Let Yourself Fall // sequel to My Ethan Karpathy

Chapter 74.

ETHANS POV:

'Your my hero, Ethan Karpathy'.

Very few words, so much meaning. Out of all the things she's ever said to me, this has to top everything on so many levels. I finally feel like a real man, like a real boyfriend. I feel like I've succeeded in something I didn't even know I was doing. It's like wining a game you didn't even know you were playing. It's perfect, it's just beautiful. It's everything laying in front of me. She looks cracked, she looks broken, but laying there in front of me.. She looks happy. She looks happy with me, no matter how broken she is, she's happy. And that is the best feeling in the world. I don't understand why bad things happen to good people, but I guess bad things happen to everyone at some point. I know I need to protect her, but I also need to help myself. I need to think of a solution to this. Then a thought hits me. Would John allow her to come on tour with me? I can take her to places, we can see things together. It would be the most perfect thing.

I hold Paisley to my chest the whole night, I want to be right here if something happens. This is exhausting, but I know she would do the same for me. One moment of ignorance from me, and things could all end in a few quick seconds. She falls asleep against my chest, her small breaths through her nose tickle my bare skin. I keep her warm figure securely wrapped up in my arms. I think it's about midnight when I hear Jai come in.

"Ethan?" He asks.

"Shh, I'm in here." I whisper, pulling back the curtain.

"Oh I'm sorry, are you staying?" He asks, lowering his tone to a whisper.

"If that's okay."

"She needs you. Just, Ethan..?" He starts, hesitating.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"She's been getting these nightmares. Even when she was in her coma, we all thought they were flashbacks or something. She would scream your name, like you were there too. Or maybe like she wanted you to help her." he says.

"Why didn't you tell me, Jai?" I ask.

"Everyone figured that there was no point making you even more worried. They didn't think she was going to make it, let alone have no memory loss. I was scared shitless that she wouldn't remember me, or you, or anyone she loves. I was scared she would wake up and want her mum, and then she would have to go through all of that again. And this time without us because she wouldn't know who we were." he says, trying to sound brave but I can see his eyes tearing up in the dim light from the moon.

"Jai.. I need to thank you. You've saved her twice, and you've been there whenever I was too scared or couldn't be. She needs someone who can do that, because sometimes I just get so scared I run away from the problem. I always come back, but it's in that time that I'm gone when she really needs someone. Thank you." I say, finally letting that out.

"I just need to let you know that Paisley is really close to me. She's probably one of the closest people to me ever, and I promise you that there's nothing going on. Our feelings are purely friendship and I'm going to make sure no one gets near her when you're not there. I promise that I will go down fighting to make sure she has what's best for her. Even if she claims she doesn't want that." he tells me.

"Look, I'm just grateful that everything's cool between us now. Sometimes I just get a little.. Anxious and jealous because of the.. Past. But, I do want you to know that I don't hate you. Even if it seems like it some times." I reply.

"I'm happy for that too.. But there's one thing I think you need to know." he says, scaring me a little.

"I think Brai has feelings for Paisley."