll let you know, don't worry about it. I'm sure she's just gone for a walk." he tells me. It's obvious by the tone of his voice that he doesn't think that.

I hang up to see three voice mail messages on my screen. I also see the time.. I am in so much shit. I know the voicemails will be from John or Brai telling me how late I am. I know I'm going to need to answer, so I reluctantly slide right on the notification, calling voicemail.

15 minutes ago, from John;

"Ethan, where are you? We have to go right now. The show starts in three hours and it's a two hour drive. Get back now, you've had all the time you can possibly have. We've missed sound check already. This is not professional, you need to keep this professional."

11 minutes ago, from John;

"Serously, Ethan. If we need to go without you, we will. That won't be good for your reputation since the news crew are going to this one, it's being broadcasted over the country. It's up to you, but if you want to keep this contract and career, get back now."

8 minutes ago, from Brai;

"Dude, get your fucking ass back here. John is shitting himself with rage right now, he says he's leaving in 15, no matter what. She's not here, we'll sort it out later."

We? There is no we in this anymore. This is me, and me only. Who does he think he is? Especially after all that. There's no way it's going to be 'we' anymore. Never, not in a billion years. I only have a couple of minutes to get back, but that's okay because I see it in the distance. I start to jog, stepping it up to a run. I must admit, this is helping me let of steam and assisting me in forgetting my thoughts. I run straight up the bus steps, straight past John, ignoring his dagger-like stare. I mumble him a 'Don't ask' and continue right on. I go straight to my laptop and pull up every social media Paisley has, searching for clues. Nothing.

"You find her?" I hear a voice say from the doorway. It was Brai.

"No, leave me alone. I'm busy." I snap back at him, not in the mood to talk.

"but I ha-" he starts, but I don't want to hear it.

"Brai, leave me the fuck alone." I interrupt, making a look of shock and hurt spread over his face.

"You want to he-" he starts again. Can he not take a hint?

"Fuck off, Brai! I have enough to worry about." I say, suddenly realising how rude I sound.

"Fine! You'll regret that." he says, turning and storming off.

I continue to search around other close friends of Paisley's, but still find nothing. It's like she's disappeared off the face of the earth. A flash goes through my mind of something horrible, but then I realise I would feel it. She's definitely alive, she's just gone somewhere.

***

The bus pulls up out the back of a big arena. John rushes us out faster than ever before. We go through hair and make up so fast, I don't know how they do it. We didn't get to pick our clothes, and the shirt I'm wearing seems really itchy. This is all so stupid, and I'm honestly really unaware of what's going on around me. Everything seems to spin past me, life passes me by. It's all rushing past in this colourful blur, and all I can see is my reflection in the mirror.

I start to see cloudy images of someone standing behind me in the mirror. I can't see their face properly yet, but it's someone tying something around their neck. I watch them drop, and as if the ground had disappeared below them, they fall, the rope tightening around their neck. I flinch and close my eyes tightly, blocking everything out. I want to scream, I want it to all be over. I open my eyes and the image is gone.

Soon, I am standing by the stage, watching Brai perform. As much as I dislike him right now, that guys got some good talent. I stand there, expressionless, trying to forget as he finishes his last song.

"Alright, everybody! Thank you for having me, but now it's time for the one you've all been waiting for! Ethan Karpathy!" He shouts into the microphone, holding out his arm towards me. That's my cue. I plaster a smile on my face before jogging out to the crowd. I'm meant to shake Brai's hand, then he leaves, but he starts to speak.

"Please be tolerant of Ethan tonight, he could be a bit shall we say.. Distracted. He's going through some hard times with his girlfriend. I spoke to her on the phone earlier, and i wanted to let him know in front of all of you, that she's okay. So give it up for Ethan!" He shouts to the crowd, going to shake my hand.

Why would he say that?

Why would he say that, right now, right here?

Is he trying to make me mad?

What is he doing?

Why would he say that?

That's private, and he knows it.

He's trying to make me stuff up, and it's working.

I feel a mixture of hatred, jealousy and hurt. So many things are rushing through my head. The girls, the screaming, the tears, the hate, the love, the energy. They had no idea of my life, of how fucked up it really is. I think of all of this in a split second, and my anger right now tops everything. Why would he say that?That question keeps playing over and over in my head. Why did she call him? Brai's still standing there, this look in his eye. It's a challenging look, like he's smirking at me through his eyes. He's doing It on purpose in front of all these people. He's standing there, his hand held out, begging me with his eyes to shake it. I don't, though. I do something much worse, something I really regret. Right there in the middle of the stage, right in the jaw,

I punch him.

A/N: PLEASE READ.

alright, so I'm going home Tuesday. Hopefully my updates will be back to normal, but we'll see.

I don't know if many of you realise how hard it is to keep a book up and going this way. Most of the other fanfictions I've read only update like once a fortnight maybe. I try my best in getting an update for you at least every second day, but my life is getting busier. I'm going into year nine, which means I'm going to have more homework.

Anyways, on a lighter note..

IF FOR SOME CRAZY REASON, YOU HAVENT SEEN SHY YET, THE VIDEO IS UP TOP OF THIS CHAPTER. IT IS RAINING AND MISERABLE OUTSIDE WHILE IM WRITING THIS AND THE RAIN IS MAKING ME SLEEPY.

One more thing. Please follow me! Let's see if I can get 100 before school goes back? (Australia)

Peace, love and Ethan Karpathy.