Let Yourself Fall // sequel to My Ethan Karpathy

Chapter 42.

PAISLEYS POV:

I snap awake at 6:30 am from a thought. It just popped right up in my head, sirens blaring and lights flashing. That comment someone made- 'before he tries again', what does that mean?..I sit up with the blanket still over me and hug my knees. I am so deep in thought that when Jai puts a hand on my shoulder, I almost turn around and punch him.

"Woah, woah, woah, calm down." Jai whisper-giggles.

"Sorry." I reply, my heart beating so fast it's not funny.

"what's wrong?" He asks, rubbing my back to sooth my rapid heart beat.

"Last night, I heard you guys talking. You said 'before he tries again'. What does that mean?" I say in between big breaths.

"Um, Paisley. Don't worry about that." Jai stutters.

"No, tell me." I snap. I don't want to get angry, but maybe that's the only way he will tell me, because I think I have a theory, and I hope like hell I'm wrong.

"No, don't worry, Paisley." Jai says, sliding his hand off my back and placing it in his lap.

"He tried, didn't he?" I whisper. How could I be so stupid? Leaving him alone without telling him anything.

"He tried cutting the vein in his wrist." Jai answers, his voice cracking, looking down at his fingers.

"What have I done?" I say, starting to cry.

"Paisley, it's not your fault." Jai assures me.

"Yes it is, everythings my fault. Now I have to go see him." I tell him, getting up.

"No, you don't. You will just go running back to him like you always do." Jai says, following me out the room. I run down the stairs and out the front door.

"Paisley! You can't keep running back to him over and over again when he's hurt you. I think you guys need a break, it wasn't a healthy relationship." Jai says once the door was closed behind us.

"Maybe I want to be with him! Maybe I love him so much I can't stay away, because something like this always happens. If I lose him, you've lost me too."

"Paisley, you need a break from each other! Just a little one, to strengthen your relationship." Jai tells me.

"You're right," I sigh. "I think I need to put my guard back up, I don't know if this whole cousin thing is true."

"Just let him earn you back." Jai says, stroking my cheek.

"But what if he doesn't know how. He has used everything that usually would work." I say.

"He will find something. He always does, but for now, let's go back." Jai says, leading me back into the house. We walk back up to Grace's room and find everyone else awake. They all say hi and ask where we've been so we just tell him that we were talking about something. They all seem to understand something for some reason, oh well.

CHRIS' POV:

I know what you're thinking, I'm a prick for letting Jai and Paisley do all that stuff. If it was any other guy, I would make sure they leave he touchy, feely stuff to a minimum, but it's Jai. I guess I can just see that their feelings are nothing but friendship ones and I know they are really close. I heard them talking the other night, when they said I love you. They only mean it as friends, nothing more. They disappeared early this morning, I heard them talking but I couldn't understand until Paisley got up and left the room. I heard Jai follow her so I sat up and walked to the door. This of course woke up Grace and she asked what I was doing. The sound of us talking obviously woke up Brai and Cat and soon we were all listening at the door. They disappear out the front door so we listen from the window. We can hear the voices, but can't understand them. I still know they're talking about Ethan though. They come back in so we all sit on the bed, acting casual. They tell us they were just talking so we let it go.

BRAIS POV:

In a way, I feel bad for Ethan. Paisley knows that he didn't cheat on her, and I'm sure she believes it, but she won't go back. It's plain obvious that they need each other, each one falters without the other in some way. She just won't go back, and nothing is changing her mind. I am getting my cousin to drive me down to Ethan's today. I'm going to spend the day with him, getting to know him. Not just simple things, the deep stuff. I want to know his whole story. Where are his parents? How did he meet Paisley? I want to know about his past. No one actually knows my past, I keep it bottled up inside of me. But I made myself a promise. If Ethan's story matches up to mine in any way, I will tell him. Not even my best and closest friends know, and they know every other detail about me.I guess I'm pretty close with Cat now, we spend a lot of down time together. I know what you're thinking, and we're not going to end up together. We are just friends and that's all we'll ever be.

"Guys, I have to go." I say when I see I have the text from my mum. She's picking me up.

"Where are you going?" Paisley asks.

"Mum wants me home today." I lie.

"Alright, well bye." Grace says. I smile at them and head down the stairs where I bump into Sarah.

"Oh hey, Brai." she chirps as she smiles at me.

"Hey, I'm just going." I say.

"So am I." she says, opening the door for me. I smile in thanks as I head out to mums parked car.