Let Yourself Fall // sequel to My Ethan Karpathy

Chapter 33.

PAISLEYS POV:

My toes are in the sand. I take off my sneakers, shove them into my bag and let my toes sink into the warm sand, wriggling them around and savouring the warm feeling that's spreading over them. I take a deep breath and walk down onto the soft, silky sand. I find a nice rock and lay my towel by it in the sun. I sit down on my towel and take off my shirt, enjoying the feeling of the sun on my back. I'm wearing my black fringe bikini because it is the most comfortable one I have. I lay stomach down on my towel and finally stop to think. Ethan had sex with another girl. How long has he been doing this? How long was he cheating on me? Since when was I not enough? Who the fuck is chloe?

The tidal wave hits me. I jump up and sprint faster than I've ever sprinted before in my entire life to the water. I fall into the small waves and let myself sink under for a few seconds. I open my eyes, ignoring the burning feeling in them from the salt water. I surface a couple of seconds later and feel the warm feeling of tears falling like Niagara Falls. I tilt my head back and stare at the blue sky. Oh how I wish I was up there right now, in the sky with no cares in the world, no bad feelings. Just the endless sky. I float on my back and try to make pictures from the fluffy white clouds although my vision is blurry from the tears that are rolling out the corners of my eyes into the ocean.I love Ethan so much, but it seems lately that every week, he does something that breaks another thread. These threads are what was holding our relationship together. I don't think I can ever go back to him if he really did cheat on me.

I don't know where to go, but I'm not going back tonight. I could go to Meghan's house, but her dad doesn't like me very much and he would probably take me back. I don't stop crying until my nails go weak and my fingers go wrinkly. I take a really deep breath, breathing in the clean, salty air. Most people say they hate the smell of the beach, but I love the smell of the beach. It's calming and relaxing. I stand up and wait a few seconds for the blood to rush back down from my head before walking out of the water and across the sand to my towel. I lay down on it and rest my forehead against the ground, rest my elbows next to my head as support and interlock my hands behind my head. I continue to cry in small sobs as the sun begins to set.

"Paisley?" I hear a small female voice say from above me. I wipe my eyes as best as I can and lift my head up to look at the two girls standing in front of me.

"Grace?" I ask, trying to not let my voice shake.

"You're crying..? What happened? Are you okay?" Grace asks worriedly.

"No, it's okay. I'm fine," I try to lie, but I fail badly.

"No way, where's Ethan? Let me call him," Grace rushes, pulling out her phone.

"No! Don't!" I protest a little too quickly.

"Oh.. Ethan troubles." she says, sitting down in the sand in front of me. The other girl that's with her sits down too. She's quite a bit older than Grace, and they have the same orange hair and freckles. I think they're related.

"This is Sarah, Sarah, this is Paisley." Grace introduces.

"Im Grace's sister." Sarah introduces, smiling the same smile that Grace smiles.

"Hey," I say, trying for a smile.

"You don't have to smile if you don't feel like smiling." Sarah says sympathetically.

"Thank you." I reply, trying not to cry.

"Now, what happened?" Grace asks, reaching a hand out to brush a heap of hair that was blowing in my face behind my ear.

"He ch-cheated on me." I stutter as the tears start up again.

"What!?" Grace asked. She sounds as shocked as I am.

"I saw his t-texts this morning. He had s-sex with another girl yesterday when I w-was home." I explain, letting a couple of tears fall. I avoid any eye contact with either of them and stare down the beach to my left.

"Does he know you know?" Sarah asks.

"No, he was sleeping."

"Does anyone know you're gone?" Grace asks.

"No, Holly went out."

"I'm assuming you don't want to go back tonight?" Sarah asks.

"Not really, but I have to I think." I say, the tears slowing. I have no more to cry.

"Well, you don't have to. Mum and dad have gone for the week and I'm in charge of the house. It's just me and Gracey. You could stay with us tonight if you want." Sarah offers.

"Is that okay?" I ask, surprised by this generosity.

"It's perfectly fine. I know how you feel, this happened to me a couple of years ago. Kind of." Sarah says.

"If you're coming, we have to go now before it gets too dark." Grace announces. I nod and gather up my stuff. I put my shorts and shirt back on over my now dry bikini and we walk up to the car.