Hermitcraft Season 6 oneshots (mostly songfics and angst)

Ren angst (idk)

this was requested by wildeheart64 so here you go! :) (btw this is another of my fricking rant... I made it angsty hope you like it. this is what anxiety feels like k bai)

Ren was happy at the moment. or he thinks...he didn't really know if he was really happy or not because he's been acting his whole life. or wait... he thinks he was once happy. oh well, it's a long time ago and no one cared. 

anyways, all that aside, he was going to a concert with Doc. he didn't want to go because he knew he's anxiety would be way worst but who cared if he's hurt or dying? probly should make better use of your worthless life, make others happy. that was what he thought as they drove to the concert, Ren was sweating the whole time and biting his lips till it starts to bleed.

after they got into their set, Ren looked around. bad idea. so many people around! so many, and so loud. so loud. so loud 

BAM! 

oh. Ren thought the first song had started. in reality, the first drum sound wasn't that loud, but Ren is having a sensory overload. he has it every time he gets an anxiety attack. the music started and so loud... so loud. Ren moved his hand to cover his ears but Doc slapped his hand down and handed him something... he couldn't pay attention. it was so blurry oh. it was the band's merch hat. Ren opened his mouth to say thanks but only a tiny whimper came out. oh, this again. he can't speak. he feels his lungs clinch up and his stomach feels like he was being squished. 

everyone around them was so loud... it feels like Ren was stuck in a glass box with sounds swirling around him, getting louder every time it hits the glass. he couldn't breathe, he couldn't talk, he couldn't hear anything other than the blaring music.

"uh... uh..nee tuuuuu geet ahht..." Ren rasped. it was all he could say. Doc just looked at him weird and looked back at the screen. oh. it was only the ads that were playing. it wasn't even the band. Ren felt dumb as he squished out of the stadium and went to the nearest bathroom.

he locked the door, sat on top of the toilet and breathed. in and out... in and out... after a good 10 minutes, he's got his voice back as his breathing was fairly normal. Ren didn't want to go back into the concert because he's just going to have another attack. he thought about calling Doc to tell him that he was having an attack then he remembered the talk he had with him a couple of weeks ago.

<flash back>

"hey, doc... I need to tell you something." Ren said, sitting on the sofa in the living room 

"yeah?" Doc said as he sat next to him. Ren was sweating again. it was going to be hard.

"I... I um have server anxiety, depression and um sensory overload..." Ren said. he didn't know what to say next so he just left the conversation in a weird place.

"Why are you telling me this?" Doc said, looking straight at Ren, making his throat close up and his breathing was going haywire

"I... just tu teel yooo uh... nee heep" Ren rasped out, holding his stomach.

"Ren. I don't believe is this stuff you know. it's what your brain says, you're fine. you're just overthinking the situation. " Doc said, now leaning back on the sofa.

"auh..." Ren whispered. he couldn't say anything else. how could say anything back to him when he answered him like that? "ehkay..." Ren whimpered as he ran to the bathroom to calm down. he had tried to go to therapy but Doc won't let him.  he said that it was a waste of money and he was ok. but deep down Ren knew he wasn't

<back to normal time>

Ren didn't want to just sit there for the whole time because Doc's going to come to find him and scowled him for being weak and taken down by his imaginations so he took a deep breath and slowly walked back inside. the Band had just started as he sat down next to Doc.

"where did you go?" Doc asked not looking at Ren.

"o-oh I was... um just using the bathroom..." Ren said, thanking God that he didn't lose his voice again.

"oh ok," Doc said and turned to talk to the person on the other side of him. oh. he made a new friend aready. well, I guess I wasn't enough for him. he's not wrong... Ren thought, putting his hood over his head so the sound isn't that bad. 

<timy skipy till they were back home!>

"Ren. do I need to tell you again? you can't be beaten down by your imagination again!" Doc sighed.

"I'm sorry Doc... I can't help it..." Ren said in almost a whisper.

"you can't help it? YES, YOU CAN! you're just doing this for attention, aren't you?" Doc screamed at him and Ren whimpered. his lugs closed up and he's breathing hitched, he was shaking. oh. Doc was mad at him.

"m'sarry..." Ren whispers and crawling backward on to the couch that they were sitting on.

"sorry isn't going to fix it. you have to stop it you got that?" Doc said and Ren just nodded and whispered something Doc can't understand and left.

and... Ren never came back. till Doc found his dead body in the river next to their house. Ren was gone forever.

hey guys. um Ren is me (except im not ded) and Doc is my mom. she doesn't believe in anxiety and stuff like that, and mine has been getting worse. I don't even know if I have anxiety because I can't go to a therapist. I don't know if I have sensory overload but I searched up the symptoms and it matches so I guess idk. I also don't know if I have depression but I'm always feeling i'm not up to the standers and idk, just a horrable person in general. my friends laugh at me when I have an anxiety attack at church because I can't talk (or I can only whisper things) and I'm usually shaking so that's that. hope you like the chapter Wilde heart!

(if you could know what's wrong with me please tell me. thank you all)

thank you guys for reading my horrible crappy dumb chapter see you guys next Friday!

-horriable Stuffy :)