Let Yourself Fall // sequel to My Ethan Karpathy

Chapter 39.

ETHANS POV:

Where is she? Where has she gone? At least I know she's safe and okay. Chris says he found out his information from Grace, but I don't want to go interrogate her. I might lose the only person on my side, and that's Chris. Maybe this was fate. Maybe this was fate telling us that we need a break. I guess, in a way that's true. We have been at it nonstop for 2 years now, we are only 15. Even if she believed and forgave me, I doubt she will want to come straight back. I'm just scared she will run away again and I'll never find her. I would delete all my social media, throw my phone in the creek and swear to never talk to another soul again if it meant Paisley never thinking I'm cheating on her. I can't imagine what thoughts would be running through her head. She's probably thinking that just because she didn't put out, I had to get it somewhere else. She's probably also thinking that she's not good enough and that I needed someone else to fill in the gaps she couldn't. None of this is the case at all. She is perfect, I don't want anything but her. She fills all the gaps in my life.

Maybe I should call Holly? No. I want to sort this out myself, with the help of Chris. Only because he has contact with her and said he will help. She only took her phone, purse and some clothes. Nothing that's going to help me find her. I thought of tracking her phone, but she always has her phone on do not track. When you think about all of this, it sounds like I'm a stalker trying to stalk a poor, innocent girl. But that's not it. I just want to know where she is, so I can go do something about this. I just don't know how I'm going to get back with her this time. How do I ask? It's going to be like all of the other times. I've done the promise ring, I've done everything I know of. She will want it to be different. What can I do? I can't just use the power of music, because Chris used that one. I don't want it to be some cliche thing, I want it to be real. Then I realise. She still has the ring. Maybe she will come back. I don't know what to do. Holly isn't coming back for a week and I'm in the house by myself. Usually it would be fine because Paisley would be with me whenever I needed her. But she's not. For some reason, I'm not upset and depressed. I think it's because I know she's okay and that she will come back eventually.

I look at the clock and see that it is 10:30. I guess since there's nothing to do, I should get some sleep. I grab my glass of water and take it upstairs. I'm about to walk into my room when I think of something. I take a few steps back and walk into Paisley's room. I scan the room until I find what I'm looking for; Paisley's teddy bear. I bought this teddy bear for her early last year and there hasn't been a night where she hasn't had it near her. I grab the bear and take it back to my room, climb into bed and hug the bear close. This is my second night alone in the house. At around 2 in the morning, I hear a massive crash of thunder. Moments later, a big flash of light lights up the room. A storm. Paisley.

PAISLEYS POV:

I wake up with a jolt when I hear a massive crash of thunder outside. My head bashes against something hard but I don't know what it is. I kind of thought I was over my storm thing, but I guess that was when I had Ethan by me. And again, I am thinking about Ethan.

"Oww," I hear Jai groan in pain. I must've hit his jaw when I jolted awake since his chin was on my head.

"I am so s-sorry." I whisper though my fear gets the better of me.

"What's wrong?" He asks, starting to get worried.

"Storm."

"Oh, come blanket camping with me. It helps." Jai whispers.

All of a sudden, I start to shiver. Jai grabs one of the bigger spare blankets from the end of the bed and chucks it over us. He drags it up over our heads and drags me down under further.

"My cousin used to be so scared of storms. I just took him under the blanket and talked about random shit to distract him." He explains.

"Oh."

"I can't get distracted. I guess I just need to feel safe." I add, finally thinking of the right words.

"I can do that." Jai says. I can feel him smiling in the dark. He wraps all of his limbs around me and squeezes me in his arms tight. Suddenly, another big clap of thunder sounds, even louder and closer than before. Then of course, the big flash of lightening. I could see the flash through the three blankets.

"Safe enough?" He asks.

"Thank you." I reply, kissing him on the cheek.

"I just wanted to say how great it is that we can act like this and still have no feelings attached. You're seriously my best friend." Jai whispers it in my ear.

"I know, I love you. As a friend of course." I reply.

"Then in that case, I love you too." he replies as we both fall back asleep again.