Let Yourself Fall // sequel to My Ethan Karpathy

Chapter 47.

ETHANS POV:

We walk down to the park since it was only a block and a half away. I follow the others behind the little stage that was set up and we walk in the little door that is in the back. Jai waves goodbye and disappears out of sight. Inside we find a surprise; Maddi and Robbie are here. Turns out they don't live that far away and could make it today. Robbie didn't contact me, so I'm quite surprised. The inside of the stage is full of cables running in all directions. It's only one small room so it's a little uncomfortable at first. Once you get used to it, it actually seems pretty cool. We run through our songs a couple of times, then it's time to start the concert.

The order we go in and the songs we sing goes like this:
Everyone- let's get it started
Grace- fire starter
Me- give me love
Robbie- hey soul sister
Chris- the A team
Maddi- at last
Me- one way or another
Chris- small bump
Robbie- drive by
Maddi- fighter
Grace and Maddi- blank space
Robbie and Chris- Chloe
Brai and I- wonderland

That's quite a list, but it actually isn't that long. I take a peek out through a little gap in the curtain and see a massive crowd gathered on the lawn. I check my watch and see that showtime is in two minutes. I search and search the crowd and see no sign of Paisley. I start to get butterflies- no, stomping elephants in my stomach at the thought of Paisley being out there. The nerves of the show are nothing compared to this.

"Alright, places!" someone calls out.

We all walk onto the stage and face the back wall, except Maddi. She's taking Bella's starting line. We all look at the ground, our backs to the crowd as I hear the curtain open.

PAISLEYS POV:

The curtain opens as Maddi delivers the first line of the song perfectly. Then the rest of them turn around and I see him. I see Ethan. Why didn't I realise he would be here? Why aren't I running off screaming and crying? Because I miss him, that's why. Jai notices my face and puts one arm around my waist. I shake him off, paranoid that Ethan will spot it and something bad will happen. From what I can see, Ethan hasn't spotted me yet. I don't know if that's good or bad. Chris must've told him I would be here.

"He knows you're here, Paisley." Jai says quietly as though he can read my thoughts. I just nod because I can't take my eyes off of him. He's flawless, he's mine. He was mine. He's not mine. Is he? He has my heart, but have I left it too late? If I've left it too late, my life is as well as over. I will have nothing left that I love. I honestly can't picture myself with anyone but Ethan. Maybe I was too selfish, wanting him to earn me back. Maybe that was the one thing. I wanted too much of him. He can only give as much as he can give. Looking back on it now, I knew deep down, after those first few days that he really didn't cheat on me. I knew in my heart, and I didn't go running back. I guess I wanted to know how hard Ethan would fight to get me back. And now, I see that was near impossible. I wouldn't let anyone give him any clues whatsoever. He didn't know where I was, how I was doing or what was happening. He didn't know if I was in the town, state or even the country still. He didn't know if i had gone off with someone else, or even ran away with Jai again. I remember what Jai told me, about him trying to commit suicide. I don't know what happened or how serious Ethan was. I will have to make a note to check that out when we are together again. If we are together again. Actually, maybe I'll leave that one out. I think Ethan would appreciate it if I didn't question him about it. This is all presuming that we end up back together.

***

The rest of the concert goes by in a breeze and before I know it, it's the last song. I counted and so far Ethan's only been on twice, everyone else has been on three. The last performance must be Ethan, but the last few have been duets, and there's no one left.

"And for our final performance for today, these two are going on tour in a few weeks, so be sure to book your tickets at tikitec. Give it up for Brai James and Ethan Karpathy!" The announcer announces as the two boys walk onstage.

ETHANS POV:

We are on the last chorus when I see her. I almost stop singing right there and then, but this is professional, so I have to stay professional.

"We found wonderland, you and I got lost in it. Life was never worse but never better." Brai and I sing, but I'm so distracted with Paisley. Suddenly, she looks up and notices I'm staring at her. Her facial expression is blank but I can tell she's about to cry. It takes all of my self control, but I tear away my gaze so she doesn't cry. I know what I'm going to do. When Brai and I finish the song, Brai puts his mic on the stand and goes to walk off stage. But I stay.

"Dude, songs over." Brai whispers, stopping to turn to me.

"I'll just be a second." I wave him off stage.

"Hi, um. I just have something to say." I say into the microphone.

"Ethan? What are you doing?" All of the sound guys are whisper-yelling at me. But I ignore them, I'm on a mission.

"So, um. Paisley. You aren't going to talk to me unless I do it this way, but I gotta let you know. I didn't cheat on you, that was my cousin. I promise. I love you with all my heart, and I know this isn't good enough, but I want to be with you again. Forever this time, and I mean it. Paisley please take me back. Please forgive me." I announce to the whole park.

Paisley just stares at me for a second, her eyes going watery as every single person turns to her, as if they were waiting in anticipation for her reaction. She takes a quick glance around and starts to look sort of scared. She turns around and runs away, ignoring Jai's shouts. I can't help myself, I jump off the stage, drop the mic and chase after her as fast as I can, shaking off and ignoring all the grabs and shouts I get from all the girls.